


Of Kings and Knights With Dragons and Fire

by mickytaka558



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Dragon Rider Ushijima, Dragons, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Injury Recovery, King Daishou, M/M, Prince Oikawa, Princess Alisa, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sleeping Together, Soldier/Guard Tendou, UshiOi Is Not Abusive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:49:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 85,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7176266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickytaka558/pseuds/mickytaka558
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a long moment of silence before Tooru finally dares to speak again. It happens after a lot of thoughts and considerations, but it is needed. Tooru needs to know.</p><p>“Why did you save me?” he finally asks.</p><p>Wakatoshi stops with his movements, his eyes lost in a spot of Tooru's shoulder. Tooru follows his gaze to check if there is something wrong, but finds nothing. Wakatoshi must be thinking, or choosing his words perhaps. But what is there to think about? He should know why he risked his life to save someone he has never met before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Escape Through the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I will prepare you a horse and help you get out of here.”
> 
> Tooru blinks, suddenly realizing she is talking to him and what she just told him. Maybe his own ears are tricking him, or maybe he's just lost it. “But the King... If he finds-”
> 
> “He won't,” she interrupts, determination dominating her mismatched eyes. “At least not soon enough to catch you easily.”

Tooru doesn't know for how long he has been running.

The horse he was given is very good though, because it keeps running at full speed even though they have been out of the castle gates for hours now, and it doesn't slow down through the dense forest, not allowing itself to be distracted by the trees or the yelling of the army at his heels.

There are many soldiers behind him; way too many for just one man.

He must not get caught though, because he knows perfectly well what will happen if he does.

But it is hard to try to escape like this; he doesn't know the territory of this kingdom and he wasn't given any map - and even if he was, he would not have the time to even look at it, let along learn how to orientate himself. The snow covering everything around him doesn't make it any easier and the dread growing in his guts only makes him feel like he might just drop unconscious off his horse.

It takes every ounce of his body not to.

If Suguru manages to lay his hands on him again and bring him back into captivity, Tooru will not be killed. No, the King would never even think of ending his life. There will be a punishment however, and it will most certainly hurt. Everything he has done to him in the last five years is more than enough of a reason to believe so.

Even before he managed to slip out of the castle, when Suguru was fucking him mercilessly on his giant bed, with drugs and other substances administered to him by the maesters circulating in his veins, Tooru could only focus on the pain.

There are fresh cuts and bruises all over his body to prove it, along with dried and sticky remains of cum in and out of him, on his thighs and back, which he didn't have the time to clean up, that are now sticking to his clothes, tainting them and helping out the cold to pierce through the fabric and through his muscles right into his bones.

“Tooru-chan!”

The galloping of horses and the barking of the hunting dogs is getting louder. And yet, despite the noise and adrenaline and fear, Satori's voice echoes and reaches the fugitive's ears, so perfectly recognizable it makes Tooru stop to breathe for a moment.

Satori must have asked to be in the front line of the group.

Tooru doesn't need to be told to know that.

But he can't get distracted by thinking about it: he needs to keep being focused, to guide his horse through the foreign place without getting stuck. “Come on,” he whispers and gently kicks the animal on its sides while gripping tighter on the leather reins.

Then, he is called again. “Tooru-chan!”

It comes out of nowhere and the pain it brings makes Tooru's senses black out for a moment. The arrow stabs his shoulder, and sinks in until the iron tip finally hits bone. Tooru whimpers, his voice stuck in the back of his throat as his upper body spasms.

But he can't give up, so he grits his teeth to ease his frustration and keeps going.

The darkness of the forest starts to fade slowly, broken by pale light beams coming from above, until the trees start to be less and less and Tooru realizes the forest is about to end. He exhales heavily when he finally exits it, but immediately his eyes widen when he spots his next obstacle, a steep and rocky downhill, with bushes and trees all over the place, all covered in thick white, making it hard for Tooru to spot the path to ride down.

It appears endless to him.

But ever since he was a child, Tooru was trained to become a good, a _great_ rider. He takes in a deep breath and urges the horse to go forward, and he can feel the animal tense underneath him, and he wants to hesitate too, consider a possible second option, but there is no time for that.

So he rocks his hips on the animal's back and it follows his will, galloping forward. The snow is much thicker when there are less trees, but those help Tooru out to figure his way down and see what's going on around him.

They are already a few dozens of meters down, when Tooru hears another horse neigh and stomp angrily at the edge where he was standing only minutes ago.

He doesn't look around at Satori and keeps going on, but at a certain point, right before he is about to disappear behind a more dense group of trees, his white horse lets out a scream, agitating and losing its balance. Tooru manages to glance back and sees another arrow, this time stabbing the tendon of the animal's leg and making them slip.

Tooru collapses on the ground, but the ice is slippery and he keeps going down, his horse behind him, on its side, and they both meet rocks and frozen branches, which hurt so badly they both let out inhuman sounds, but Tooru forces himself to quiet down at some point, too afraid that they might be too close and spotted.

“Go the usual way,” Satori's voice resounds in the distance as Tooru falls.

***

“ _Tooru-kun, now listen to me carefully.”_

_Tooru keeps his head low, hazel eyes lost in the long, dark-red silk trailing behind the woman walking in front of him. He doesn't look, but he listens._

_She stops all of a sudden, turning around, and immediately Tooru feels gentle hands with long fingers cupping his face. Her thumb caresses gently the fresh, dark bruise blooming on his cheek, dangerously close to his eye. It is new and it stings, but Alisa knows not to press her fingertip against it too much._

“ _I will prepare you a horse and help you get out of here.”_

 _Tooru blinks, suddenly realizing she is talking to him and_ what _she just told him. Maybe his own ears are tricking him, or maybe he has just lost it.”But the King... If he finds-”_

“ _He won't,” she interrupts, determination dominating her mismatched eyes. “At least not soon enough to catch you easily.”_

_At those words, Tooru finally dares to meet her gaze with his and presses his lips in a thin line, almost a frown, because he doesn't understand._

_Her expression changes then, and she looks away when she sees that dark hazel, her determination now concealed by a hint of sadness or shame; Tooru isn't sure._

“ _I still have to bring you to him, now. You will have to endure what he has in store for you, and after that he shall leave for today's meeting with the small council.”_

_Tooru licks his bloodied lip carefully._

“ _I...”_

_Alisa clicks with her tongue, almost angrily, but Tooru doesn't think it is directed at him. It doesn't seem so at least._

_And he is right._

“ _I am afraid I can't give you any guards though. You would be too noticeable that way, and I have no soldiers coming from Nekoma with me now. They will all arrive in a fortnight. And I don't trust Suguru's men, not even the ones in charge to protect me. Everything about you depends on how much you want your freedom back,” she explains slowly, carefully, making sure Tooru understands every single word and hopes her Russian accent isn't too strong. She still isn't used to the common tongue, after all._

_Tooru feels her hands slide from his chin, to his neck and then to his shoulders, and he can't help but feel fear overcome him._

_How can he leave now? Where is he supposed to go in a land he has only ever seen once in his entire life, five years ago?_

_Alisa tightens her grip on him, as if his thoughts were spoken out loud, and she offers him a reassuring smile. “You may have been locked in a cage for five years, but you are still a prince, Tooru-kun. A prince and an excellent rider.”_

_His kingdom, Aobajōsai might have been crushed, or, most likely, might be ruled by another, but nothing can change Tooru's blood. Nothing._

“ _Promise me you will do your everything in your power to get away from here,” she demands._

_There is a long moment of silence between them, their bodies frozen._

_Eventually, Tooru nods and lets out a heavy breath he forgot about and the next, short but gentle caress on his cheek makes his lips curve up as he leans into it for the briefest of moments. It makes it seem easier._

“ _Let's go now, okay?”_

_Toodu nods. “Yes.”_

***

He ends up falling against a rock, but the impact is deadened by the thick layer of snow and Tooru doesn't hit his head. His wounded horse collapses far away from him, away from his legs and back, leaving his bones intact and he silently thanks the Gods. Unfortunately, the white melts underneath him, soaking his clothes and making the brown cloak he was given useless when protecting him by the cold.

He tries to recollect his mind and senses, tries to control them so he can stand up to go to check out his animal, to pull out the arrow and close the cut with some snow so they can ride on, but before he is able to even kneel, the beast neighs loudly, almost screaming again, before it gets up on its long legs and gallops away at a frantic pace.

“No!” Tooru yells, but the beast doesn't listen and leaves him alone in mere seconds.

When his body begins to shake, it is stronger than him and his will; his concentration starts to break as desperation begins to take over and the dread grows larger. He doesn't know what to do. Should he do anything? Maybe he should stay here, wait until the cold freezes the blood in his veins, until he falls asleep and never wakes up again. It would be a good way to go; way better than going back to being a prisoner of those men.

“ _Promise me you will do everything in your power to get away from here.”_

It takes some time, but Tooru manages to swallow the lump in his throat, and it hurts so much when he stands up. There is something wrong in his abdomen, uncomfortable, almost painful... He pays no attention to it. He proceeds to follow the path down to the valley, quickly, hiding himself behind trees and bushes and trying to make as less noise as possible, while also listening for any kind of it that might announce danger.

He decides not to try to remove or even touch the arrow stuck in his shoulder as he walks, even though he can barely stand it, but he has nothing to stop the bleeding and sew the torn flesh and skin with.

Dodging various obstacles proves to be quite hard, because he can't see properly as the strong, freezing wind makes his eyes burn, but he miraculously manages not to stumble onto anything. He reaches the valley rather quickly, in less than half an hour, or maybe it has been more... He isn't sure.

There are less trees here as well, but he supposes they can do just fine. It takes him about a hundred steps to step onto flat ground.

And his stomach drops.

Emptiness.

Everything he finds in front of him is an endless, snow-covered, _empty_ field. There is no place to hide, no shortcuts or other paths or even people that could help him, take him away. There is just plain _nothingness._

Soon, the barking of dogs can be heard again in the distance, and a dry sob escapes from Tooru's lips. Then comes the galloping and, ultimately, those loud voices.

Tooru wants to go back to where he came from, hide under a rock maybe, and just wait. He doesn't know what for, because that way the only option would be death, but he... He can't stop.

He launches himself forward, begging his legs to be strong enough to carry him far as fast as they can and to make it easier , he shoves off his cloak, remaining only in the light, white clothes he's always been forced to wear ever since he got to Suguru's castle, so thin his skin can be seen through it, especially now that it is getting wet.

He hopes their color will make him less recognizable from the distance.

But, lately, he has never been so lucky.

“There you are, Tooru-chan!”

Satori rides out of the forest at his side and Tooru immediately changes direction. After him, appear the others, one by one, on their strong horses, with dogs running around and chasing after Tooru as soon as they spot him. The men urge their animals to go faster, Satori leading them all with wide, green, wild eyes, focused on nothing else but his prey.

Tooru wants to scream, to ask, to _beg_ for help, but his voice is cut short by the lack of breath.

With every passing second, they are getting closer and everything in Tooru's body hurts so badly. His right leg begins to throb in pain and it feels like it might give out any second.

And it does.

Something cracks and Tooru finds himself falling into the snow, face first.

The sudden cold makes his muscles spasm uncontrollably, the tiredness accentuating the sting, and Tooru simply is not capable of reacting immediately. He tries to stand up, but his body just doesn't listen.

The horses are close now, three-hundred meters at most; Tooru feels hot tears spill on his frozen cheeks, the oh so dry and torn skin.

Hazel eyes spot his fingers, purple and swollen and he can't feel them at all.

He is about to get caught; he knows it. Any second now. Satori will lay his hands on him and, once they are back to the castle, Suguru will make all the people that went after him rape him and beat him up, until he is nothing more than a mess of quivering flesh and bones.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he finds himself wondering if Alisa will take care of him after that, or if Satori will take his place like he did before she was betrothed to Suguru.

It happens all of a sudden - Tooru believes his imagination is playing tricks on him: a large shadow is cast over them all, and a loud roar echoes through space, covering fully the noise coming from the army, which stays silent even after it is gone.

Tooru covers his head, whimpering and shaking, getting ready to be captured all over again.

But nothing happens.

A loud noise is heard as something heavy lands on the ground and then another roar echoes, even louder than the first. And then-

Tooru stops breathing, eyes wide even though his head is pressed against white.

_Heat._

A burning heat spreads all over him, but it... It doesn't touch him. There are screams now, no more yelling and calling out to him.

Tooru finally dares to raise his head, and the first thing he sees is pitch black and when his eyes are finally able to focus on the figure, he spots scales and claws and horns and as he gradually takes in the figure, defining his limits with his mind, he finally begins to realize to what extent the greatness of the beast in front of him manifests.

The snow underneath him melts and soon, his knees meet grass.

***

“ _Father, have you ever seen a dragon?” a young Tooru asks as he follows the King through the enormous library of their castle._

_His father stops in his tracks and turns around to look at him, an elegant eyebrow raised, hazel eyes piercing. He doesn't reply for a while, just plainly observing Tooru's curious expression, studying it._

_Until he licks his lips. “Why are you asking me this?”_

_Tooru tilts his head to the side, holding tighter the book he took with himself from the shelves to read before he goes to sleep tonight. “Curiosity, I believe. There is no other reason.”_

_is father hums quietly, before looking away, somewhere between all the books set on the enormous table at the center of the room, although Tooru doesn't know where precisely and why._

“ _Yes, I have,” he finally answers, after another minute of silence. “I have seen plenty.” Tooru blinks, immediately offering him his full attention. They resume their stroll and Tooru eagerly follows, waiting for more words to exit his King's mouth._

“ _What I have seen, however, was nothing like what it was supposed to be. My grandfather used to tell me about almighty beasts with heads of the size of a carriage, bodies and wings so large they were able to swallow entire villages with their shadows, like the ones you will find drawn in that book of yours,” he tells Tooru and the prince swallows the saliva flooding his mouth, wondering how his father could possibly know what he is going to read. He didn't show him the cover at all; besides, it looks just like all the other books in this room._

_His father takes in a deep breath before continuing._

“ _No, they were nothing like those, and were instead held captive with chains, which prevented them to fully grow, completely untamed and wild.”_

_Tooru carefully thinks about those words. “But I thought dragons couldn't be tamed anyway.”_

_His father shakes his head. “Wrong. They might not be turned into pets, but they can be trained and ridden. Unfortunately, these days, nobody has the guts to risk and try.”_

_Tooru doesn't fail to notice the frown plastered all over his father's face, eyes still not looking at him._

_He dares to ask it anyway. “Why didn't you risk and try then?”_

_This time, the King's daze is broken, and he ends up_ genuinely _laughing, which is an incredibly rare occasion. “I had, and still have, a kingdom to rule, Tooru. A dragon requires dedication and devotion; it ca not be put in second place to anyone or anything.”_

 _The answer causes more questions to pop in Tooru's head, but he doesn't voice them. To be honest, this answer was_ not _what he was expecting, so he decides to end the conversation here in order to ponder over it some more later._

_His father, however, speaks again._

“ _There are no more healthy dragons. I'm sorry, Tooru, but you will never have the honor to see one in its full glory. There are no more brave men either; only cowards.”_

_Tooru barely holds back a heavy sigh, though disappointment irradiates through hie every pore._

_He honestly hopes his father is wrong._

***

Tooru's eyes are burning, completely dry as all his tears evaporate into nothing. His body is shaking even though everything around him is melting with each second going by.

The dragon stands still, only about twenty meters away from Tooru and growls lowly. Tooru turns to look back from his lying position, and sees men and horses on fire, dogs whining with the ones who managed to stand back, while Satori is angrily trying to calm them down, while also struggling to control his own animal.

Then, the large, dark creature shifts on the grass and Tooru looks back at it, his mouth open and only letting out sobs to the extent where his throat begins to hurt badly.

Hazel eyes widen when the large head moves away to reveal a man in black armor, sitting behind its neck. Underneath him there is a giant saddle to which he also holds onto. Tooru hears him speak, in a foreign language apparently, because he can't understand a word, but the form reminds him of ancient languages his father used to speak sometimes.

He doesn't know what to do.

The dragon stares at him with bright red eyes and there is smoke coming out of his nostrils and it is hot enough to melt even the snow underneath the army's feet behind him.

Silence reigns, nothing moves.

Then, there is an umpteenth foreign word, a command perhaps, because the dragon lowers its head. It isn't the size of a carriage, no, but it is not really that far away from it. Tooru watches it move and if he weren't terrified, he would find it gorgeous.

“Come here.”

Tooru blinks and looks at the source of the voice. The armored man is now standing on the saddle and the beast seems to grow impossibly still to allow him to do so. It takes a while for Tooru to realize that those words were directed at him.

“Don't you dare!” Satori's voice echoes in response, all over the field. Tooru gasps, his muscles involuntarily tensing, but he doesn't even spare him a glance. And so doesn't the unknown man. His bright eyes - Tooru swears he can see gold from where he is - keep staring at him.

And Tooru, despite his tiredness and pain shooting through every part of his body, finally finds the strength to stand up, very slowly and carefully. He is unstable on his legs, but he holds up.

“Come here,” the man repeats in a deep voice and Tooru's body moves on its own before he can even give it a command. The sharp pain in his his shoulder is much strong enough and when he decides to take a peek at his abdomen, he notices a spreading stain of red on his white clothes.

But he keeps moving.

The dragon suddenly growls and Tooru freezes.

“Tooru! I swear I'm going to kill you if you don't come back here immediately!” Satori yells, and Tooru immediately understands that the beast's hostile gesture wasn't meant for him.

Satori gallops forward and that is when the brown-haired man feels panic build up again. He is almost touching this almighty creature and yet, Satori is still having none of it and is coming at him.

“Climb,” Tooru hears from above him, but he feels weak and his senses have gotten dull ever since the pain of his wounds was increased by the warmth. He wants to go there, so he takes a step forward, but his right leg gives out like before and he collapses. His face meets the damp grass and melted snow and he can't believe his body is betraying him like this after the universe has finally given him a glint of hope.

The burning heat is back as the dragon attacks again, and Tooru can feel it more than ever. He doesn't hear screams this times.

He doesn't look back either.

He also fails to hear the noise of the metal of a black armor as it lands on the ground, nor the growling of the beast.

However, what he does feel is a strong hold on his shoulders, gently raising him up. The arrow is pulled out of him quickly, and the only thing he has the strength for is a soundless whimper and more tears, because the pain is consuming him and he can't even see anything, despite his eyes being open.

The man behind him doesn't seem fazed by his reaction, and instead takes him up, in a quite unusual position, with only an arm wrapped around Tooru's waist, allowing him to be bent over it as he raises him up from the grass. Tooru feels his consciousness slipping away from him, slowly. His eyelids have never been so heavy.

He blinks, telling himself to hold on because he wants to see what is about to happen to him. When his eyes are open again, they see scales, shiny and yet so dark, pitch black. In the back of his mind, he realizes the man is climbing onto the dragon with him.

“Who are you?” Tooru whispers, the pressure against his stomach not really allowing him to be louder. He barely recognizes his own voice, so low and raspy and shattered.

“It does not matter now.”

Tooru closes his mouth and is about to close his eyes again, but then he feels himself being moved and maneuvered onto the saddle. He is forced to spread his legs and he barely holds back a whine, because the tear in his muscles is beyond agonizing. His muscles and tendons must be on fire by now.

“Please... Your name... I...”

Large hands guide Tooru's pale ones onto the saddle, onto which he grips with whatever little force he can muster. Some color is back on them and he can feel his fingers again.

He looks forward, and sees Satori pacing around on his horse, the other soldiers frozen, not wanting to listen. But then, who in their right mind would go against a dragon?

“Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

A large cloak is thrown over Tooru's shoulders as the name is spoken. Tooru whimpers and tenses when the man, _Wakatoshi_ , sits behind him, their bodies pressed against each other on the saddle built for one. But he feels no danger now, so the tension dissolves as soon as the surprise does.

Tooru hears him say another incomprehensible word, and immediately the enormous beast is raising up, spreading its dark wings and charging forward, and despite his dizzy state, Tooru can feel its body move under the saddle.

And then it jumps, right over the army and it is so quick and swift that Tooru is about to collapse, but a large arm is soon wrapped around his waist and the hand presses against the open wound in his abdomen, and the pressure is a relief.

They are not landing after that jump, and instead raise higher and higher. It brings emptiness in Tooru's stomach and it is disarming, but Wakatoshi holds him against himself and despite the uncomfortable feeling of the sculpted metal against him that makes him shift a little bit further from the man as he leans forward, he is sure he will not fall.

They reach and incredible height in a minute or so, and Tooru's eyes widen, awakening from his sleepy state, as he is finally able to see everything: the castle, so far away from them he can barely believe he managed to run that far on his own, the endless forest and the cliff.

He turns his head and sees the few soldiers left becoming small ants he can barely distinguish, until they completely disappear under thick, gray clouds.

Snow is falling, but Tooru feels warm. The cloak helps a lot, and the heat irradiating from the scales of the dragon is something he had never thought he would experience in his life. It is a different kind of feeling, and he can't quite describe it.

When he was a child, Tooru would often think about the sky, the stars, the sun, the moon... He used to wonder what it would feel like to be there and see the world from afar.

At the age of twenty-one, beaten, battered and heavily wounded, Oikawa Tooru sees the world from above for the first time. And it is so beautiful he can barely breathe. Everything hurts and his mind is giving up on him, but he looks and admires, almost without blinking.

An endless expanse of white on the horizon is everything he sees before his world turns black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with today, my summer holidays begin!
> 
> I was working on this first chapter at school, during the last days when I had no more tests to take. I've been craving for this universe ever since I wrote the fantasy one-shot for UshiOi Week.
> 
> Now I finally have the time to write it and I will do my best to use the character's personalities from canon and adapt them to this world. Hopefully, I won't suck too bad at it, haha.
> 
> Anyway, I'll be taking a pause from my main UshiOi series, as I might have already mentioned. I need to gather all the ideas and set a proper plot on paper and then I'll start to update that too. I'll be asking you a bit more patience, haha.
> 
> Anyway, I've been really thinking a lot about it lately and I hope the written product is at least half as good as my thoughts were.
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you very much for all the Bookmarks, Kudos and Comments! I really appreciate the support and I hope you enjoy the reading!
> 
> ***
> 
> Come and say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mickytaka558), [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/Mickytaka558s-ART-711577285537661) or [deviantArt](http://mickytaka558.deviantart.com/)!


	2. Wounds and Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a long moment of silence before Tooru finally dares to speak again. It happens after a lot of thoughts and considerations, but it is needed. Tooru needs to know.
> 
> “Why did you save me?” he finally asks.
> 
> Wakatoshi stops with his movements, his eyes lost in a spot of Tooru's shoulder. Tooru follows his gaze to check if there is something wrong, but finds nothing. Wakatoshi must be thinking, or choosing his words perhaps. But what is there to think about? He should know why he risked his life to save someone he never met before.

Tooru opens his eyes only to find himself up in the air, surrounded by an unknown, but at the same time pleasing warmth. He blinks a couple of times and wonders whether he is dead or not, because he doesn't remember the last time he has felt this way.

Then, the pain shoots through his whole body and he whimpers and groans, his body shaking.

He is definitely awake.

Death isn't supposed to hurt this much.

The strong hold against his waist tightens even more and he is pulled back against metal. His back is sore; there are surely marks on it already, although different than the ones he is used to.

“You are awake.”

Tooru turns his head to the side, glancing at the man behind him, and he _remembers._

He wants to speak to him, but the strength to do so doesn't seem to be within him, so he closes his mouth. It is not like he has anything to say. He tries to think about everything but how he is feeling.

He grips the saddle harder and immediately proceeds to look around himself, wanting to understand where he is. The world is not white anymore, but green, which explains the overall mild temperature. And immediately Tooru knows they must be far from where Wakatoshi collected him.

His voice just doesn't want to come out if not in groans every now and then, as he shifts on the dragon's back, trying to look for a more comfortable position, but the lack of space just doesn't allow him to do so. His legs are in a pain he has never felt before; his right knee especially.

But despite how hurt he is, he still can't deny that the ride is magnificent. He sees everything; every forest, every lake, every river they fly over. In front of them, there is a large volcano and Tooru focuses on it. He has always read about them, but he has never seen one in his entire life; Aobajōsai is only made of forests, fertile fields and a few rivers, nothing more.

Tooru suddenly feels warm breath over his shoulder, the loose shirt he is wearing covering very little of that part of him – he wonders how he managed not to die from the cold – not really shielding his skin from the man's breath, and realizes that Wakatoshi's hands are all over him; one still holding the wound to prevent more blood from spilling out, the other one gripping the saddle with his ones, their fingers brushing ever so slightly.

They are getting closer to the volcano, and they have lowered quite a bit. Tooru doesn't understand what is about to happen until the dragon roars and immediately speeds up. He feels Wakatoshi's hold on him tighten even more as he tells him not to panic.

Tooru blinks and immediately they are changing direction and going right towards the large crater, and the beast lets itself fall right into it, its large wings not moving anymore.

Tooru gasps and wants to scream, because there is only darkness now and the fall is fast, but the only thing he is able to do is close his eyes and grit his teeth, his hands now both gripping at Wakatoshi's armored forearm.

When everything comes to a stop, Tooru opens his eyes and finds himself in a cave, a dark cave. He looks up and sees the crater bring the only source of light to it and he immediately breathes. The large wings of the beast are flapping again and Tooru feels his stomach drop all over again.

When they land, there is a weird noise and Tooru immediately looks down. His eyes widen as he notices the largest pile of gold and colorful gems he has ever seen in his life. His memory immediately goes to retrieve the moment when his father brought him into the secret chambers of their castle where all their coffers used to be. They used to have a lot of gold, sure, but never this much.

The dragon struggles to get its balance right, but eventually it stills and lets out a low growl.

Tooru's shoulders shake and he doesn't know what to do. But his leg is in pain, so he shifts slightly.

“Do not move,” Wakatoshi speaks and Tooru immediately freezes, his gaze lowering on his hands, still gripping onto the man behind him.

He lets go.

“I will help you climb down,” Wakatoshi tells him and the deep voice next to Tooru's ear makes him shiver. He nods.

Wakatoshi then moves behind him, his skilled hands gripping onto the quills on the beasts neck, which he uses as a leverage to get off the saddle and jump down. The gold coins underneath him move and make noise, but the beast doesn't seem to be fazed by it.

“Come,” Wakatoshi says at a certain point, and Tooru finds him right where he landed, with spread arms, motioning for him to come down. Tooru bites his lip.

“Throw your right leg on this side and let yourself fall. I will take you before you fall.”

Tooru hesitates, but as the dark knight doesn't move, he finally follows the instructions. Raising his right leg proves to be more difficult than planned, because it is heavy and doesn't move properly, but eventually he manages. He closes his eyes when he lets himself fall and when Wakatoshi's large arms wrap around him, he hisses in pain.

“I apologize,” Wakatoshi mutters, before finally letting him stand.

The gold underneath him shines and he wants to move, but he doesn't know whether he is allowed or not to. Five years of punishments for every single thing he did have become more than enough of a reason for him to think before acting. Besides, he still doesn't know anything about this man.

Of course, as Wakatoshi lets go of his waist, the blood resumes to come out, staining the white fabric of his shirt even more.

Tooru curses.

“Are you able to walk?”

Tooru nods weakly, but he doesn't manage to take one proper step before he shakes his head. His back faces Wakatoshi and he doesn't turn around even when he feels loud slamming on the floor; one, two, three... Five loud slams of metal against metal and then he feels arms around his shoulders and legs, and he is raised up as if he weighted nothing. And the feeling is different.

Wakatoshi has removed his armor, he finds out. Nothing hard is sinking into his tender flesh and when he finally looks at him, Tooru finds him wearing plain, black clothes, very tight on his broad shoulders and chest from what he can see.

Wakatoshi walks away from the dragon, down the pile of treasure and Tooru just observes the place as he slowly discovers it.

They are in a giant cave, empty despite the place they are in. Tooru has read lots about extinct volcanoes, but he'd never thought they could become something like this. The place is lived in, because Tooru spots various items, such as candles, some ancient books, boxes of all kind, all organized neatly. There aren't many things, no, but they seem enough not to miss anything.

The candles' light is not very strong, but he supposes it is simply not enough to contrast the bright rays of the sun coming from the crater above them.

In the center of the cave, there is a large natural pool, full of water and Tooru's eyes spot steam coming out of it, revealing its high temperature.

He hopes it is possible to bathe in it.

He would really like to.

His body is still trembling slightly, despite Wakatoshi's heat and the cloak he is still wearing along with his clothes. Tooru only hopes his mind isn't playing tricks on him and that all this isn't just a mere dream full of hope that could shatter as soon as he wakes up.

Wakatoshi carries him close to the pool and then makes him stand there. Tooru would like to sit, but the thought of bending his legs isn't helpful.

“I must treat your wounds now. You have already lost too much blood.”

Tooru licks his lips and finally manages to open his mouth to speak. “How do you know how much blood I've lost?” It is a stupid question, because it is obvious he has lost much. But for some reason, his brain is not processing his words, and that was the first thing that came to mind when Wakatoshi spoke to him.

“You are impossibly pale. Besides, I have seen many people die like this. So I know.”

Tooru holds his breath. Well, he didn't expect an answer like this - or an answer at all - though he really should have. Surprisingly, he doesn't like the sound of it and the realization that he doesn't have much of a choice sinks even deeper.

“I need you to remove your shirt,” Wakatoshi tells him, standing in front of him and Tooru finally has the chance to see what he looks like. There is not much difference in their heights, but Wakatoshi is much more muscular, with broader shoulders than his, strong arms and legs. His hair is neatly trimmed, of a dark brown color and it suits his face, with its strong jaw and aquiline nose. But what strikes him the most are his eyes, with their sharp look and bright gold color. He had seen it right the first time.

The sharp look he receives in return makes him swallow all the saliva he had in his mouth until now.

“I can't feel my shoulder,” he confesses to him, eventually.

Wakatoshi nods and takes a step closer to him. “I apologize in advance,” he says and before Tooru can ask for explanation, those large hands are pushing off the large cloak and then taking a hold of his shirt and pulling. He tears it in two with just a few twists of his wrist and lets it fall onto the rocks, exposing Tooru's torso, pale skin stained with all kinds of dark colors.

Gold eyes immediately move to see the open wound on his abdomen and his lips press in a thin line. Tooru doesn't dare to look down. His hands instead go to his pants and he moves them past his hips to let them fall down his legs.

His right knee is swollen, the skin bright red – _that_ Tooru dares to look at. And it is not a good sight.

But, he finds out, Wakatoshi's eyes aren't focused on that. Instead, they seem glued on Tooru's marked thighs and what is left of Suguru's activities before he managed to escape. The crusted cum on his thighs is making his skin sticky and Tooru feels embarrassment taking over him slowly. He looks away after kicking off his shoes.

Wakatoshi apologizes for staring and then proceeds to help him to sit down, before rushing to one of the boxes Tooru saw earlier and bringing it next to him.

The former prisoner finds out that it contains all kind of medical items. There are lots of creams and bottles of ointment, and bandages as well.

“I need to clean you up first, to prevent infections,” Wakatoshi explains as he takes a hold of a clean cloth. Tooru just nods absentmindedly, not really caring anymore. His strength is leaving him once again and he feels sick with himself and his own body, though it is not really his fault.

When the warm, damp cloth comes in contact with his skin, his muscles immediately start to spasm. The open wound burns and stings and he lets out a groan, but forces every cell of his body to stay still as Wakatoshi wipes it clean. Hazel eyes are lost in the movements of the man, until he calls his name, breaking their attention.

“Yes?”

“Put your clothes behind yourself and lie down.”

Tooru does so without complaining, lying on his back and exhaling a broken breath as the flexing of his abdomen shoots another twinge all over him. Wakatoshi shifts until he is sitting at his side, and he grabs now one of the smaller containers, which reveals to be holding a cream as soon as it is opened.

“I will have to patch it up now, then burn the skin to prevent infections,” Wakatoshi tells him and Tooru swallows, the anxiety devouring him slowly, because he heard many soldiers of Suguru's being healed like that, though most of them died anyway.

Wakatoshi turns around and looks at the dragon, who is now lying on top of its treasure. He speaks in the foreign language again and the beast turns its heat towards a pile of wood in the most distant corner, spitting fire. But it is not the same amount it was on that field.

Tooru watches it spread on every flammable item in the zone.

He says nothing.

“This will be painful,” Wakatoshi warns then, and Tooru already knows. His words don't make the expectation easier to bear. “Would you like a cloth to bite?”

“No,” Tooru mutters and closes his eyes.

Wakatoshi has already prepared the needle and the thread and has put a hand next to the open wound. “Alright.”

As expected, Tooru's voice comes out in a scream when Wakatoshi pierces this skin with the needle for the first time. He screams, because Wakatoshi is careful, but not gentle. He doesn't lose time with reassuring words and sweet promises as Alisa used to, the few times when she has to simply disinfect his wounds.

Tooru had enough to endure in these last years, both physical pain and psychological pain and at some point, after twenty soldiers raped him when he first tried to escape, he though there would be nothing that could hurt him more than that did.

He was wrong.

Every pierce of the needle makes his body shake violently, his sight blur, but Wakatoshi's free hand is pressing against his chest, holding him down against his clothes, so only his arms and legs are moving. His right hand is gripping onto Wakatoshi's wrist, his short nails digging into exposed tanned skin.

“Pl-please! Stop... Please stop!” Tooru begs, eyes wide and blown out, his brain not even processing what he is saying.

Wakatoshi keeps going. “You will bleed out if I don't close the wound,”

“Then let me d-,” Tooru whispers, his voice cut off by another scream.

“There are two stitches left now.”

It is over quickly, but to Tooru it feels like an eternity, and once Wakatoshi ties the thread into a small knot to make sure it won't open, he pulls away. Tooru falls back, his breathing erratic, broken by sobs. His eyes are burning and he can feel hot tears running freely down his cheeks. His throat hurts and all he wants to do is doze off. Why couldn't he faint? Why couldn't he lose consciousness and avoid all of this?

“I have to cauterize it now.”

Tooru stops breathing.

Wakatoshi stands up and walks to the burning fire and Tooru sees him pulling out a knife from it. He doesn't burn himself, Tooru notices, despite the fact that he is standing there, with flames dancing all around him.

He comes back and Tooru finally decides to take a hold of his torn shirt and he puts it in his mouth, biting hard – his jaw is trembling.

The metal against his abdomen makes him cry even harder, his eyes tearing up even more and his body starts to convulse from the inflicted shock and it continues even when the blade is away from him.

Wakatoshi's free hand moves from his chest to his hair, his thumb gently brushing over his forehead to remove long bangs from his face. He gives him a moment to collect himself, but the shaking doesn't stop, so he helps him to sit up, and Tooru's skin feels horrible, so he leans on the man's arm for support, because he needs it even though he has nowhere to fall.

“P-please... No more.”

Wakatoshi adjusts him against himself, turning him around carefully until he is facing his back. “I still have to take care of the other wound.”

“N-no,” Tooru says, shaking his head.

He can't feel his shoulder, and he knows he needs to stop the bleeding as soon as possible, before an infection pops up and damages it beyond repair.

“The wound does not require stitches. It will hurt only for a moment.”

Tooru grits his teeth. The damp cloth cleans his wound, wiping the blood flowing down his back and Tooru sees it then flying over his shoulder and into the water, before Wakatoshi stands up, goes to heat up the knife again and returns, just like before.

When he presses it against Tooru's shoulder, the latter screams again, but this time, he forces himself not to move. This time too, he is left breathless and trembling. But when the knife is thrown away after being used, he feels relief, because it is _over_.

Tooru's lungs fill themselves with air now, properly, and he is fine, more or less. Wakatoshi sits next to him, washing the cloth in the clear, warm water, and then he proceeds to clean the rest of Tooru's skin. He begins from his nape and moves down to his shoulders and collarbones, gently rubbing against his bruised skin. He then lowers down his spine, all the way to his lower back and then cleans carefully the flesh covering Tooru's ribs.

As the sweat is wiped away, some small cuts emerge, along with hematomas of various sizes, from the one of a fist to one of a fingertip.

Tooru lets the pleasing sensation take over him, and he lets his arms fall to the sides, resting his hands against the smooth surface underneath him.

“Your back is clean,” Wakatoshi lets him know before he moves in front of him, and they are facing each other all over again, Tooru losing himself in gold, allowing it to hypnotize him.

He gasps, only because of the surprise, when the warm cloth comes in contact with his tearful face. Wakatoshi gently wipes down his cheeks, his split bottom lip, but he uses his free hand to touch his skin, to feel the damage under callused fingertips.

Tooru tenses when those fingers arrive to his nipples, covered in bite marks and fingerprints, and caress them gently, brushing over sensitive skin without applying pressure. Tooru holds his breath as Wakatoshi touches him – he doesn't remember the last time he was touched this way -, his gold eyes following his own fingers. And then he is cleaning there too, and Tooru shivers.

He lowers to his abdomen, but before he is able to reach even further, Tooru blocks his wrist.

“I... I'd rather clean myself on my own now,” he stutters, not even recognizing his own voice until Wakatoshi tilts his head to the side, giving him a confused look. But Tooru insists, biting his lip. His eyes still stare at the stains of cum on his thighs and he needs to wipe it off himself. Now.

“Alright,” Wakatoshi says and hands him the cloth.

Tooru thanks him. “Can... Can I sit _in_ the water?”

Wakatoshi blinks. “I am afraid it is hot for you.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow – Wakatoshi had managed to put his hands in just fine. He moves forward and does the same. It is warm, but not as hot as Wakatoshi describes it. It feels like a hot spring, sure, and he wouldn't bathe in it all day long, but ten minutes just to clean himself up... That he could manage just fine.

“I don't-”

“Your knee.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow.

“I meant it would not be good for your knee. It is inflamed and should not be put in warm water. But if you really wish to, I will help you to go in.”

Tooru understands then, and nods. “Just a few minutes. I need just a few minutes.”

Wakatoshi stands up, wrapping his arms around Tooru's frame and raising him up like before. This time, he makes him stand on his feet. “Watch where you stand. The rocks are quite slippery, I'm afraid.” Wakatoshi's warnings are rather endearing, and Tooru listens to them. He takes slow steps and holds onto Wakatoshi's hand as he climbs down the few stair-like stones to get in.

The warmth enveloping his muscles is pure bliss. He barely resists the urge to let himself fall forward, until he dives in, but he knows that in his condition he is not capable of swimming, or even stay afloat. So he forces his thoughts away and focuses on his balance. It is hard to keep it. His right leg throbs in pain whenever he puts even the smallest amount of weight on it.

“You can sit there,” Wakatoshi tells him, pointing at a spot on the rocks. “The water should not reach your abdomen. You must be careful with the stitches.”

Tooru nods and sits down, letting out a heavy breath.

Wakatoshi is behind him in less than a second, with another cloth in his hands. Tooru turns around to look at him and his eyes widen when he finds the damp cloth pressing against his hair. Wakatoshi clutches it, letting the water fall onto him.  
Tooru's eyes close and he sighs, adjusting himself in a proper position so he can let him do whatever he wants.

Wakatoshi washes his hair of the sweat and leaves, while Tooru proceeds to scrub his thighs clean, making sure not to leave any part of skin between them untouched. Wakatoshi takes out a bottle from the large box he has next to himself and he pours the content on his hands.

“What is it?” Tooru asks quietly, but Wakatoshi doesn't answer and instead proceeds to spread it over Tooru's hair, gently rubbing his scalp and making sure he is wholly coated.

Tooru lets him without expecting an answer.

His eyes now move to the dragon, who is peacefully lying on top of its treasure, its red eyes staring at him without blinking.

Tooru feels intimidated.

It wouldn't be normal not to feel that way. Tooru can finally appreciate its figure: the strong wings, the giant head, those dark, shiny scales...

Another amount of warmth pouring over his head makes Tooru blink, distracting him from his admiring. Wakatoshi washes away the ointment carefully, and it completely melts in the water. Tooru watches it disappear, wordlessly, along with all the dirt that was covering him.

“You ought to come out now. Your knee must be treated properly before it worsens.”

Tooru doesn't even replay, because Wakatoshi is already pulling him out by hooking his arms under Tooru's and raising him up without a trace of fatigue, despite being on his knees. He stands up then, walking close to the dragon's treasure, where another case is. He pulls out a large, white towel and brings it to Tooru, wrapping it around his shoulders. Then, he pulls out some bandages from the previous box and hands them to him.

Tooru watches Wakatoshi kneel in front of him and lets him help to get dry and then proceed to carefully wrap bandages around his chest and shoulders, to cover the first painful wound. “It is to help you sleep.”

The fabric is fresh and smells like cleanliness and Tooru just stills and follows his instructions on how to move when needed. The thought of sleeping is appealing – he hopes he won't feel too much pain, because he craves rest more than anything else.

There is a long moment of silence before Tooru finally dares to speak again. It happens after a lot of thoughts and considerations, but it is needed. Tooru needs to know.

“Why did you save me?” he finally asks.

Wakatoshi stops with his movements, his eyes lost in a spot of Tooru's shoulder. Tooru follows his gaze to check if there is something wrong, but finds nothing. Wakatoshi must be thinking, or choosing his words perhaps. But what is there to think about? He should know why he risked his life to save someone he never met before.

“You needed to be saved,” the man replies eventually.

And Tooru's breath hitches in his throat. “But... You don't even know me!”

Gold eyes meet hazel. “I do not believe it is relevant. You would not have survived against an army on your own.”

After fixing the bandages around his chest and making sure they won't fall even when Tooru moves in his sleep later, he proceeds to wrap his abdomen as well, and Tooru finds himself hissing, because it is more than uncomfortable. The warmth from before has increased his sensibility and he is feeling it more than ever.

“They will not find you here.”

Tooru chuckles. Suguru will most likely look for him, even if it meant going to the edge of the world. He was a valuable prisoner – _and_ his favorite toy - and there is no way he will let him escape so easily. Satori will obey his every wish, no matter what it takes.

It is only a matter of time.

“And how do you know that?”

Wakatoshi's lips curve up ever so slightly. “Because we are hundreds of miles away from Nohebi.”

Tooru holds his breath. “Where are we?”

“Shiratorizawa.”

Tooru's jaw drops.

_Oh._

He's heard tales about a kingdom where winter never comes, when nature is at its fullest strength and development, where animals of all kinds live... He's heard about castles made of rocks and trees, fortresses no army could ever destroy, and dragons who protect it all...

But he thought they were all legends.

And yet, that legendary beast is there, in this very cave, with them, lying on its treasure elegantly, observing his every move.

Tooru takes a mental note not to believe what his books say too much. They were obviously very wrong.

Wakatoshi's hand comes in contact with his swollen knee then, and Tooru yelps, his instinct making him pull his leg towards himself, but as he bends it, he regrets it and immediately straightens it again, though the throbbing doesn't stop. Wakatoshi takes a hold of his calf, holding him still until he calms down.

He proceeds to bandage him carefully, making sure the bandages are tight enough to support him, to hold the articulation still. Tooru bites his lip for the whole time, and when finally that too is over, he lets himself collapse on his back, exhausted.

He needs to sleep.

His eyes travel to the crater and he sees that night has already fallen on them and his eyelids are getting heavy. He won't last long at this point.

“You should not sleep here,” Wakatoshi tells him, and although he agrees that the rocky surface underneath him isn't exactly the most comfortable of places, his cell was worse. So he doesn't mind - he can handle it for a night. Besides...

“I can't move.”

He hears a quiet sigh and then there are arms all over him for the umpteenth time that day, and they carry him to a hollow in the rocky wall, where Tooru finds fur of every kind of animal, probably the result of many successful hunting trips.

It looks like heaven to the wounded man and he sobs quietly, only once, as he realizes he will be sleeping in a warm bed for the first time in ages.

Wakatoshi lays him down gently and then covers him properly, without bothering to offer Tooru some clothes to put on. When Tooru wants to ask, Wakatoshi explains it to him before he even manages to let out a sound. “Your wounds need to breathe. They will heal faster that way,” he explains, and, frankly, Tooru doesn't care at all. Wakatoshi takes a hold of a glass and a jar, filled with cold water. He grabs another small bottle next to it and pours a few drops of the content in it. Tooru raises an eyebrow.

“It is mandrake. It will help you sleep by dulling the pain,” Wakatoshi says before he offers the beverage to Tooru, who drinks it eagerly, motivated by the promise of a peaceful sleep. He lies down then, sighing when his head comes in contact with soft fabric.

Hazel eyes look for Wakatoshi and find him there, just looking at him.

And he can't help it.

“ _Thank you._ ”

Wakatoshi offers him a slight curve of his lips and he pulls the covers up to his chin.

“I shall prepare you some food when you wake up,” he announces and Tooru can't wait.

His wounds hurt, but he doesn't have any more strength left to submit himself to the pain. Besides, it is only a matter of time, so he closes his eyes and exhales, lets the sleep overcome him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is chapter two! 
> 
> I'm so happy to be on vacation, haha. I can't believe how many things I managed to finish in three days.
> 
> The updates won't always be regular; it all depends on how much time I have to write and how easily I can put the ideas down. So yeah... For now my head is clear enough, so the next chaper might be uploaded in a week, but I don't want to make too many promises.
> 
> I don't really have much to say, expect that I am growing attached to this work, even though it is much more simple than my main UshiOi universe. At least for now. 
> 
> Oikawa is a wrecked mess, yeah. I loved writing that. They don't really know each other yet - Oikawa was too weak to even properly introduce himself and Ushijima knew so he didn't ask. WeThere will be much more talking in the future chapters, so I hope you continue reading!
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you for all the Bookmarks, Kudos and Comments! I appreciate them dearly! 
> 
> See you at the next update!


	3. To Give You What You Desperately Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he can't help but wonder - when did he start to give up so easily?
> 
> Tooru still can't see it properly.
> 
> Why can't he see it properly?
> 
> “Calm down,” the deep voice says, repeats and he stills, completely. The pain, however, remains.
> 
> “Now breathe.”

“ _Let me in.”_

_Tooru opens his eyes right when the door of his cell opens. His sight is blurry, but he spots bright red and silver approaching him._

_He blinks a few times, but his head hurts and he is... so cold._

“ _Lady Alisa, this is not a place for a lady like you,” he hears Satori's voice speak, so light and gentle when directed towards people of the court; so different from what it is like when they are alone, when he is preparing him for Suguru, or when he is rewarded with a night with him after a successful mission._

“ _Please do not concern yourself about where I should and should not be. I wish to see Tooru-kun.”_

_Satori exhales heavily. “But he could be contagious! We still do not know what is wrong with him.”_

_Alisa just waves her hand._

_Tooru can finally see her._

_Why is she here?_

“ _Leave me alone with him,” she speaks, her eyes meeting Tooru's._

_Satori wants to complain, try to convince her to leave once again, but she just raises her hand and waves it. “Those guards too. All of you, leave.”_

_Satori presses his lips into a thin line. “As you wish, my lady. If he tries anything, just call us.” With that, he bows and turns on his heel, walking out without looking back, the guards following him after a snap of his fingers._

_Alisa sighs then, and closes the cage after stepping in._

_Tooru doesn't have the strength to keep his eyes open. He clutches tightly at the thin blanket covering him and turns to his side, pulling his legs to his chest and hoping to get at least a little warmer than this. His stomach aches like never before and he feels like he might throw up again soon._

_His back is facing the young woman, and he hears footsteps coming towards him._

_Is she going to hurt him?_

_She is betrothed to Suguru after all, and until their marriage, the King has made clear to her, in front of Tooru, that he will keep playing with him for as long as he can and Tooru remembers seeing her face – impassible, completely distant from the conversation._

_She must have been mad._

_He waits for an umpteenth beating, but he receives none._

_Instead, he feels silk against his arm, and he immediately jolts, turning around. It causes him to cough uncontrollably, every fiber of his being hurting as he sits up violently; but then there are arms around him and a hand is lightly patting his back at the right spot, and he stops._

_He just... stops._

_Hazel eyes look up and he sees a gentle expression, with a bit of pity perhaps, and he breathes again. The hand on his back moves to the back of his head, caressing it gently, fingers intertwining with brown locks._

“ _You poor being...” she whispers. “They did not even bring you to a doctor, did they?”_

_Tooru reluctantly shakes his head, his body frozen in place._

_Alisa watches him in a way that reminds him of his mother in his moment of weakness. But Alisa doesn't seem much older than him; her pale skin glows in the poor light of the candles in the cell. She almost doesn't look real, but the warmth of her body confirms her presence. Tooru feels his muscles relax, partially from exhaustion brought to him by five sleepless nights, partially bythe fact that she feels... nice against him._

_She is warm._

“ _Why... Why are you here?” he finally asks after his breathing is more or less regular again and in response he is pulled forward, until his head is lying on the woman's chest and his blood stops flowing._

_The hand in his hair doesn't stop moving._

“ _I do not want to leave you alone, Tooru-kun. Satori does not take care of you well enough. The King does not even know about your health issues,” she replies. Tooru feels the stable beating of her heart drumming against his cheek, as the lace of her dress brushes against it gently._

_It almost makes him forget the soldiers forcing their way with him just a few days ago, before they realized he was sick._

“ _You must be exhausted.”_

_He wants to say that he is, but his voice refuses to come out more than this._

“ _And also cold. Your fever is very high, you need to be covered properly.”_

_Tooru knows that, but there is nothing in his room other than this thin mattress and the almost transparent sheet already covering him. Alisa seems to realize that and she mumbles something in a harsh language, probably her mother tongue – Tooru recalls Satori telling him that she comes from a distant country, though he didn't say which one. Her words kind of sounded like a curse._

“ _Satori!” she calls, her voice louder._

_Tooru tries to move away from her hold, but she grips him tightly, pulling him even closer and he feels like he's burning._

_Satori comes in and Tooru fails to see his expression – he wonders whether he should be grateful for that or not._

“ _Yes, my lady?”_

_Tooru feels Alisa shift, probably turning her head to look at the guard. “Bring me more blankets. And a pillow. Now.”_

_Satori only nods and paces out of the room._

_There is silence in the small place, and Tooru just focuses on his breathing, trying to synchronize it with her._

_It is an odd feeling, but after almost five years of imprisonment and torture, he finally feels... Safe? He wouldn't quite describe it like this though. But he doesn't feel the anxiety pooling in his stomach with every passing second. Alisa treats him gently, even though the only times they see each other are in the halls, when he exits Suguru's room and she goes towards it._

_Why is she so nice to him?_

_Satori comes back about fifteen minutes later, apologizing to her for making her wait, even though he was very fast. Alisa just nods and tells him to leave once again and he does._

“ _Can you sit straight?” she asks him and Tooru immediately pulls away from her, sitting with his back straight, ignoring the cracking of his spine and holding his breath to keep himself from moaning in pain, his eyes low in his lap._

_Alisa mumbles something._

_Tooru finds it pretty._

_Alisa then shifts on her legs, sitting back and taking a hold of the pillow first. She adjusts it on where Tooru's head was lying before, and then she tells him to put himself down again. He does, and the softness makes him exhale, let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in._

_He has not slept on a pillow in years._

_Not in his cell at least._

_Sure, Suguru has a comfortable bed, but Tooru only goes there to endure_ uncomfortable _things. The same goes for Satori's bed, and all the others he was forced to lie into._

_The two layers of blankets, much thicker than his, are put onto him and he feels himself melting, tiredness overcoming him for the first time in days. His eyes look for the girl next to him and he finds her smiling, still._

“ _Is this better?” she asks._

_Tooru nods. “Yes, my lady.” He swallows the saliva stuck in the back of his throat and then inhales. “Thank you, my lady, I-”_

“ _Do not thank me, Tooru-kun. You should not even speak, given your conditions.”_

_Tooru shuts his mouth. Alisa's hand rests on his forehead and he doesn't move underneath it, choosing to close his eyes instead and trying to concentrate on her pulse._

“ _You should rest now. Would you like me to bring you some warm soup when you wake up? You must probably want to avoid eating, but I can not let you starve,” she says, adjusting the covers up to Tooru's chin._

_Tooru doesn't even have the strength to reply to her, his eyelids now heavy and his head light enough for him to stop following what is going on around him._

_Alisa sings to him then, a quiet song, a lullaby, and Tooru sleeps._

_***_

He is awaken by large hands on his shoulders, which shake him so hard his head starts to feel like it might explode.

He screams and his eyes fly open, red and burning and wet. And the world is blurry and messy and it spins uncontrollably in front of him, moves at a frantic pace, and he can't even-

The first thing he spots is the color of skin, and then _feels_ the warmth of skin against skin and he... He can't be back to where he was. He can't be back in a cell, after everything he's done and given up on, he just. Can't. Be. Back. There.

“Let me go!”

His voice is broken and shattered, his throat hurts and there are throbs of pain shooting through every part of his body, forcing his voice to come out over and over again, shrieking and then breaking, and shrieking again... What the hell is happening to him?

His hands finally find a way to the wrists of the hands holding him back, and he digs his short nails into them, agitating even more. He kicks and tosses and turns, ignoring the heaviness of his legs, the limits of his arms, and there is a deep voice that seems so distant, and it's calling him – not by his name, but he knows it is calling him – and he doesn't recognize it.

There is blood on his fingers and he wants to let go, but he doesn't want to give up.

His breathing his erratic, until no more air is entering his lungs. His voice dies out and he suddenly feels the back of his head hit hard against fur.

He blinks.

 _Fur_.

The pressure against is neck is strong, but not enough to completely shut down his windpipe. It is enough to make him stop moving, his body sensing the incredible danger and an overwhelming presence above him and just giving up.

And he can't help but wonder - when did he start to give up so easily?

Tooru still can't see it properly.

Why can't he see it properly?

“Calm down,” the deep voice says, _repeats_ and he stills, completely. The pain, however, remains.

“Now breathe.”

As on command, his body relaxes and air comes in again, and he _breathes_ , slowly, deeply. Until his eyes are not watering anymore, until they stop burning completely and then focus on what is in front of him, on _who_ is in front of him.

Hazel eyes find gold staring at him, a strict and stiff expression on that face. It doesn't seem as collected as when he first saw it first.

Tooru blinks, trying to figure out what just happened, and yes, the color of skin corresponds to Wakatoshi's. The man is kneeling above him, his hair messy, his shirt nowhere to be seen, his pants low on his hips and Tooru doesn't understand, doesn't comprehend the situation.

But his experience makes him act on habit.

“P-please, don't hurt me,” he begs, because he knows he can't stand any more harm. Instinctively, he presses his legs together.

There is a pause after that, but Wakatoshi doesn't move off of him and Tooru prays that his intentions aren't what he is thinking about.

“I am afraid that you are the one hurting me,” Wakatoshi speaks then, quiet, his voice groggy and raspy. He must have been sleeping, Tooru figures and then finally realizes that he is the one holding Wakatoshi in place and not the other way around. The blood on his fingers comes from Wakatoshi's wrists, where his nails had dug until flesh was broken.

He lets go, terrified by his own loss of control, and he brings his hands to his face, trying to cover himself in front of his savior. He hurt him and he feels ashamed, and he wants to slap himself, but then there is wetness on the tip of his fingers. He peeks through them and sees Wakatoshi cleaning them up with a cloth, now sitting next to him, with the same furry blanket he is covered with covering him.

They have been sleeping together until now.

It can't be.

“You were having a nightmare,” Wakatoshi says at some point. “You begun to scream and agitate and I wanted to wake you up before your conditions worsened.” By the time the sentence is over, Tooru's hands are clean and once again resting at his sides, but hazel eyes never leave the man's wrists.

Until one of those large hands is back on his face, covering them and his forehead.

“Your temperature has risen drastically. I am afraid this is not a positive sign,” Wakatoshi tells him, his hand now gently brushing off the sweaty hair away. And Tooru gasps, turning his head to the side, away from that soothing touch. The bandages on his body are perfectly in place, despite the scene of before.

But he still feels himself burning, even though nothing is covering him anymore. His world spins even though he is lying down. He feels like he might lose consciousness so soon...

Wakatoshi stands up and walks to the box where he holds the water he offered Tooru before putting him to sleep. He pours it over a cloth and then returns to his place.

Tooru feels cold pressing against his nape and he whimpers.

But it's good.

It feels good.

His hands now search for the discarded covers, but he doesn't find them, and he wants to sit up, but Wakatoshi holds him in place. “You should not move,” he hears him say and then, with the corner of his eye, he sees him reaching for it and covering him once more.

“Lie on your back,” Wakatoshi commands and, when Tooru doesn't have the strength to do so, rolls him over.

That same cloth is put over his forehead and the sensation is comparable to bliss, Tooru thinks. Wakatoshi's right hand is wet, and he uses it to spread the cold sensation on his cheeks and chin, allowing Tooru to breathe even easier. He wants to thank him, but he just can't. His body is leaving him once more and all he can do is stare at the man as he lies down next to him, only a few centimeters away from his body, silently.

Tooru forces it out of himself.

“Warm.”

He sees Wakatoshi raising an eyebrow.

“You're warm...” It is much quieter now, almost imperceptible, but the space is small and they are almost pressed against each other in the small hollow in the rocky wall. Tooru can hear him breathe and it sounds... peaceful, relaxing almost.

And maybe it's his fever, or the exhaustion, or perhaps also the pain, but he moves a little bit closer to him, until their legs are brushing against each other.

“I like warm...” he whispers now and closes his eyes.

He _really_ does.

“May I know your name?”

Hazel eyes open again; despite heavy eyelids, despite it all.

Gold is everything he sees and it's kind of reassuring. Wakatoshi has no ill intentions towards him, or he would be doing him all kind of things to him already, despite his conditions. Like Satori used to. Instead, he is here, making sure he is alright, waking him up from nightmares and trying to lower his fever.

So maybe he can tell him.

Not all of it, sure.

Maybe it's better to hold it in for now, until he is healthy again so he can eventually run.

“Tooru.”

Wakatoshi nods. “Sleep now.”

***

It is a growl that breaks his unconscious state now.

It is something unusual, something he's never heard before and he almost forgets that it takes strength to sit up and does it without breaking a sweat. His eyes open and he shakes his head, moving the covers off his body and looking towards the cave. He sees sunlight peeking in through the crater, illuminating the whole place.

Finally, he is able to see everything without his vision blurring. There are gems of all kinds stuck in the rocky walls, which are giving their own light to the place, projecting all kinds of colors all over the place.

Tooru's eyes slide down, to the huge pile of treasure of the dragon, but he just doesn't give it his attention, because his sight is drawn elsewhere.

He finds the giant dragon in the natural pool, moving swiftly and slowly. It swims in circles, its large wings resting on its back, the tips gently brushing over the surface of the water. The large head moves down, until it is diving in. And then it emerges.

At first, Tooru just stands in place, observing it bathe peacefully, but then he dares a step forward. Immediately, the beast's head turns towards him and the light of the cave makes his red eyes stand out even more, their contrast perfect with shiny black scales.

Tooru holds his breath in, but takes another step forward.

The dragon only watches him, without a sound, until Tooru is a few steps away from the water. Only then, it growls quietly, making him stop.

The brown-haired man raises his hands. “I mean no harm,” he says, hoping he is understood. The beast responds by turning its head away and shifting in the water, giving him its back.

Tooru sighs and admires it for a while, until a shiver runs through him.

He is cold.

The bandages are barely covering him, and aren't really covering what Tooru thinks they should. He's been naked ever since he arrived here.

He looks around, and immediately spots a neatly folded pile of clothes on one of the boxes closest to the sleeping place. He limps to them and reaches out to take them; as soon as his hands come in contact with the fabric, he realizes it's all made of linen. They are soft and light, perfect also for the heat in this place; him feeling cold is the result of his exhaustion.

He doesn't think he can last long awake even now.

He wears them.

They are a bit large on him, but it doesn't matter.

Wakatoshi seems to be gone and he wonders whether he is going to be back soon or not. In any case, he decides he won't move too much, so he carefully approaches the pool and sits on the edge, where he rolls up his pants so he can slip his feet in the warm water.

He notices it is much hotter than it was that night, the steam thicker with the dragon's presence.

But it still isn't enough to burn him.

The dragon turns its back to him after peeking at him for an instant, and Tooru pouts. “You are rude, Dragon-chan.”

He receives another growl in response, so he decides to stop before the beast gets angry and burns him down to ashes. Or maybe it would eat him. Either way, he doesn't want to find out, so he shuts his mouth.

He looks up towards the main source of the light, and it seems so distant from him. The diamonds reflect it and give it a different color, along with a shiny glint and warmth only they are able to create. Tooru likes how it feels against his skin. He can't help but wonder about this place, about the beast, about his savior. Why do they live in such a secluded place? Sure, the dragon is understandable – every time he looks at it, he remembers the stories his father used to tell him, about their downfall and tragic end and he understands.

But what about Wakatoshi?

Is he hiding from someone? Or is it his choice to be here, so he can spend more time with his... _pet_? Or maybe there is something else. Either way, he highly doubts he will find out.

Maybe he should just go back to the sleeping place and rest some more; that way, he could restore his energy and maybe heal faster – his shoulder aches, making his arm feel heavier than it actually is, and it makes it so much better to hold it in his lap; his abdomen doesn't feel much better. It is hard to sit straight, the strain in his muscles making his body shake. And his leg...

He should definitely-

“You are awake.”

Tooru gasps and turns around abruptly, the action causing him to almost slip forward and into the water, but he manages to control himself, fortunately.

He finds Wakatoshi standing behind him, wearing his armor, two dead rabbits in his left hand. Tooru eyes them and then meets Wakatoshi's gold eyes. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for the man to say something, but then the beast jumps out of the water, right onto its treasure, where it lies down and roars. The water splashes all over Tooru, and he whimpers, not expecting it.

He hears a chuckle and then Wakatoshi is walking towards the fireplace, where he lays the dead preys on before speaking. “I apologize for my absence. I went out for a hunt, since I figured you would be hungry. Have you been awake for a long time?”

Tooru just shakes his head and watches as Wakatoshi climbs the mountain of gold and approaches the dragon. It lowers its head towards him and Wakatoshi spreads his large arms until the beast's nose fits between them, and then he wraps them around it, gently petting it and talking to it.

Once again, Tooru doesn't understand a word, but watches the scene with wide eyes and attention at its fullest, the gentle ministrations given to the beast weirdly remembering him of his delirious state and the way Wakatoshi calmed him down.

It must be nice. It is in any case different from the treatment Tooru is used to. Much better, of course.

Wakatoshi removes his armor then, putting it somewhere behind the pile, so the beast can guard it. The armor isn't just a common one; it is wholly black, but it also has silver and golden textures on the chest plate and whoever did it, did an excellent job, because they didn't make the common mistake of making it flashy or exaggerated.

Tooru has never seen something like it, but when he lived at court, he learned what the product of an expert artisan looks like.

This armor just... suits the man who wears it.

“Not really,” he mumbles as Wakatoshi motions him to stand up and come to him. He does so, slowly and carefully, and when he is standing close to Wakatoshi, he sees him raise his hand, and immediately placing it on his forehead.

Tooru lets him, closing his eyes.

“You seem to be better, although your temperature is still high compared to how it should be,” Wakatoshi tells him. “You slept for three days; I thought it would have lowered completely during that time.”

Tooru's eyes fly open.

_Three days?_

“I...” He doesn't know what to say. He didn't expect he would be this wrecked after that day, but he supposes it is alright. But still...

“Come with me. I will prepare the rabbits now and then I shall check your wounds and change the bandages.”

Wakatoshi makes him sit next to him at the sort of table in front of the fire. It is a smooth surface made of black rocks; Wakatoshi must have smoothed it for quite a while if he didn't have the proper materials to do it quickly. But he doesn't ask.

Instead, he watches as Wakatoshi pulls a small knife out of his pocket and proceeds to skin the first rabbit. Tooru watches its fur be torn off the muscle and he would like to ask him to help him out, because he is capable of doing that too, but his hands are still shaking and he'd rather not butcher the animal's meat.

Wakatoshi is skilled, fast and precise, and in a few minutes, he is already working on the second rabbit.

His grip is strong, and Tooru believes he could just tear the animal in pieces with his bare hands, but he still manages to control all his strength so perfectly.

They watch as the meat cooks, Wakatoshi turning it around every now and then to avoid it burning.

Wakatoshi sits close to him, and Tooru can't help but turn his head to look at him.

He would like to speak, to ask him things, but something just stops him. The dragon sighs heavily and lies down – such a lazy creature, when it is not hunting or accompanying its master around. Still, it's majestic enough to tear Tooru's gaze away from Wakatoshi.

“This is Ancalagon,” the rider says at some point, glancing at the beast.

Tooru presses his lips into a thin line; the name definitely suits him. “He is huge,” he says, to himself mostly, but it comes out loud.

Wakatoshi just shrugs. “He is still young. He will grow even more.”

They stay in silence as Wakatoshi divides the meat in two wooden bowls and even when they begin to eat.

“Now that you are conscious,” Wakatoshi begins after swallowing his bite. Tooru looks up from his food, but not at him. Hazel loses itself in the fire in front of him. “Will you tell me who you are?”

Tooru feels his heart stopping in his chest, his body suddenly heavy – the softness and taste of the meat somehow leave Tooru's senses and he feels like he is chewing on sand. He holds tighter onto the bowl, chewing slowly and repressing the urge to throw up as anxiety rises within him.

What is he supposed to say? He knows nothing about this man. What if he returns him after he reveals him his identity? What if he does even worse things instead?

Satori has once told him Suguru would have been able to sell him for an enormous amount of money if he only wanted to. But he never did; his sadism was superior to his greed – not that he needed money; a King doesn't need money.

Wakatoshi, however, doesn't live in a luxurious castle or manor. But then – he looks at the dragon – he has all that gold, and a beast strong enough to conquer him an entire city.

“ _Tooru_ , answer to my question.”

Tooru holds in a breath.

“I... I'm no one. Just a prisoner who managed to escape before being killed.”

Wakatoshi puts down his bowl and fork, before turning to sit so he is facing him, his eyes sharp and strict, and _demanding._

“Nobody sends hundreds of men to chase a no one.”

And Wakatoshi is right, Tooru knows. His instincts tell him to run, but he can barely walk on his own, and there is no way he can get out of here when he doesn't know where the exit is. He has no choice but to risk it.

If things go bad, he can eventually provoke the dragon until it kills him and, in his mind is kind of ironic. Maybe he should have done that before Wakatoshi came back. Maybe he would have been able to-

“I'm Oikawa Tooru of Aobajōsai, son of the King Oikawa Tatsuo.”

The words leave his mouth before he can stop them and he watches as the man's eyes widen, only for a fraction of a second.

His throat runs dry and his appetite is now completely gone. He puts his bowl on the rock and moves back a little. Wakatoshi is still fixated on him, his gold eyes scanning every single part of his body, then his face, looking for something Tooru doesn't comprehend in hazel eyes.

“Your father was killed, and your kingdom was turned to ashes. And now another rules what is left of it.”

Wakatoshi's words state the obvious, but Tooru feels his stomach drop when he speaks the last part. He doesn't know anything about his home, about his people – those few that survived – or about the man who is now sitting on what was supposed to be his throne.

“I know. I've seen it happen.”

Tooru expects much more; questions, statements, curiosity, but Wakatoshi only hums quietly and returns to his meal. The dragon sleeps deeply now, its snores echoing in the large cave. Wakatoshi makes no noise when eating and Tooru's stomach begins to hurt.

“Are you going to bring me back?”

A pause.

“No.”

Tooru inhales.

“Are you going to sell me?”

Another pause.

“No.”

Tooru bites his lip.

“Are you going to keep me as your prisoner instead? To use me like they did?” His voice cracks at that last part and he instinctively pulls his legs to his chest, ignoring the stab he feels in his right knee that makes his eyes flutter shut.

Wakatoshi peeks at him from the corner of his eye, his expression unchanging.

“No.”

“What are you going to do then? Feed me to your dragon perhaps?”

Wakatoshi sighs. “Do not be silly. I shall keep you here until you heal,” he tells him and Tooru wants to ask what will happen after that, but something refrains him to do so. Wakatoshi is still eating, so he glances at his own rabbit. His stomach growls quietly and he listens to his primal instincts that keep screaming at him to eat, to refill his energy stocks. He needs to heal.

He returns to his previous position, wordlessly.

Indeed, he was expecting much more surprise to his revelation, but the fact that there is almost none makes everything so much easier. He breathes, Wakatoshi's presence reassuring him now that he finally knows he is not in danger.

Surprisingly, as he resumes to eat, the food tastes better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> Here is chapter three for you! Things are about to unravel from here on. Oikawa revealed his identity to Ushijima and now everything is about to begin!
> 
> I can't wait to start working on chapter four. I already have some things scattered around random pieces of paper and I only have to put them together properly. It is so nice to be on vacation - so much time to work on what I love!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. I am aware that there is not much movement and there are still plenty of descriptions, but hey! Oikawa is pretty much just a scrap right now; he can't move too much and has barely the strength to think properly.
> 
> But I have great things planned for him! *evil laughter*
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Every Bookmark, Kudo and Comment mean the world to me! I'll see you at the next update! :)


	4. Freedom of Speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you so tense?”
> 
> Tooru blinks.
> 
> It takes him a whole minute to realize the question isn't directed at the dragon.
> 
> “Excuse me?”
> 
> Wakatoshi turns his head to the side, watching him from the corner of his eye. “You are tense. May I know the reason?”

Wakatoshi's fingers dance all over his thighs, the touch light and ghostly and it's almost imperceptible if only Tooru weren't looking at them.

“ _Allow me,”_ Wakatoshi had said, right after removing all the bandages, when he had exposed him all over again.

Tooru didn't feel shame when he did it, strangely. Wakatoshi's eyes were void of hunger or lust, or evil. He was careful with his hands, trying to avoid touching any nasty spots. And even now, Tooru sits still as Wakatoshi explores all of his injuries.

Strangely, the two closed wounds don't attract his attention too much. After checking everything to make sure there aren't any infections or bleeding, he moved to the now fading angry marks on his neck and chest and then down to his ribs and ultimately his thighs and hips.

He takes his time touching those and Tooru wonders why he even is. He is not applying ointments or creams onto them, and he isn't even trying anything else. He just... touches him. Gently.

And Tooru just lets him.

They haven't really talked much after Tooru told him who he is, but something in Wakatoshi's gaze has changed. Tooru noticed him insisting wordlessly to strip him and to treat his wounds and now that he is, there is a frown on his face. There is disgust and irritation – Tooru would be a fool not to notice those, but given his treatment, he isn't sure they are directed at him.

“Your wounds need to breathe, so I will not put new bandages on you tonight. Feel free to dress up,” Wakatoshi says then, but his hand lingers just a bit longer on Tooru's skin before he pulls away and stands up. He walks away, close to Ancalagon, who is still sleeping soundly.

Tooru hastily puts on his clothes, but stays in his place, silent. He watches as the dragon sighs when Wakatoshi caresses its head and tilts his head to the side.

“Why are you so tense?”

Tooru blinks.

It takes him a whole minute to realize the question isn't directed at the dragon.

“Excuse me?”

Wakatoshi turns his head to the side, watching him from the corner of his eye. “You are tense. May I know the reason?”

Tooru presses his lips together and looks away and the long silence after that makes Wakatoshi turn around completely, gold eyes searching for his guest. “Oikawa.”

Tooru swallows. It isn't _Tooru_ anymore, apparently. He doesn't know whether it is a good or a bad thing. But still, it makes his body freeze and still completely, until Wakatoshi is once again standing in front of him. Only then, does he raise his head.

But he still doesn't dare to move a finger more.

Wakatoshi's expression is unreadable, his posture straight and perfectly bringing out the broadness of his shoulders and chest and Tooru can't help but feel intimidated.

“You are free to speak,” he tells him. “I will not harm you.”

Tooru shrugs now, looking away. “I've been a prisoner for five years; I was _harmed_ even when I was breathing too loudly, so it's hard to believe for me that you will keep your promise.”

Wakatoshi furrows his brows, something similar to a scowl modelling his features. Tooru holds his breath until a hand shows itself in front of his face and he can feel it even though he is not looking. He clutches his clothes with his hands.

***

_There are a few hundreds of people in the throne room. Tooru knows it happens on rare events, maybe once or twice a year, when there are extremely important matters to be announced. He knows it must be about the recent invasions coming from Nohebi – the confusion inside the castle must mean that things are worse than usual._

_Tooru knows a lot about it._

_He is a talented battle planner and the last few strategies were his ideas – and they won._

_But the war is still ongoing and lots of birds came in, with lots of messages._

_As he scans the room, he can't help but notice the presence of women and children as well – and despite the fact that they all belong to rich and powerful families, Tooru can't understand the need to bring them here as well._

_The loud chatter stops as his father steps inside the large room, and silence dawns. The man's footsteps echo in the space until he arrives to the golden throne, upon which he sits._

_Tooru gives him his full attention, but before the King is able to open his mouth, a loud noise disturbs him. It's coming from the giant wooden door, the main entrance, and it seems like something just his it in attempt to open it._

_Tooru's first instinct is to glance at his mother, who is sitting next to his father, and she seems tense._

_And then there is another crash._

_And another._

_With the fifth blow, the thick wood comes crashing down like torn paper, in lots of pieces until there is none._

_And then there are horses barging in, with riders guiding them and in less than a second, Tooru witnesses the death of all the people closest to him. He is about to draw his sword and barge in, but then he sees an arrow flying in front of his face and then a strangled noise._

_His mouth drops open as he turns his head towards the throne._

_The deadly item has stabbed his father._

_Right through his heart._

_Tooru is able to make a step, but then another arrow hits the man's chest, only a few centimeters on the right of the first one. Tooru sees his father squirm, blood leaking out of his mouth and down his shaved chin. And his blood freezes, making him unable to move._

_His father is looking at him, his eyes transparent and wet, and Tooru wants to run to him, but then there is another arrow shooting that way, until the King's head is dropping forward, the dead body unable to hold it up any longer._

_Tooru hears his mother scream and he runs to her, but a soldier stands in his way, forcing him to draw his sword._

_The screams in the room are out of Tooru's head, his mind only focused on his dead father and his screaming mother, and now on the menacing man in front of him. Their swords clash, the sound of metal increasing. Tooru moves swiftly, dodges every single attack, backing the man towards the stairs to make him fall, but as soon as he is about to push him back, someone is coming from behind and kicking him in his back, making him fall forward._

_Another soldier joins in as well and only then Tooru realizes that everyone else is..._

_Dead._

_The mess inside the room is made by the horses stomping over bodies of aristocrats and women and children and men... Everyone is underneath, the pool of blood only spreading over the stone floor._

_Tooru hears his mother screaming and is about to get up, but then the soldier in front of him punches him in the stomach and the one behind him dives his hand into his brown hair, yanking him back and forcing him on his knees. Tooru struggles, tries to hit the man in front of him with his sword, swinging, but the blade is kicked away from his hand and he ends up surrounded, a third soldier now next to him as well._

“ _Tooru!” his mother calls him and Tooru turns his head to look at her, but there are other man there, pulling her up to her feet, tearing her dress in the process, exposing her shoulders and neck._

“ _Mother” Tooru yells, trying to struggle, elbowing the enemy behind him with all his strength, making him fall back._

“ _She is yours. You all did a great job!” a man of Tooru's age says as he enters the throne room, riding a black horse. His armor shines with the light coming in from all the windows, and his expressions seems soft._

_Except his eyes._

_Tooru looks at them and sees pure evil; sly and dark and menacing._

_One of the soldier holding his mother bows. “My lord, shall we keep her alive?” he asks as he approaches the black horse. The man on it looks down at the woman, who is only looking towards her son, as he struggles and tries to get free._

“ _You can do whatever you want with her. She is useless to me.” With that, he waves his hand; the action makes the three men nod their head and proceed to drag her out of the room, their manners all but gentle._

_It is all it takes for Tooru to snap._

_His limbs begin to function again and he finally manages to kick his restrainers until he is free and running towards them at full speed, down the short staircase, past the young man with a sneaky smile. His breathing stops as he approaches them, trampling and stumbling on dead bodies but not falling._

_And he is almost there..._

_All of a sudden, his coat turns incredibly tight, stopping him. One of the guards has managed to get back on his feet and is now taking a hold of him, blocking him. The sudden grip on him makes him fall forward, because the man is running faster than him and the impact_ hurts.

_Then, there is a cold sensation on his skin and it takes him a moment to realize the clothes are now torn away from his upper body, the strength of the large man forcing him on his knees greater than the endurance of the fabric._

_The other two men approach him once more, and together they manage to block Tooru's wrists behind his back and then turn him around to he is once more facing their leader. “You are kneeling in front of Suguru of house Daishō, King of Nohebi,” one of them speaks after kicking Tooru in his side._

_Tooru whimpers at the contact, but the shock is too overwhelming for him to suffer too much from it. His eyes are wide as he watches Suguru get down from the back of his steed and adjusting his clothes like nothing happened. There is a constant smirk on his face and when he finally looks at Tooru, the latter cringes._

_What the hell is a king doing out here? He should be in his castle, planning battles and keeping himself safe, and instead he is here, about to do God knows what to him._

_He walks towards Tooru slowly, but after a little while, all his eyes can focus on is his father's dead body behind him. There is a weird feeling in his stomach, as he instinctively bows, trying in vain to hide his exposed chest. He is vulnerable like this - swords cut through bare skin like knives cut through butter._

“ _Keep him still,” the Nohebi King orders and the tight feeling of armored hands on Tooru's arms is painful. Tooru tries to shake them off, but the way they are holding him makes it impossible – still, he doesn't give up and struggles._

_Suguru waves his hand and immediately, Tooru is pushed towards the floor, the shifting uncomfortable for his legs, and the three men maneuver him until he is pressed with his back against the floor, all four of his limbs blocked in place._

_Suguru stands next to him, lowering on his legs._

_He removes one of his gloves and then, with his bare hand, finally reaches out for the prince, for his chest. When it comes in contact with his skin, he gasps, obviously surprised – although Tooru doesn't understand why. The hand travels to his abdomen and it probably slips out of Suguru's mouth before he is able to stop it. “So soft... It feels like slik.”_

“Don't touch me! _” Tooru yells, trying to get away from that touch, but his forced position makes it impossible._

_Suguru chuckles, tilting his head to the side, his smirk growing impossibly wider, his long finger reaching a pink nipple after pushing the open clothes apart, revealing even more pale skin. He hums, “I like you, you know? So fierce and yet so beautiful...” As to emphasize his statement, he squeezes him hard._

_Tooru's breath hitches in his throat, his eyes widen and something begins to pool in the depth of his stomach, something that forces his heart to beat faster, his guts to clench._

_And he's never felt it before._

Dread.

_Unconsciously, he swallows._

_Suguru lets out a quiet laugh.”Oh, you are starting to understand your situation, aren't you?”_

_Tooru sucks in a breath, his hands starting to shake. “My situation? What are you talking about?” Suguru is going to kill him, isn't he? He must kill him; he killed his father, and his mother- He needs to escape and find his mother... He knows what soldiers do to women during war; he knows what the sieges are like and how they end._

_And he won't-_

_However, Suguru is different. He is... touching him in such a way and-_

Oh.

“ _I think you already understand it. Don't ask stupid questions,_ Tooru-chan. _”_

_Tooru hears the three men holding him down chuckle and he tries to break free for the umpteenth time. “I won't let you and your puppets have your disgusting way with me!”_

_His words are met with a strong punch in his stomach, which kick all the air out of his lungs. He coughs, his body shaking from the ache, when suddenly Suguru's slender but strong hand takes a vice hold of his jaw, fingertips pressing against the skin._

_Tooru's eyes focus on the tongue sticking out of his mouth and running over thin lips._

“ _Oh, my dear, this is where you got it wrong. Allow me to correct you: you are going to be mine. Mine only.”_

_With that, he snaps his fingers and Tooru gasps as the three pairs of hands on him maneuver him, turning him around and pressing his chest against the cold tiles._

_Suguru then runs up to his horse and takes a long rope from the saddle before returning. The soldiers hold Tooru's arms behind his back and the King ties him up. And once his ability to move is reduced to the essential, they let him go. Tooru keeps lying on the stone floor, his head turned to the side._

“ _Mommy...”_

_Hazel eyes blink as he spots it._

_A child raises from all the dead bodies, but he is not looking at them. Instead, he begins to shake his mother's lifeless body, trying desperately to wake her up._

_Tooru turns his head to look at Suguru and finds him staring at the scene, his face expressionless, and then looks back at the child. “Get away from here!”_

_The boy looks up at him with tearful eyes and a confused look. “Your highness?”_

“ _Well well, who do we have here,” Suguru says, kicking Tooru into his ribs once, shutting him up. Then, he steps over him and walks to the small boy, lowering on his legs in front of him. “Is this your mother?” he asks and when the kid nods, he smirks._

“ _She is not going to wake up any time soon, I'm afraid.”_

_Then, he is whispering and Tooru watches as he lures the kid to come closer to him. And he wants to scream at him to leave, but one of the soldier slaps a large hand on his mouth and sits on his back, stopping in advance any attempt of movement._

_When the child's body drops, Tooru spots red all over his face, just for a moment, before it joins all the other corpses, making silence dawn all over the room._

_Tooru stills, his eyes burn._

_Suguru makes his way back to him, drying a dagger with a silky cloth, which he later throws away. Ultimately, he shoos the man holding Tooru down, and, despite his small build, when he takes a hold of the rope wrapped around Tooru's arms, he raises him up on his feet without a struggle._

“ _Let's go,” he tells him and stands behind him, pushing him forward._

_Tooru feels the sharp edge of the blade press against his back and he is almost tempted to disobey and let himself be killed; but something stops him._

_Once outside of the throne room, Tooru's heart breaks. All the guards of the castle stand in front of him, eyeing him coldly and he looks at them for explanation, but he isn't greeted by a single word. So he doesn't speak either._

_No guard of his was harmed in the throne room. There were none._

_The realization sinks in even further._

“ _Lead me to my new room. I want to enjoy my prize to the fullest,” Suguru says in a soothing voice that makes Tooru's spine shiver._

_One of the guards approaches and removes his helmet and Tooru's eyes widen._

_Hajime's father._

_Why is he here?_

“ _I will show you the way, your Grace. Please, follow me,” he tells him and bows. Suguru hums and kicks Tooru's calf to make him move. Tooru does, despite the heaviness in his legs, the stillness in his chest. He doesn't need to ask questions to understand the whole situation._

_The maester had tried to warn his father about it._

_But he didn't listen._

_He believed in his people._

_And Tooru did too._

_He wonders if Hajime is in that crowd of soldiers as well._

_Once they are alone, in the hall leading to all the bedrooms, Tooru finally opens his mouth. “Why did you do all this?” The question is obviously directed at Hajime's father, who then stops with a click of Suguru's tongue. And before Tooru can inhale to ask more, the guard is stepping back and punching him hard on his cheek, the blow worthy of a trained knight, enough to make Tooru's head turn to the side quickly._

“ _You will speak only when required from now on,” the man tells him, then bows to Suguru one more time. “Excuse me, your Grace.”_

_Suguru just waves his hand._

_They resume their walk and once they are in front of the door Tooru knows so well, they stop._

“ _Do you need any assistance?”_

_Suguru laughs at that. “What? Are you going to fuck him for me?”_

_Hajime's father stutters, taking a step back. “I apologize.”_

“ _Just send some guards here. I don't want to be disturbed by any means,” the King adds then. “And clean up that damn throne room. I shall be crowned tomorrow.”_

“ _Yes, your Grace.”_

_And he walks away._

_Suguru kicks the door open, pushing Tooru in and then closing it behind them. Tooru finds himself being pushed forward, forward until his legs slam against the bed, making his knees sting. Then, a pair of hands presses against his back and he finds himself falling on the mattress, face first._

_The rope prevents him from moving, and panic begins to raise in him. He can't move. His family is dead. And he is now a prisoner._

_There is a shuffle of clothes behind him, and he turns around, finding Suguru undressing slowly, narrowed eyes staring down at him. When he tries to stand up, he is kicked in his legs, and then pushed at the centre of the king-sized bed.  
It is a matter of seconds before his clothes are being ripped off his body._

_***_

Tooru doesn't move.

But the presence in front of him doesn't cease, and soon, it is closer, on his level once more, just like before.

“I give you my word.”

Tooru wants to laugh at that. Every one has given him their word: his father said that he would be there to guide him, his mother said she would be there for him every time he'd need it, his godfather swore to never betray him, Hajime swore he'd grow up into the strongest knight and that he'd protect him against everyone and everything.

And yet... Here he is now.

But then, his face is cupped and turned and when he meets gold eyes, he stops breathing. That look... He's never seen anyone look at him like that; there is no trace of falseness or lies, or ill means. Wakatoshi is looking directly at him, into his eyes, and he swears once more, a hand over his heart.

“ _I give you my word._ ”

Tooru's shoulders relax.

It is stronger than any wave, overwhelming and yet so natural. Tooru's hand raises to grip on Wakatoshi's wrist and he feels tears threatening to fall.

When Wakatoshi asks him to speak once more, Tooru does.

***

Days go by and Tooru's wounds begin to heal. His leg doesn't function well, however, and he often finds himself struggling to even move around the cave, also falling down quite often whenever Wakatoshi and his dragon aren't around.

Every day, they leave the place and come back only hours later, sometimes empty handed, sometimes with food - animals Wakatoshi hunted down; rabbits, pheasants, sometimes boars.

Wakatoshi never lets him move close to the water alone. Although he allowed him to have baths, he still forbids him to let himself go in to swim. He tells him he is to weak, and Tooru, half heartedly finds himself agreeing with him more often than not. But he is still pissed off. His own body doesn't listen to him.

It never did.

Wakatoshi treats his wounds carefully, putting ointments on them, changing the bandaged, massaging the sore muscles of Tooru's legs... All of it on a regular basis, as soon as Tooru wakes up.

In the afternoons, he disappears with his beast.

But at night, he is always there, next to Tooru, wearing pants only or nothing at all – nothing at all more often than not, given the extremely warm temperature of the air - just like him. But nothing happens. Wakatoshi doesn't force himself on him, doesn't ask him to do degrading and humiliating things, doesn't bother him at all.

He wakes him up when he has nightmares.

They are getting more frequent and intense with every passing night and more often, he finds himself awoken by Wakatoshi, who sits on top of him and holds him down, pressed against the mattress, to keep him from agitating, to keep him from opening his wounds by accident.

Even tonight, Tooru is panting hard underneath him, eyes wide, forehead sweaty and heart drumming against his ribcage, only wanting to jump out of his chest and stop beating.

When Tooru realizes he is awake, he covers his face with a trembling hand. They never stopped shaking since that day. Wakatoshi finally moves off him and stands up from the sleeping place, putting on his pair of pants quickly and then going to take a cup of water for Tooru to drink. Tooru's eyes follow his form walking away.

Sleeping naked isn't helping tonight. Even the only sheet they were covered with seems too much and Tooru struggles with the pain, but eventually, he manages to throw his right leg out from under it, leaving the rest of himself covered. His knee is still red, although less swollen than it was in the beginning, but still, he doesn't consider it a pretty sight.

Wakatoshi is back in a few minutes, with a wet cloth and the cup full of water and ice – which he keeps hidden in the rocky walls, isolated from the heat.

Tooru sits up slowly and drinks eagerly, the cold liquid in his throat feeling like pure bliss. Wakatoshi freshens him up in the mean time, and by the time they both lie down again, Tooru feels a little better.

He turns his head to the side and finds Wakatoshi lying on his back, eyes lost somewhere in the rocks above them. He looks peaceful, but still composed and rested, the only thing out of place being his hair – and not even too much.

Tooru knows he should sleep, but he can't deny he is afraid of closing his eyes, of those images threatening to come back to him.

“Ushiwaka-chan?”

The nickname has once slipped out of his mouth by accident, when he was given milk of the poppy and was drowsy and feverish, and he remembers laughing at Wakatoshi's scowl, before his consciousness was gone and forgotten.

Now, he keeps calling him that, and although Wakatoshi asks him not to, he never threatens to do him any harm if he doesn't stop.

“What is it?”

“Why do you live here alone? Don't you have a family?” he asks, not bothering to beat around the bush to look for proper words.

“I don't.”

Strangely, Wakatoshi remains vague. Other than that, he says nothing, which is unusual, as for every question Tooru asked until now, he kept his answers complete and comprehensive.

“Do you not have a wife or a woman you love?”

“No.”

It is strange, given Wakatoshi's age. They are both twenty-one, and had Tooru still been at his castle, he would probably be married to his betrothed, a bride from Nekoma he's never seen before. There used to be nights when he'd imagine what she is like, but the thoughts were soon gone when he remembered where he was, in a cage, slave to a cruel king, betrayed by his own men.

Tooru swallows, looking away from his face. “Is there a husband perhaps? A lover?”

With the corner of his eye, he notices Wakatoshi's body stiffen and suddenly guilt overcomes him. He must have said something very wrong, as Wakatoshi doesn't speak for a long time. Maybe not all the kingdoms are as open as Aobajōsai is, _was._ Nohebi seemed quite open too, given the things all the soldiers and the King liked to do to him.

Still, he feels like he is daring too much.

“It doesn't-”

“Once there was. But not anymore.”

Tooru swallows once more, this time the saliva feels thicker and harder to push down. “Oh. I... I'm sorry for asking.”

Wakatoshi just shrugs, the action causing their shoulders to brush against each other. Tooru adjusts the sheet covering him, raising it up above his navel, to cover himself more.

He adjusts the pillow under his head and exhales, closing his eyes.

“He wanted what I couldn't give to him and it cost him his life.”

Tooru's eyes fly open and he sits up abruptly, which causes his muscles to tense, causing his wounds to make him yelp and agitate, the one in his abdomen being the one that hurts more than the other.

Wakatoshi quickly pulls him down, forcing him on his back. His large hand immediately presses against his abdomen, where the bandages carefully guard the source of the pain and Tooru freezes.

“You... You killed him?”

Wakatoshi raises an eyebrow, and Tooru's breath hitches in his throat at their proximity. Wakatoshi's large arm is wrapped around him, his muscular chest pressed against his shoulder. “Do not move, Oikawa. You must let the wound close properly.”

“Answer my question.”

Wakatoshi sighs and then lets his head fall down on his pillow.

In the dim light provided by the moon, Tooru sees Wakatoshi's eyes look at the sleeping dragon next to the pool. “No, I didn't.”

And Tooru understands it all.

Wakatoshi keeps him warm for a while, until Tooru feels the pain disappear. When he turns over, facing him with his back, Tooru feels something akin to disappointment.

He moves a little bit further from Wakatoshi.

He doesn't sleep, hazel lost in black scales and gold for the rest of the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well... I finally managed to finish this! This is the last static chapter, so from the next one on, there will be more movements and stuff Oikawa and Ushijima will do. I can't wait to start to work on it.
> 
> Ushijima has finally started to speak more, though he is still very vague. That will be over soon, don't worry. And he also likes touching Oikawa (EVERYONE likes touching Oikawa), haha.
> 
> As for the rest, the flashback was painful to write. I love Suguru, but he is ust such a perfect villain for this story! I loved making him like that. I must be a bad person. A very bad person.
> 
> The rape scenes might be described sooner than I thought, so yeah, get ready for those. :( I already have some drafts prepared, and they are going to be detailed as much as possible. I'll put the warning at the beginning of the chapters for those, so those who don't want to read them can choose not to.
> 
> I don't think I have to say other things about this chapter. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you very much for all the Kudos, Comments and Bookmarks. I appreciate dearly every single one! I'll see you at the next update. :)


	5. Breathe to Heal My Burning Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ancalagon is a greedy beast.”
> 
> And then he apologizes. For his negligence.
> 
> The dragon growls on top of the gold, turning away, looking offended by its master's words.
> 
> “He will never allow anyone to take a single coin from him.”
> 
> Tooru listens to him talk about an old friend who almost lost his life the same way it almost happened to Tooru, and he shivers. But still, he forces a tight smile on his face and shrugs. “He only wants to protect what is his and what is mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the flashback of this chapter contains a Rape/Non Con scene. If you are not comfortable with the content, skip it.
> 
> No bashing will be tolerated about the contents of this fic. Before reading, check the warnings and carefully decide if you really want to read this or not.

As days go by, Tooru begins to feel better.

But with his health comes also the boredom. In a month that he's spent with Wakatoshi, he hasn't exited the cave either once. And as grateful as he is for being safe and sound (more or less), he can't help but feel like his head might explode if he only sees Wakatoshi and his dragon heading out again without him.

They returned a little while ago, and while Wakatoshi is preparing his meal, the dragon bathing in the pool, Tooru wanders around the cave, trying to figure out if there is any detail of it that he hasn't noticed.

Ultimately, his curiosity prevails on him and he walks towards the pile of diamonds and gold, bends and reaches a golden coin.

The moment he pulls it up, an aggressive roar echoes all over the place, and immediately the dragon is jumping out of the water, standing on the pile of treasure and is menacingly walking towards the injured. Tooru falls down on his back with a scream, but before the beast manages to approach him, Wakatoshi steps in, between them.

The beast is enraged and only glares at Tooru, opening his jaw and Tooru sees steam rising, coming out of its nose, hot light coming out of his throat and-

“Ancalagon!”

-and then there is silence.

And Wakatoshi once more speaks in that foreign language – Tooru must ask him to teach him, or at least translate to him what he tells to his dragon – and the beast lowers his head, red eyes piercing and dangerous.

“Drop it,” comes Wakatoshi's voice, muffled by the low growl coming from the giant beast.

Tooru understands and drops the coin, his heart frozen in his chest and a lump of the size of a fist stuck in his throat.

Once gold hits the ground, the beast snorts and turns around, lying down.

Tooru feels his cheeks burning and finally begins to breathe, even though his throat and lungs hurt like hell, his muscles tense, wounds aching. And then he feels release, and dry sobs begin to escape from his lips, until he lies down, legs to his chest, face hidden.

And he begins to cry.

Wakatoshi is soon behind him, pulling him up into a sitting position to check nothing is physically wrong with him. And all Tooru can do in his arms is wiggle until his face is hidden in Wakatoshi's chest as he cries. He hasn't cried ever since he was a child, even though there were moments when he should have. He didn't cry when his father was killed, when his mother was taken away, when he was beaten up, raped...

And now he does.

Wakatoshi stiffens underneath him, but he doesn't let go, and instead keeps holding him as he lets it all out, even though his shirt is soaked, even though his wrist is bleeding from Tooru's constant clawing. He stays still and Tooru moves them both, his shaking too violent to be healthy.

“Calm down,” Wakatoshi says at a certain point, but Tooru hears none of it. He repeats it, over and over, arms wrapping around the lean body and trying to still it. After struggles and struggles, he finally manages, and he finds Tooru clinging onto him even harder now, but this time he is not hurting him, having his arms hooked under Wakatoshi's, looking for some kind of stability the man's stillness seems to provide him.

“I... I'm sor-”

“Do not say that.”

Tooru shuts up and Wakatoshi buries his hand in messy, brown locks.

Eventually, Wakatoshi manages to bring him to the sleeping place, where he makes him drink liquid from another one of his bottles, and it tastes nothing like milk of the poppy. It is much more bitter, but pleasantly so.

“This should help you to relax.”

And it does.

Only later, when they sit together at the edge of the pool, their feet sunk into the warmth, does Wakatoshi tell him what he admits he should have told him the first day he brought him in.

“Ancalagon is a greedy beast.”

And then he apologizes. For his negligence.

The dragon growls on top of the gold, turning away, looking offended by its master's words.

“He will never allow anyone to take a single coin from him.”

Tooru listens to him talk about an old friend who almost lost his life the same way it almost happened to Tooru, and he shivers. But still, he forces a tight smile on his face and shrugs. “He only wants to protect what is his and what is mine.”

Wakatoshi pauses, his shoulders stiffing ever so slightly.

Tooru would be an idiot not to notice. And for an instant he is afraid that he might have said something very wrong. But then Wakatoshi sighs and gives him an imperceptible nod.

***

The next day, Wakatoshi once again leaves, this time when Tooru is already awake. And the fallen prince really wants to tell him to take him along, but something inside him prevents him from doing so.

So he remains alone.

At first he lies down, and then wanders around the cave some more. He doesn't feel confident to bathe without Wakatoshi around; his leg still gives him enough trouble to make him limp.

But then he spots it.

There is a fracture in the rocky walls, very deep, and Tooru can't resist his impetuous curiosity. After a little bit of thinking, he goes into it, finding himself following the dark path, his hands tentatively searching for support as he goes in deeper.

He is almost tempted to go back, when he suddenly spots something.

Light.

He finally manages to see other shades than black and he keeps going.

And then he finally steps into it, and his eyes widen when he realizes he is... outside. He is hesitant to reach further, but then, in the back of his mind, he thinks about the boredom of the cave and immediately moves.

There are trees, the beginning of a thick forest in front of him, and as he moves along the rocks, he finds out that a river begins from underneath the volcano, the water steaming and running fast. And as he looks up, he finds a bright blue, cloudless sky above himself, with a light he last remembers seeing properly when he still used to live at home, safe and sound.

The air is warm, but not thick; there is a light breeze, which makes Tooru's skin tingle, and all he wants to do is to stay here and enjoy it. So he does, limping weakly underneath the tree nearest to the water and letting himself fall between its roots. He exhales heavily and makes himself comfortable – moving his limbs freely, feeling wood and moss against his nape and back, the fresh grass under his bare feet... It feels better than any bed he's ever slept on.

He wants to keep looking at the place, but his body feels incredibly heavy. It is warmer in the cave and it has kind of gotten used to it, so the difference in the temperature is taking its toll on him (not that he minds).

There is silence and right now it's everything he needs.

***

“I did not know you wanted to go out,” Wakatoshi tells him after a bath, that same evening.

Tooru shrugs, looking away, a little bit embarrassed, because Wakatoshi came out of the cave worried, frantic. Tooru didn't notice him coming back, the shelter of the forest dense and impossible to see through. Tooru woke up with hands cupping his cheek, shaking him awake and he found wide gold eyes looking at him when he opened his own.

He apologized and told him his trouble.

“I... I just needed some fresh air. It's nice in here, but there isn't really much to do,” Tooru explains, standing in front of the man, once again wearing nothing, as Wakatoshi checks his wounds. The hematomas are almost completely gone, only a few previously more intense marks still painting Tooru's skin, as well as the minor cuts and bruises.

What is left is nothing compared to the last five years. And the worst wounds managed to close without any infections worsening the situations. If he could reach the spots, he would kiss them and then thank the Gods for pitying him enough to have mercy on him. Finally.

“This is much better,” Wakatoshi says, to Tooru, but to himself also. Tooru observes his expression, without any sign of feelings shown on it, but compared to the first days spent together, it appears much softer, his eyes lidded ever so slightly.

He had caught them a pair of quails for each and Tooru took less than fifteen minutes to devour his both. And he had also brought berries of all kinds of colors, for after eating.

It all left Tooru's stomach pleasantly full, but not feeling swollen.

Tooru feels grateful, but deep down he also feel guilty. Wakatoshi keeps going out of his way to help him out; he wakes up at night to calm him down, lower his fever and wake him up from the nightmares; he resists the punches Tooru throws his way before he is able to regain his consciousness and doesn't block them because he is too busy holding his hands in the right spots; and then the scene with the dragon, where he had to step in to protect a no one from his own loyal beast left a weird feeling in his gut. And, partially because of his constant nightmares, partially because of that, Tooru keeps getting less sleep at night.

“How are you feeling?”

Tooru tilts his head to the side, barely refraining a sigh when Wakatoshi's fingers brush over his abdomen.

“Fine. I'm just... tired.”

Wakatoshi looks at him and Tooru steps back, his eyes hesitantly wandering to the sleeping place. Wakatoshi doesn't ask questions, fortunately, because Tooru doesn't know what to say anymore.

They don't really talk much.

Only when Wakatoshi checks on him, or when Tooru asks him a question, or when he tries to make him calm down after waking up in the middle of the night.

Occasionally, when Tooru is in bed, he whispers a quiet goodnight to the man, and almost never offers him a good morning, because whenever he wakes up, Wakatoshi is already gone.

Tooru grabs some water for himself after Wakatoshi releases him, doesn't bother to dress up because he will be retreating as soon as he gets rid of his thirst.

Wakatoshi is already slipping among the fur and Tooru can't help but keep his eyes glued on those muscular shoulders and broad chest. He wonders just how much does that man train. His legs are strong, his abdominal muscles sculpted and hard-looking (sometimes, his mind plays tricks on him, urging him to touch them).

It is weird.

He is repelled by what has been done to him, and yet... there are times when he finds himself craving for someone's touch. And whenever Wakatoshi runs his hands over him, he can't help but wish for more, for those hands to go even lower.

But they never do.

Instead, memories of different, rougher hands appear in Tooru's mind and those are the times when he shakes his head, ashamed of himself; these thoughts make him sick. He is behaving like an addicted man and he should just... stop.

He puts down his cup and sighs.

The thought of having to sleep doesn't look appealing in the slightest.

***

“ _Yes, just like that... You are such a good boy, Tooru-chan.”_

_Tooru holds back a sob as he once again raises on his legs and then sinks back over Satori's cock. His thighs are aching, and the blindfold and gag restraining his senses are only making him feel the uncomfortable stretch in his ass, and the tight rope around his neck, pulling him towards the man sitting underneath him whenever he doesn't move enough. His arms are tied tightly behind his back, making him unable to move if not for what Satori has ordered him to do._

_They are in the guard's room, Satori comfortably sitting on his bed, with his back resting comfortably against the pillow set against the headboard._

_Suguru had Tooru sent to his chambers after Satori once again managed to complete a mission flawlessly, as a present to “Enjoy as much as you want, Satori.”_

_Tooru gets shivers down his spine once Satori's free hand travels to his back and then gets lower to cup his buttock, those long fingers clawing into the skin until it stings._

_He doesn't know for how long Satori's been fucking him mercilessly now, but he sure knows just how much he loves hurting him, how much he loves using minimal lubrication and prepare him just enough to be able to fit inside of him so his tears spill out and his voice is cut short._

“ _I'm gonna fill you up so nicely, Tooru-chan. I bet you can't wait for it, can you?”_

_Tooru bites the fabric stuffing his mouth and nods ever so slightly, because he knows from great experience what will happen if he doesn't._

“ _Such a good boy,” comes as a breathy groan._

_And then Satori comes, Tooru resists the urge to throw up as Satori fills him up with hot sperm, pushing inside of him until their hips are meeting, until his cock is as deep as it can be. He feels it throbbing, and his stomach drops, his head falling forward, his face now buried into the pillows._

_When Satori finishes, he pulls out, shoving Tooru on his side on the soft bed._

_Tooru doesn't manage to breathe through his nose once before he is abruptly flipped onto his stomach and adjusted on his knees so his ass is up._

_Satori isn't holding the rope around his neck anymore, but still, Tooru can't bring himself to move, his body boneless, feeling like goo. Both of those callused hands are now on his buttocks, spreading them and revealing his gaping hole, the semen coming out of it slowly._

“ _What a magnificent view, Tooru-chan.”_

_Tooru lets out a muffled sound as a rough thumb slips in._

“ _Let's make it even better now, shall we?”_

_-_

Tooru opens his eyes, his breath stuck in his throat.

His eyelids are heavy, and his body is tense, and there is darkness everywhere. He sits up and feels sick, his stomach messing around with him. But before its contents are able to raise and come out of him, there is a hand on his shoulder and a glass handed to him when he turns around.

He quietly drinks the contents and it feels better.

It was all just a nightmare, a distant memory.

Wakatoshi stays awake, his hand on top of Tooru's boiling forehead, until he falls asleep.

***

Wakatoshi takes Tooru with him the next day. He tells him he brought him some fresh clothes the day before, clothes that fit him, bought just for him.

“You didn't have to,” Tooru tells him, because Wakatoshi's clothes were just fine for him, although a little large in certain areas. But Wakatoshi tells him he should be comfortable, own something his. Tooru just shuts his mouth and feels like crying.

When approaching Ancalagon, Tooru is careful, hesitant. The beast only looks at Wakatoshi, and Wakatoshi is motioning for the prince to follow him.

They both climb onto the beast without any problems, and Tooru can't believe the beast is acting as if nothing had happened between them. His hands find their way to the beast's quills – Wakatoshi doesn't like to make it wear the saddle when they don't have to fly for a long time.

Soon, Wakatoshi is pressed against his back, his strong legs bent slightly forward to secure Tooru's thighs and then he is commanding him, and they raise up, out of the crater and into the open space.

The weather is beautiful today as well.

But then... Shiratorizawa is the land of eternal spring. Wakatoshi had told him, one night, when trying to comfort him and forget about his nightmares, that the worst that can happen are occasional storms.

It is Tooru's second time riding the dragon, but it is the first time he can really admire the view around him without being blinded by the pain. And now he is finally able to see the huge extension of the forest, the mountains in the background, the rivers...

They fly above villages and towns and Tooru is relieved to know that Shiratorizawa is not just a desert island. He spots a castle as well, further away, isolated, but the gardens and buildings around it are the most beautiful he's ever seen. And Aobajōsai used to be the kingdom praised by everyone for its wonders.

Sure, it is, _was_ (Tooru isn't sure) beautiful.

But this is a different kind of beauty, one for which Tooru can't find words fitting enough.

The dragon roars and lowers slightly, Tooru feeling the air in his face and he can't help but laugh.

He sees birds of all kinds flying in the sky; some he only ever managed to see illustrated in the books he used to read as a child. Needless to say, illustrations don't do them justice.

Wakatoshi's hand slides on Tooru's hip, pressing against it. Then, another command in that unknown language and they are landing. Tooru sees a giant field underneath them, confining with the forest – for some reasons, it reminds him of the place where Wakatoshi found him, but it is not it.

The landing is smooth, and Wakatoshi praises the dragon, gently sliding his gloved hands over its scales.

They get off, and Tooru's legs feel wobbly. Only when he is standing on his own legs, does he realize that for the whole ride to this place, he had been tense. He lets himself fall on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Wakatoshi asks, then.

“Yeah. It's just nice to be outside.”

Wakatoshi raises an eyebrow and then nods. “I shall go hunting. We could eat here if you'd like,” he tells him, and Tooru eagerly nods, about to stand up.

But then Wakatoshi raises his hand. “No.”

Tooru blinks. “Huh?”

“You are not fully healed yet. I can not have you run around behind animals yet,” Wakatoshi explains, expression stern and demanding Tooru not to complain or try to protest.

Tooru opens his mouth, then closes it. He sighs.

“You will stay here with Ancalagon.”

Tooru pauses.

His heart stops beating for a moment and he can feel every drop of his blood freeze in his veins. His eyes grow wide, so wide they start to burn.

“What?”

He looks at the dragon, who is currently busy sniffing the air, trying to trace God knows what.

Tooru shakes his head. This beast wanted to kill him for taking a hold of its coin. Had that happened when Wakatoshi wasn't around, he would have been dead. His hands shake more than usual and he can feel his knees growing weak.

Wakatoshi doesn't fail to notice that, and he immediately takes a step closer, taking a hold of Tooru's wrist to prevent him to retreat even further.

“He will not harm you.”

“You can't know that...”

Wakatoshi's eyes narrow.

“I can. I _do_.”

Tooru shuts his mouth, realizing he just accused Wakatoshi of not knowing his own dragon, but he can't help but be afraid. Terrified.

He had wanted to die for five years now.

But after receiving this little glimpse of hope, where he can survive and live like a human being once more... He doesn't want to die anymore.

Tooru lets himself collapse on his knees on the grass, ignoring the stab he feels in his right leg. He looks away and waits until Wakatoshi lets go of his wrist. The man then turns around to face the dragon and he speaks to it, the creature watching him, listening to him constantly.

“Oikawa, look at me,” Wakatoshi commands and Tooru obeys, his body growing pliant at the sound of that deep voice. Somehow, he lets himself get convinced, though the conversation doesn't really leave a mark. He doesn't hear any of the talking, he just stares at the man's mouth, watching it move and say words his ears don't hear.

At the end, Wakatoshi lets him go, turning towards the forest.

Tooru's eyes are now glued on that broad back, on the shirt barely covering the shape of those defined muscles, on the arms holding a bow and arrows.

“I shall be back as soon as I hunt down a couple of preys.”

“Yeah,” Tooru mumbles and watches him disappear behind the trees.

He really wants to follow him.

When Wakatoshi is gone, Tooru feels his breathing stop. His eyes begin to sting as he turns to advert his eyes on the black dragon, which is standing tall and mighty above him, those red eyes piercing into him.

“If you want to kill me, do it before he returns,” Tooru speaks. “And don't make it painful. I've had enough of that.”

The beast only grunts and turns around, walking to the edge of the field, near the trees, where it lies down and exhales.

Tooru lets it go, his eyes watching it move, slowly and heavily, but at the same time so elegantly.

Once the dread leaves, Tooru begins to think.

Wakatoshi is gone hunting and he is once again doing nothing. He can't help but remember when he used to do on hunting trips with his father, how no one was left without doing nothing, and now, even though he is injured more than badly, he feels useless.

He promises himself, as soon as he gets better, he'll make up for it. He will do whatever it takes. But he will make up for it.

He shifts on the grass, until he is no longer kneeling, but sitting. And he stays still, watching the beast lying meters away from him, not paying him any attention. Tooru stays still for a long time – he is not sure for how much exactly, but he doesn't move.

Until his muscles begin to hurt and his lower back to feel sore and he is forced to stand up to stretch.

He looks around, at all the trees surrounding him; the air is humid, but pleasantly so and he swears he can feel the smell of water somewhere. The weather is hot and dry, and soon his throat begins to feel sore, aching to be freshened up with water. He can't believe he forgot to take the water sack Wakatoshi had given him before they left the cave.

He begins to walk towards the place his senses are leading him to, but he doesn't make it in time to reach the closest tree, that it comes down in fire, the black dragon jumping in front of him and roaring.

Tooru gasps, falling back, and finds Ancalagon's nose close to him, those red eyes glaring.

He shakes his head and stands up, despite the intimidating growl he receives.

Then, there is silence, and for a long while the two only stare at each other, until the smoke coming from the burnt trees becomes thicker and heavier to bear, and Tooru coughs, feeling the burning enter his mouth and crawl through his throat, until his lungs are poisoned and feel scratchy.

He needs to drink.

He tries to move past the dragon, but the beast follows him, not letting him be able to move out of the clear field where they landed before. But the need to breathe is incredible, and Tooru finds himself soon bringing his hands to his face, covering his mouth and nose and steps back, looking for another way out, ignoring the burning in his eyes.

The dragon stands in front of him, unmoving.

And for a moment, Tooru doesn't know what to do.

“Let me go.”

Ancalagon only groans.

“I need to drink something or I'll choke...”

Tooru curses and tries to move towards the forest once more, and the dragon is immediately in front of him.

“I need to drink right now... You stupid creature, I told you not to make me suffer if you want me dead.”

The dragon clearly doesn't understand his words and Tooru finds himself losing his strength, his eyes now shut for the overwhelming pain. His lungs are in pain, and he finds himself lowering on his legs, until he is once again in a sitting position.

He waits.

Until the oxygen in his system runs out of its purity and he is forced to lie down.

Only then, does the dragon seem to realize his needs. It immediately brings its head to him, nudging him with its nose. Tooru keeps his eyes closed, trying desperately to inhale some fresh air, but it is hard. The dragon lets out a high-pitched noise and nudges him once more, until Tooru finally looks at it and understands.

He raises on his feet slowly, careful at what the dragon might do.

But it does nothing. Instead, it moves its head, motioning into a direction not consumed by fire and it takes a moment for Tooru to realize its intentions. But when he does, he takes a step forward. And then another, and another again, and then he realizes the beast isn't going to stop him.

Instead, when he is already past the trees and there is distance between the two of them, the best follows him, quietly this time.

Maybe, Tooru thinks, it realized it made a mistake. That fire breath could have killed him or wounded him very badly, and he highly doubts Wakatoshi's earlier orders permitted that.

They walk for a while, and Tooru's leg begins to hurt, but he is too thirsty to stop now. The dragon keeps an eyes on him, and guides him towards the place where Tooru's senses were directing him to in the beginning. In fact, he finds out he was right. After a short while, Tooru starts to hear the distant sound of water splashing and as they approach, he sees a waterfall and its river.

His jaw drops open ever so slightly, and, despite the pain in his right leg, he runs towards the clear water, immediately kneeling down to put a hand inside.

Unlike the water in Wakatoshi's cave, the water here is fresh and cool and immediately, he jumps in where he sees he can touch. The flow isn't fast and he can maintain his balance very easily. His clothes soak slowly and stick to his body, but it doesn't matter, because all the wounds underneath are immediately relieved.

Tooru lets out a content sigh, throwing his head back as he sits on one of the rocks.

Then, he drinks.

Using his hands to bring the water in his mouth doesn't really allow him to take in as much as he'd like, but he takes his time. Slowly, his senses come back to him and his throat begins to feel less and less itchy, until it is alright again.

His knee throbs painfully, but it feels much better than when he puts it inside the pool in the cave. Sure, Wakatoshi always tell him not to, and to put ice on it instead, but Tooru just can't resist that place. He stands up on his feet quickly, stepping onto the shore and then removing his wet clothes. He places them neatly on the ground under the sun, before he returns in the cool water.

His eyes lower onto the remains of the bruises on his chest and stomach, and he worriedly looks at the healing wound on his abdomen. It will leave a nasty scar, one he will bear for all his life, an ugly reminder of the worst period of his life. He tentatively runs his fingers over it, and hisses at the sting that runs through him, despite the dulling effect of the water.

His other hand goes to his leg and when he feels his muscles tense at the mere contact, he slowly starts to massage them.

It takes a long time for them to loosen up and relax, and when they do, Tooru throws his head back, exhaling heavily.

He closes his eyes.

He lets his world be dark for a long time, and when he finally looks again, he sees a large shadow cast over him. He looks up and finds the dragon standing above him, its long neck leaning forward as it drinks the cool water as well. Tooru watches it, for the first time feeling relieved and relaxed, sure the beast won't harm him.

Finally.

Later, the dragon lies down behind him, and Tooru doesn't need to turn around to be aware of their closeness, because the beast's heat is enough to make him feel comfortable and oddly safe from everything around him. When he turns around, he finds the beast blowing steam from its nose and towards his clothes, and he can see the humidity leave them.

Tooru exhales, resting his forearms after turning around on the edge of the river and his head on them, allowing his body to be led by the slow stream.

They quietly sit there and Tooru feels his eyelids once again drop.

He doesn't know how much time goes by, but eventually he feels a warm wetness on his head and finds the dragon gently nudging it with its nose, as if waking him up from a hypothetical slumber.

He looks up and finds it looking towards the place where they came from.

“Is he back already?” Tooru asks and immediately sees the beast stand up.

Tooru tilts his head to the side. It's impossible that Wakatoshi is done with his hunt... But then, he realizes, they haven't been here for only a little. He believes he fell asleep in the water at some point.

Tooru gets up and exits the river, retrieving his clothes, finding them still warm from the dragon's steam. He wears them even though he is still wet, and then proceeds the follow Ancalagon's lead. As he walks next to it, however, he notices a weird oddness in its posture. The wings are tightly held at its size, and it's head doesn't stand up and proud as always, but instead its nose is tilted downwards.

Tooru raises an eyebrow, but then decides not to pay too much mind to it.

When they return to the place where they parted with Wakatoshi, they find him already standing there, staring at the burnt tree. Tooru gasps when he finds water all over the place, having obviously extinguished the fire. But one man couldn't do that, not even a group of them, so how is it possible?

“U-ushiwaka-chan?”

The man turns around and his gold eyes widen ever so slightly. Tooru notices the grip holding onto the dead animals tighten before he finally moves towards them. The dragon instinctively takes a step back, and Tooru finally figures out what this is about.

Before Wakatoshi is able to speak, he interrupts him: “Sorry for making you wait.”

Wakatoshi looks at him, those eyes piercing into Tooru's. “Where were you? You are soaked.”

Tooru licks his lips. “I was thirsty. I bribed Ancalagon into bringing me to a source of water so he led me to a river nearby and then I ended up staying there to bathe.” He decides not to mention he almost choked to death because of the smoke, or that at first the dragon almost killed him by blowing fire right past him.

Wakatoshi sighs and then looks at his hand. “Shall we return to the cave? It is too hot for the meat to stay uncooked for too long.”

Tooru feels his stomach growl quietly and smiles. Then, a sudden wave of boldness washes over him. “Actually... Could we eat outside? I... I kind of like staying here. And the cool water helped out with my knee...” It is a simple request, but Tooru still feels uneasy about it. He wasn't allowed to ask for things during his years of imprisonment.

Wakatoshi looks at him for a long time, without speaking, and for a moment Tooru thinks he might be asking much, so he opens his mouth, but Wakatoshi raises his hands.

“I understand. Shall we go there? You can rest as I prepare the food.”

Tooru feels relief spreading in his chest and nods.

The rest of the day they spend outside. Tooru sits in the water while Wakatoshi skins the preys and cooks them on the fire Ancalagon puts on following Wakatoshi's instructions. When the sun goes down, the food is ready and they sit close to the fire to eat. Tooru puts on his clothes despite being soaked to the bone, and when he shivers with the light evening breeze, Wakatoshi removes his own cloak and wraps it over his shoulders.

He then sits a meter away from him, cutting the meat in pieces.

He hands Tooru his portion and the latter thanks him quietly.

He wants to ask him whether he knows how that tree stopped burning without bringing a piece of the forest down with it, but something tells him not to. Maybe later or tomorrow, he will. Right now, the warmth provided by the fireplace makes him wrap the cloak around himself tighter as he fills his stomach to his content.

They talk a little, Tooru wanting to know about the hunt, while also telling him facts from he was a child and went with his own father.

They keep talking even as they finish and somehow, Tooru finds himself dozing off thanks to the calming sound of Wakatoshi's voice. He soon finds himself lying on the soft grass, holding onto the cloak tightly with both hands.

“Oikawa,” Wakatoshi calls as he approaches him.

Tooru opens his eyes and tries to sit up, but Wakatoshi holds him down.

“You do not have to move.”

Tooru shakes his head. “But we have to go back. I can manage to ride. It's not that far anyway.”

Wakatoshi shakes his head gently, still holding his hands against Tooru's shoulders. “We can spend the night outside.”

Tooru blinks, sleepily. “But isn't there the risk of being attacked by mercenaries or robbers? I mean... We are not in a city, not even close to it, nor have anything valuable on ourselves.”

Wakatoshi once again shakes his head. “Do not worry about it.”

Tooru glances at the dragon sitting lying in the darkness, the only thing visible of it being his red, glazing eyes. “I suppose no one would approach us with him here...” he mumbles sleepily. Wakatoshi tilts his head to the side. “Ancalagon is not the only dragon on this island. There are plenty of them.”

Tooru's eyes widen as he sits up. “What?”

Wakatoshi stands up and then walks away, sitting between the roots of a tree, looking immediately comfortable, as if he knew exactly where to sit. Tooru keeps looking at him, bewildered.

When he was a child, there were always dozens of guards watching over his and his father's tents. He can't help but feel his stomach clench at the remote thought of being abused all over again. Or even worse...

Wakatoshi seems to notice the rush of thoughts circulating in his mind, because he speaks once more, this time explaining it all. “Shiratorizawa is a rich land. Every single man and woman have the possibility to work and have a stable life. There is no need for robbery here, nor there is the kind of mentality here to push a man to hurt others for their own pleasure. As for the dragons, they do not harm humans. So trust me, we are safe.”

With that, he leans back and closes his eyes.

Tooru takes in a deep breath, holds it for a while, and then lets it out.

He stands up, on shaky legs and uneasy feelings and slowly walks over to the man. He finds gold looking up at him, now much brighter because of the light of the fireplace. Tooru holds his breath as he lowers down and next to him, wincing a little when one of the roots presses awkwardly against his leg.

Wakatoshi doesn't ask him what he is doing when he shifts around, but eventually, he finds a comfortable position and lies down, an arm under his head.

“Sorry, but I can't feel easy about this.” And Wakatoshi reassures him. Not verbally. He doesn't say anything even after Tooru covers them both with the large cloak. But his presence is more than enough to allow Tooru's muscles to relax.

As his eyelids drop, Tooru doesn't hold himself back.

The cold breeze sure makes the night chillier and soon enough, his head is not resting on his arm anymore, but on Wakatoshi's thigh as he presses against him.

“Oikawa?”

Tooru hears his voice, but he barely registers it. Instead, he buries his face in the strong, clothed muscle of Wakatoshi's leg.

He wants to ask Wakatoshi to tell him more. About Shiratorizawa and the dragons, about the ruler of this place, about the people... He really wants to know.

But all he can do right now is exhale heavily as he wraps his arms around the man who saved him only a couple of weeks ago.

And despite the darkness and the dead silence, he feels alright.

That night, the nightmares don't come.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!
> 
> I'm so sorry for the extremely late update.
> 
> The last six weeks have been hell for me. I am dealing with depression and lack of motivation to do pretty much anything, and writing and drawing have been the last things on my mind. My friends were, still are trying to help me out, but when I get like this, it's really hard to get me out of it.
> 
> I don't really like to talk about it, but I wanted you to at least know the reason why I'm not updating. I am so sad that I'm wasting my summer like this, crying all over myself all the time, but I just can't help it.
> 
> I will not abandon my works however. Even if I will have to stick with writing only a line or two a day because I am simply not capable of more. 
> 
> I really wanted to make up for it, so I added 1500+ words more into this chapter. I really hope you enjoy it and I apologize once again.
> 
> ***
> 
> As you might have noticed in the Note at the beginning, there is a rape scene in the flashback. Now, since there have been unfortunate writers (hugs to all those poor babies!!) who had to deal with people's wrath and insults because "OMG, you write rape, you are horrible," I am immediately telling you that if you even remotely think about saying the same things to me, your comment will be deleted without a reply or explanation on my part.
> 
> Please understand that this is a fic, not reality.
> 
> If you have problems with these contents, then this fic is not for you.
> 
> Thank you very much.
> 
> ***
> 
> All Comments, Bookmarks and Kudos are very appreciated. I'll see you at the next update (if I don't die first...)


	6. Fleeing Nightmares and Everlasting Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru hopes he continues. He wants to know more about him – possibly also find something to do for him in return, a way to thank him properly for everything he's doing for him.
> 
> Wakatoshi waits a long time before answering, and his eyes are now, for the first time truly lost, somewhere in the distance.
> 
> “The last time I came here, Shirabu died.”
> 
> Tooru's heart stops.
> 
> Oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the flashback of this chapter contains a Rape/Non Con scene. If you are not comfortable with the content, skip it.
> 
> No bashing will be tolerated about the contents of this fic. Before reading, check the warnings and carefully decide if you really want to read this or not.

When Tooru wakes up, the sun is still low and there is only a little light illuminating his surroundings.

Tooru looks up at Wakatoshi, who hasn't moved at all during the night, while he himself is pretty much spread all over those strong legs, the cloak still wrapped around both of them.

Tooru's eyelids are heavy, but he can't bring himself to fall asleep again, so, after blinking a few times, he manages to gather a little strength to sit up. The amount of light confuses him a bit, but then he remembers the night before, the river and the fire and Ancalagon... He remembers talking to Wakatoshi and falling asleep next to him under the night sky.

The air is still chilly, the fireplace since long put out and the only sounds Tooru hears are the crashing of the waterfall next to them and the singing of early birds.

Wakatoshi is still sleeping, so quietly that for one second Tooru believes he's dead. He finds it strange – he's never woken up before him, so this sight is kind of new to him. He takes his time to observe his peaceful expression: the closed eyes, furrowed eyebrows the lightly parted lips and that defined jaw. This is what his savior looks like when completely vulnerable.

Tooru takes in every detail and when he memorizes it all, he looks away, feeling heat spread in his chest. It's kind of weird, but Tooru can't really say it's unwelcome.

Still, he prefers to look elsewhere.

Strangely, he feels rested.

He spots Ancalagon lying not too far from them, his head raised and red eyes staring at him. Tooru's lips curve up and he nods at it. “Good morning, Ancalagon-chan.”

The dragon puffs through his nose, greeting him back and when Tooru stands up, so does he. Tooru stretches pleasantly sore muscles and then takes a few steps towards the water, until he is able to see his blurry reflection in it. The dragon approaches it to drink and only then does Tooru finally hear shifting behind him.

“Oikawa.”

Tooru turns around. “Oh, you're awake!”

Wakatoshi nods.

Tooru walks back to him and observes the way Wakatoshi's eyes follow his every move. “Did you sleep well?” he asks him – after all, Wakatoshi has spent the whole night sitting against a tree, in a position Tooru most certainly wouldn't find comfortable.

“Yes.”

Wakatoshi stands up and Tooru is surprised when he doesn't hear bones cracking at the release.

They eat the remains of their dinner and, while waiting for Tooru to freshen up, Wakatoshi spends some time with Ancalagon, speaking to it and running large hands over those black scales.

Later, he joins Tooru in the river and the latter can't help but ask him what's been bothering him for the whole morning.

“Ne, Ushiwaka-chan, can I ask you something?”

Wakatoshi nods and Tooru bites his lip.

“How many times did I wake up last night?” His night terrors usually take a huge toll on him, and in the mornings he always finds himself not knowing what the night before was like. Unfortunately, the exhaustion never seems to leave his body like his memories leave his mind. "I just don't remember..."

“None.”

Tooru's eyes widen. “What?”

Wakatoshi looks at him and Tooru can see the lack of sharpness in his look, replaced by something akin to relief, but Tooru can't exactly find a word to put on it. “You slept through the night peacefully. It was not required to wake you up at all.”

Tooru's jaw drops. Then he closes his mouth, because he probably looks dumb.

“I...”

He doesn't remember the last time he slept without being disturbed by the abuse of his kidnappers, so this is kind of a new feeling. He likes it. He glances at Wakatoshi and finds him washing himself quietly, lost in his own thoughts. He remembers when Wakatoshi brought him to his cave two weeks ago, the way he was afraid that he was going to be harmed, or sold...

But now he finally feels like he can breathe easily. And he does, unconsciously, let out a breath before leaning back.

It is nice, he thinks.

He shifts a little closer to Wakatoshi, but not enough to touch him.

The warm feeling in his chest only grows.

***

As days go by, the nightmares become rarer, until they completely disappear.

Unfortunately, the memories don't.

There are days when they hit Tooru harder than usual, and those days he always spends wandering around, fidgeting and not being able to find a place where he can stay still and relaxed.

Today, he paces nervously around the cave, eyes lost in the ground, but he doesn't really see any of it. His teeth are chewing angrily at his bottom lip, to the point where he begins to taste blood; his hands tremble like leafs and his legs feel weak and shaky.

His wounds ache even though they are closed, his right knee throbs in pain.

But he ignores it all.

***

“ _Please, stop!”_

_He screams at the top of his lungs, but the hungry soldiers around him don't stop. One holds him still as two of them proceed to tear Tooru's thin clothes to shreds, throwing the fabric on the cold, stony ground and forgetting them there._

_There are hands all over Tooru's body after they push him down, making him fall on his face and then pulling him up so he is kneeling._

_Tooru can feel rough fingers spreading his legs and he tries to shake them off, tries to punch them with his arms. He succeeds, and his fist lands into Sakijima's face, but he doesn't manage to take a breath that the man makes it all escape his lungs with a punch to his stomach that forces him down once more._

_Tooru coughs, his body in searing pain with every little movement, but then he is pulled up again._

“ _You really don't know your place, dear prince,” Sakijima says snickering and when Tooru grunts in response, he slaps him. “First you try to escape, then you hit me even though you are at a clear disadvantage... Are you sure you want to make your current situation even worse?”_

_Tooru grits his teeth, looking away._

_He feels large hands push him forward, until he is supporting his weight on hands and knees and his eyes watch as Sakijima takes a hold of his pants and lowers them enough to reveal his cock, already hard and waiting to use the prisoner beneath him._

_He takes a hold of Tooru's chin and leans down until their faces are only inches apart._

“ _If you bite me, I'll make sure you are taken to Kiyoshi-san for two weeks.”_

_Tooru feels his heart stop for a moment._

_He's already been to_ that _brothel._

_And he remembers begging for mercy after only a day._

_He can't survive there for two weeks._

_He swallows all the saliva in his mouth and then opens it, slowly, sticking his tongue out and inviting the soldier in front of him to use it._

“ _Good,” Sakijima mumbles before bringing his cock to Tooru's mouth and letting the latter take him in. Tooru has learned, in the past year, how his captors want him to use his body – he's got enough beating up and kicking to correct what they don't like._

_He relaxes his jaw and uses his tongue, lapping along the shaft, breathing through his nose and looking up._

_Behind him, he feels Hiroo already fingering him open quickly, roughly, making choked moans and gasps escape his mouth. When he enters him, Tooru pulls away to breathe and the next thing he knows-feels it a strong slap against his cheek, which forces his head to turn, his eyes to tear._

_Then, Sakijima grabs his hair and looks down upon him. “Who told you to stop?”_

_Tooru says nothing and resumes where he stopped, trying to control himself and the jolts in his spine whenever Hiroo rubs against his prostate._

_The others watch and take turn fucking him, always hard and fast until they spill inside of his mouth or guts. And then, after they recover, they do it all again. Whenever Tooru begs for a break, he is met with slaps and then he is fucked more._

_He loses count of the times he throws up, the times when his senses blur, when he feels like fainting._

_Other soldiers join in as well and Tooru finds himself having trouble breathing._

_The room is dark, only lit by a few candles in the corners, giving him no view of his surrounding, nothing else to focus on as his body is used and abused and hurting._

“ _You are growing loose down here, Prince,” Seguro groans from underneath him, his hands clawing into Tooru's buttocks, spreading them apart to give his cock a better access to his dripping hole. Tooru feels so overwhelmed by everything – he is bloated, with his stomach ready to flip itself over any time, but his mouth if full with Akama's cock, his hair pulled._

“ _Oi, Kuguri, what are you doing?” he hears Takachiho asking and he doesn't manage to turn around and see the soldier kneeling behind him, but he feels the touch on his shoulders, sliding down his back until his hands are on his buttocks as well._

_Then, he feels the man's heavy cock drop on top of his lower back and the realization is instant. And he pulls away from Akama, ready to throw himself somewhere aside and away from Kuguri. He still doesn't understand him. He rarely does anything to him, but he is the one he is worried about the most. Unfortunately, Takachiho is ready for his move and wraps his arms around his back, pulling him into his own chest, leaving his ass exposed, fucking him slowly now, waiting for his friend to decide what to do next._

_Tooru feels something cool pour all over his entrance and struggles some more, but then, there is more pressure. His hips wriggle in discomfort and once the swollen cock head of the new intruder is in, he screams loudly. But Kuguri doesn't stop. Instead, he keeps easing his way in until he is fully seated inside of him._

_Tooru's body spasms because of the pain, and he feels the muscles of his insides tearing and hurting and he just wants it to stop._

“ _P-ple-please. Pull out...” he says, voice hoarse and broken._

_For a little while, everything is still, but it doesn't last long enough for Tooru to completely get used to the painful intrusion, because the two grow impatient and proceed to move. First, it is a slow pace, but it quickly turns faster and stronger, until they are rocking Tooru's body against themselves, ignoring the pleas and cries of the latter._

“ _I-it hurts... P-please...”_

_The tightness of his hole doesn't allow them to last long, and soon there are two more loads filling him up. When Kuguri pulls out and stands, the others look at him._

_He merely shrugs as he adjusts his pants back up, covering himself. “You said he is loose. I merely offered a solution.”_

_Takachiko blinks and then glances at the limp body on top of him before sliding out of him as well. As he pushes Tooru off himself, he notices white drops on his stomach and grins._

“ _Did you just come after having two cocks up your ass?” he asks, and Tooru wants to deny it, but instead he pulls his legs to his chest and hides hid face, his muscles still trembling and quivering._

_It is usually very rare – if not impossible – for Tooru to reach an orgasm when being fucked by his captors, unless there are drugs in play or a particular overstimulation of his prostate, which force him to reach his peek untouched. This time it was all the pain's work._

_Tooru feels himself hitting the floor, his immediate reaction to bring his legs to his body and his arms covering his face._

_He feels footsteps approaching him and then arms grabbing him violently, ready to pull him up, and he lets out a loud and desperate cry, sure he won't be able to take another dose of_ that.

_It is then that the door slams open and everybody stops moving, Tooru once again dropped down, his body melting and giving up._

“ _Time's up, guys!”_

_Satori's loud voice echoes in the entire room, bouncing off the walls and echoing in Tooru's head. He dares to look up only after a few seconds, when he realizes nobody is even close to him right now._

_Satori walks to him as the others dress up, throws a heavy blanket on top of him, before lowering on his legs to wrap it around Tooru's shoulders and pulling him up into an awkward sitting position. Tooru winces at every move of his hips, holding his head low, body shaking._

“ _So,” Satori begins with his head tilted to the side, “Do you have anything to say?”_

_Tooru stops breathing._

_Satori's hand travels to his skin, those long fingers dancing on it gently – Tooru finds it almost ironic._

“ _S-sorry.”_

 _He can_ feel _the grin on the red-head's face. “I can't hear you, Tooru-chan.”_

“ _I... I'm sorry.”_

“ _For what?”_

“ _For trying to run away.”_

_Satori chuckles, his hand cupping Tooru's cheek and squeezing it. “Are you gonna do it again?”_

_Tooru doesn't answer immediately, his eyes lost somewhere on his own bruised skin. He wants to collapse – maybe that way he wouldn't be able to feel the searing pain shooting through every fiber of his body._

_The slap that follows his silence makes his neck feel like it is about to snap, but he holds back his voice until another chance is given to him._

_The other soldiers exit the room, one by one, until there are only him and Satori. “Are you gonna do it again?” the latter repeats, his voice lower than before, more serious._

_Tooru shakes his head._

“ _N-no.”_

_Satori praises him for his answer, then pulls him up, wrapping his arm around his waist and making sure Tooru is holding onto him. Tooru still doesn't understand where all the strength comes from when it comes to his captors. None of them is particularly tall OR muscular, and yet they are stronger than him, able to manipulate him and use him anyway they want._

“ _You know you are never leaving this place.”_

_Unconsciously, Tooru leans more of his weight onto Satori, earning an amused hum – and thankfully no other comment._

_Satori makes him sit in the tub in his bedroom after shooing away all the maidens and squires;he washes him himself, scrubs away all the sweat and dried blood on pale skin. Strangely enough, when running over Tooru's fresh wounds, he doesn't press hard, doesn't make it impossible to bear._

“ _They gave you quite a beating up before fucking you, didn't they?”_

 _And, as he nods, Tooru remembers all the backs of the swords, the fists and the whips after he was caught. He remembers Suguru's glare as he commanded his King's guard to give him a proper_ lesson _for his actions._

_At a certain point, Satori slides in the tub as well, and he takes a hold of Tooru, ignoring the way he stiffens, and turns him around until he is seated in his lap. Tooru shudders when he touches his chest and abdomen and then goes lower to spread his legs. He feels his cock growing hard against his lower back and he nibbles against his nape, leaving another dark mark on him._

“ _Please, don't...”_

_Unfortunately, Satori's never been a good listener._

_***_

“Oikawa?”

Tooru winces slightly, his eyes growing wide. He blinks a few times then, focusing on Wakatoshi's face, on the gold eyes that are piercing into his. He opens his mouth, but then closes it.

Wakatoshi's both hands frame his face, looking for the signs of a fever, but there is none.

“Are you alright?”

When Tooru fails to answer, Wakatoshi understands. He knows about the memories, about their control on the fallen prince's mind. Tooru told him everything about them – there is no point, really, to keep them a secret. Wakatoshi always succeeds to help him.

He stays still in front of Tooru until he is able to breathe normally.

Then, he speaks.

“Have you ever seen been to the sea?”

Tooru raises an eyebrow – he doesn't really expect a question of the sort. “I... Only in the illustrations, I'm afraid.” When Wakatoshi keeps looking at him, Tooru proceeds to explain further. “Aobajōsai is very far from the sea – as a prince, I wasn't allowed to travel long distances, as I had to be kept safe from hypothetical enemies. The capital and some closest surroundings are everything I've ever seen pretty much.”

Wakatoshi listens to his every word, gold lost in hazel until the explanation is over. Tooru looks at him and once again feels himself drawn to his savior, waiting for any word to slip past his lips, to tell him anything.

“Would you like to go?”

Tooru's breath hitches in his throat.

“You mean right now?”

Wakatoshi nods slightly. “The weather is ideal for the beach, as it isn't too windy. Also, the salty water shall do good to your wounds, now that they are fully closed.”

Tooru has read and heard about the salty water, but he still has difficulties imagining it. It's not that he is skeptical about everything, but he likes to have proof to support what he is told or what he is about to learn.

“I would like to go,” he says.

He allows Wakatoshi to pull him up on his feet. With the corner of his eye, he sees Ancalagon standing up from his pile of treasure, wings spread, ready to take them wherever they want. But this time, Tooru doesn't pay it much attention, Wakatoshi being the only one he has eyes for.

***

The first thing Tooru finds out when his feet bring him into the water up to his waist is a very obvious one for some people. But not for him.

“It really _is_ salty!”

Behind him, Wakatoshi sits on the sand, watching over him. “You should not drink that water, Oikawa,” he tells him, getting the bottle of potable water ready for him.

Tooru doesn't look at him, and instead only raises and waves his hand to dismiss it – though he doesn't drink it again. He goes in deeper, hissing when the salt reacts with his wounds; even though they are all already dried, they still sting. Tooru kind of finds himself wondering just how much it would hurt if his wounds were fresh.

When he dives in, Wakatoshi retreats to a shaded place, under a tall tree, and waits as Tooru swims and relaxes. When he steps out, Wakatoshi hands him a large cloth, which he wraps around himself and then sits next to the rider.

“How are your wounds?”

Tooru shrugs slightly. “They kind of sting.”

Wakatoshi hums quietly and then moves behind Tooru, his hands taking a hold of the cloth and proceeding to dry him up gently. “When we are back to the cave, you should have another bath to wash away the salt. It might be necessary to put the ointment on you to avoid the itching.”

Tooru only nods.

He is unable to hold the surprised gasp when Wakatoshi tugs at the fabric, letting it fall down Tooru's shoulders until his whole back is exposed.

He traces the scars of the whip one by one, making shivers run down Tooru's spine.

“You really seem to enjoy counting my scars, huh?”

The question comes out of his mouth before he is able to process it, and he immediately cringes, wondering whether he might have offended Wakatoshi. He probably did, because those callused fingers immediately draw back and away from him, making Tooru curse himself and crave for them to come back.

He immediately turns around and finds Wakatoshi looking away, eyes low.

“I apologize for causing you distress,” he tells him and immediately Tooru shakes his head.

“Oh, no! I... I'm not uncomfortable at all!” he tells him, because he doesn't want him to get the wrong idea – and he kind of doesn't want that touch to disappear from his daily routine. “I just... I wasn't thinking,” he continues, not bothering to cover his upper body when he turns around to face him.

Wakatoshi has already returned to his previous position, at a respectable distance from him.

It takes everything in Tooru's being not to crawl closer.

He sucks in a breath and looks away.

“I'm not really used to... _light_ touches,” he finally reveals.

Wakatoshi turns his head towards him, eyebrows raised in surprise, but it only lasts for a single instant before it is all back to normal.

Tooru tries to offer him a smile, but it is hard to make it authentic when he has to think about his past experience. So he sticks with its ugly, fake copy. “All I've gotten in the last five years were slaps, punches and kicks. So this is kind of new to me.”

Wakatoshi observes him.

Behind Tooru, Ancalagon runs up to the water, jumps high and far, using his wings to push himself far, and then it dives in. Tooru's eyes widen at the waves he makes, but soon enough the water is calm again, the dragon gone.

“W-where did he go?”

Wakatoshi doesn't move his eyes off him. “Ancalagon likes to hunt fish when we come here.”

Tooru hums, leaning back to rest on his arms. He seems to think about his next sentence, brown eyes lost in the blue of the sea.

“So, do you come here often?”

“I used to. Now it has been a while since I last came here.”

Tooru blinks, only one thought crossing his mind.

“Were you with your lover?”

There is a long moment of silence between them, but Tooru can't really say it's uncomfortable or uncalled for. He remembers very well about a lover Wakatoshi mentioned weeks before, even if it was so brief anyone would have forgotten by now.

Still, he lets the question hang between them, ready for both, an answer or the lack of it – truly speaking, he is grateful for only being here. As he licks his lips, he tastes salt on his skin, and this time the smile on his features softens a bit as he closes his eyes.

“Yes, I was.”

Tooru hopes he continues. He wants to know more about him – possibly also find something to do for him in return, a way to thank him properly for everything he's doing for him.

Wakatoshi waits a long time before answering, and his eyes are now, for the first time _truly_ lost, somewhere in the distance.

“The last time I came here, Shirabu died.”

Tooru's heart stops.

_Oh._

Hazel eyes immediately widen as he looks at him. He doesn't know what to say – he was expecting some pleasant memories to be spilled. Also, they came here to help Tooru forget about his past, not to bring back the darkest pieces of Wakatoshi's.

“I... I'm sorry,” he mumbles quietly, extremely quietly.

Wakatoshi doesn't tell him not to be – he doesn't tell him anything and only keeps looking forward.

Suddenly, Tooru finds his hands extremely interesting.

“I could not stop Ancalagon's fire that day.”

Tooru's mind suddenly drifts to days ago, when Ancalagon almost incinerated him for picking up a single coin. He suddenly finds himself with conflicted thoughts – he wants to know why it happened, but at the same time he doesn't want to force Wakatoshi to tell him.

Ancalagon soon resurfaces, and red shines bright and vivid under the sun. Wakatoshi stands up then and walks to the enormous beast, bringing those large hands towards its nose, running them over pitch dark scales. And by the time the dragon walks away from him to stand under the sun, Tooru is standing next to Wakatoshi, holding the cloth covering him tightly around his body.

“You must have loved him very much.”

Wakatoshi nods. “I did.”

Tooru chuckles bitterly at that. “I kind of envy you, you know? I've never had the... pleasure to fall in love with someone. Nor have I ever had anyone to love me. I've never really given much thought to that – I was too absorbed in books and elaborating ideas for the kingdom's economic matters and organizing the army's strategies.”

When Wakatoshi's attention is back on him, he continues. “If my things were normal and my parents still alive, I guess they would have probably found me a wife by now. And who knows, maybe I would already be king of Aobajōsai and father of a child.”

Wakatoshi nods, still wordlessly.

The sun is slowly starting to set, turning the colors of the sky from a pale blue to a mixture of orange, purple, pink and yellow... Tooru doesn't think he's ever had the possibility to see it like this. It is then that he thinks of something. Something that could make them forget even a little about the unfortunate topic of love.

“Come swim with me.”

Wakatoshi seems surprised by the request, but then Tooru drops the cloak covering him and proceeds to remove Wakatoshi's own from his shoulders. He tugs at his armor, until Wakatoshi gives in and unbuckles it, making it fall onto the hot sand underneath their feet.

Tooru watches all of the rider's garments drop one by one, until they are both naked – and Tooru just can't look away from him anymore. In the cave it is indeed more intimate, but Tooru has never given any thought to it. But right now, Wakatoshi looks amazing – his body is big, covered in thick, trained muscle and hard flesh; it represents his overwhelming strength so thoroughly and Tooru only wants to-

Before he loses control over his body, he takes a few steps into the water, which feels much cooler than it already is – but Tooru's body is overheated by the sun, and he can't help but hiss slightly as he walks in up to his knees.

When he turns around to see where Wakatoshi is, he finds him already beside him, going in the water quickly, not bothered minimally by the variation of the temperature. When seeing him, Tooru finds it easier to forget about the uncomfortableness and soon they are both diving in.

Tooru finds out that Wakatoshi can hold his breath for a very long time, as he has the habit to stay under water for a long time, resurfacing every now and then to refill his lungs with fresh air and then disappearing once more.

When Tooru's leg gives out, Wakatoshi helps him stay afloat, a strong arm wrapped around his lower back. And Tooru relaxes at the touch, the pain forgotten and hazel lost between gold and blue. He lets Wakatoshi show him how to lie on his back without drowning and he learns it immediately, the action being easier with the salt in the water.

But still, that large hand never leaves his skin.

Tooru really thinks he could get used to it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Here is another chapter for you guys. Unfortunately I am completely unable of writing any faster than this, as I only have about half an hour a day to work on this fic (or on anything else). I have lots of ideas though, so it's a bit easier to keep working.
> 
> I am feeling a bit better, so that helps too.
> 
> I don't really have much to say about this chapter. I must be a bad person: in my other fic, I made Shirabu suffer; here, I killed him. I love him though, I swear. About Oikawa, well, the rape scene is what it is, and it shows his hell and mostly his relationship with Satori - that will be explained further as the story moves on. I hope Ushijima mends it all a little.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the reading.
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you very much for all the Comments, Kudos and Bookmarks.
> 
> I'll see you at the next update! :)


	7. Utopia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't struggle drawing back the arrow and he becomes aware on his his breathing affects his movements, becomes aware of everything that surrounds him.
> 
> All of a sudden, a pigeon takes flight from the roof of the building behind him, and in a fraction of a second, he turns on his heel and lets go. The arrow flies fast, and hits the target flawlessly. The bird falls on the ground not far from them and the seller cheers for Tooru.
> 
> “What a wonderful shot! You are very talented!”

Tooru's eyes lighten up when he sees the village as the dragon begins to lower itself in the sky. It's been more than two months since he's been all alone with Wakatoshi, and he has already seen the most beautiful places of the foreign kingdom, but he still hasn't had the opportunity to meet the people.

He barely recalls the meetings his father made him have with the common people at Aobajōsai, which mostly consisted in complaints coming from their part and solution proposals coming from his father's. Some people were very poor, simple farmers, some were merchants, and sometimes even the aristocrats came to ask for advice or help. Tooru saw all shades of them.

But Shiratorizawa is different.

Wakatoshi talked to him, although it resulted rather vague without physical examples, about villages where all the people have what they need, where there is no hunger or thirst, or fights for properties.

His father used to tell him how it is impossible to make everyone happy. _Utopia_ was the word he used, and Tooru has never forgotten it.

He wonders whether this place is even close to it, because from what came out of Wakatoshi's mouth made it certainly seem so.

The few people outside the gate don't even flinch when Ancalagon lands among them. They simply step back and let it have the space it needs. As Tooru and Wakatoshi land, a young woman approaches the beast and throws it a freshly hunted rabbit, and Ancalgon gladly accepts it, steaming it while it flies towards him and then swallowing it whole.

Tooru observes the scene and notices the way the woman bows when she sees and greets Wakatoshi. Just by observing her appearance, Tooru can't really tell which social class she belongs to – her clothes seem comfortable, but they are hand made and the quality is superb. She holds a bow in her hand, which means she's a huntress, and in the other she carries around a chest with dead preys inside.

“Shall we go?” Wakatoshi asks, interrupting Tooru's thoughts.

Before he is able to say anything, Ancalagon flies away, its wings blowing a strong wind all over the place. It is then that Tooru notices just how unfazed the people are about it.

“ _Ancalagon is not the only dragon here.”_

And Tooru can't help but wonder: are there really _that_ many of them in this place?

Wakatoshi leads him through the gates, Tooru walking a little closer to him. It is surprising how much he doesn't feel at ease knowing that he was isolated from society for so long. He almost feels scared, but Wakatoshi's presence is reassuring – Tooru doesn't know why his brain is telling, _urging_ him to touch him, to hold onto him; in any case, he doesn't oblige.

The village is crowded. People are walking around the streets, them being full of stands and tents, from food and clothes to toys and weapons. Tooru struggles keeping an eye on the man walking in front of him, his attention being drawn to the wealthy-looking people around him.

Tooru was used to the company of the noblemen and the richest members of the bourgeoisie, but these people are different. He can see from their appearance that they are wealthy, but they aren't flashy or supercilious like the ones from his kingdom.

Children are wandering around on their own, playing hide and seek in the crowd, a few dragon hatchlings hanging on their shoulders. Tooru sees adult dragons as well, some flying above them, casting large shadows over the village, some smaller ones lazily lying on the roofs of the largest buildings.

The cleanliness of the streets also surprises him – he's never heard of a city, town or village that is completely clean; usually, wherever there are districts with the lowest ranks of society, there are lots of health issues brought by the poor hygiene conditions, where the sewers are inexistent or damaged, or simply poorly built.

But Tooru can't see anyone who even remotely looks sickly. There are also no beggars wandering from person to person, no prostitutes hanging outside the full inns...

So Wakatoshi really meant it.

He flinches when he feels a hand between his shoulder blades and he turns to see Wakatoshi holding him in place as a few children run around them a few times, giggling and yelling, before disappearing. Tooru feels Wakatoshi making him turn on the right, and he walks him to a stand with all kinds of clothes.

The man behind it smiles and bows. “Oh, Ushijima-san, you're back!”

Wakatoshi greets him and Tooru notices a hint of a smile on his face, something he has seen on only a few occasions during his stay with him.

“May I know what are you looking for this time?”

Wakatoshi looks at Tooru. “Find some clothes that you like and that fit you and try them on.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“You need new clothes.”

Tooru shakes his head. He is not going to let Wakatoshi buy him things. He bought him the clothes he is already wearing, which, although being a bit large on him, will do just fine, and he wants to tell him that, but Wakatoshi interrupts him once more.

“Do not argue. You need new clothes, so pick what you like.” The tone of voice and the way it was phrased doesn't leave any room for debate, so Tooru, reluctantly, begins to look through what the seller has to offer. The man is older than them, in his late forties maybe, but he looks full of energy. He quickly shows everything he has of Tooru's size and the prince easily finds what he likes. He tries to keep his picks at minimal, but Wakatoshi takes a hold of everything his gaze lingers on for contemplation. Soon, he has a small pile of fabrics in front of him, and Tooru really wants to take something away and back to the stand, but Wakatoshi raises his hand, making him stop.

“Let me know how much it is.”

Tooru feels his cheeks heating up, feeling slightly ashamed for not being able to provide for himself.

He must find something to do so he could thank him properly.

But for now, as they walk, he leans closer to the taller man, their shoulders brushing ever so slightly. “Thank you, I-”

“You don't have to thank me. I need to buy a few more supplies and then we will have something to eat. Is that alright with you?”

Tooru nods, and the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach only increases.

Wakatoshi stops at a lot of stands where people sell ointments, creams and particular plants. Tooru remembers him making a list the evening before and now he watches him handle all the containers with such a care it almost seems as if he were touching living beings before he puts them in a bag he brought with himself.

“I can carry my clothes,” he tells him, but Wakatoshi refuses to give them to him as they walk to the next destination.

As Tooru waits for him, he looks around some more, and his gaze falls upon a nearby booth, with mixed hunting weapons. “I'll be a few stands away. I want to check out something,” he tells Wakatoshi, who allows him to go.

And so he does.

As soon as he is able to focus on every exposed item, his eyes are once again attracted. He sees a beautiful black bow, with a quiver full of matching black arrows, just like the one he used to have before he was captured. He approaches it after greeting the young man behind the counter and he can't hold back his hand: he reaches forward and touches it hesitantly, almost with reverence, and immediately realizes the material it is made of is rosewood. A sudden nostalgia hits him like a ton of bricks, his memory traveling to the rich gardens of his castle, where rosewood grew without stopping, tall and strong.

He remembers when his father brought him his first bow, when he was seven, and then all the later ones he received as he grew.

“Would you like to try it?”

Hazel eyes blink. “Huh?”

The young man in front of him smiles. “Would you like to try it?”

Tooru really wants to say no, because he can't afford to have it right now. But then... Trying doesn't really cost any money, so he nods shyly. His breath hitches in his throat when he takes a hold of it, the way it fits his hand just right. It also suits his height, and after he puts the string and tries to pull it, he discovers it suits his strength as well.

Perfectly.

He doesn't struggle drawing back the arrow and he becomes aware on his his breathing affects his movements, becomes aware of everything that surrounds him.

All of a sudden, a pigeon takes flight from the roof of the building behind him, and in a fraction of a second, he turns on his heel and lets go. The arrow flies fast, and hits the target flawlessly. The bird falls on the ground not far from them and the seller cheers for Tooru.

“What a wonderful shot! You are very talented!”

Tooru blinks, his concentration wearing off as the young man walks to the now dead prey. “It didn't even suffer,” he says and Tooru lowers the bow, his hand holding tightly onto it. The man brings the bird to him and he takes it in his hand. No blood has been spilled.

A few people applaud him quietly, and a little girl with a small dragon approaches him. “That was amazing, sir!”

Tooru smiles at her and sees the young black dragon watching him. It reaches the girl's waist, its scales a dark red with matching eyes. He tosses the bird to it and it jumps slightly, taking it into its mouth and devouring it in a matter of seconds before nuzzling against Tooru's leg.

“Thank you, sir! Kasai-chan is very grateful too!”

Tooru just smiles and pats her head, but he doesn't dare to touch the dragon. “You're welcome.”

He straightens up, his eyes looking at the weapon in his hand.

“Do you like it?”

He stiffens, immediately turning around to find Wakatoshi standing there, gold curiously observing him.

Tooru swallows. “Yeah... It's gorgeous. The wood is top quality and the engravings are worthy of one of the most skilled artisans I've ever seen.”

Behind him, the seller laughs, “My father will be pleased to hear that.”

But Tooru doesn't hear him, hazel eyes lost in the way Wakatoshi is looking at him. He's fairly sure he's never had that kind of look directed at him, a mixture of admiration and some kind of hunger, but not the violent, lusty type of hunger he's learned to be the object of during the last five years.

“Would you like to have it?”

Tooru shakes his head faster than he intends to. “No! It's a beautiful weapon, but I can't ask you to get this for me. I don't need it right now.” As soon as he says it, he puts it back where he found it, his hand lingering for a tad too long before letting go, and, after bowing and thanking the seller, he begins to walk away.

Wakatoshi follows him wordlessly.

There is a long moment of silence between them, and Tooru feels his stomach drop with every passing minute. He doesn't really understand why, but it is rather uncomfortable. His hands involuntarily clench into fists and he forgets to breathe for a couple of minutes, forcing him to walk a little faster.

Wakatoshi's hand shoots out and takes a hold of his arm, stopping him in his tracks, making his awareness of himself return.

“Are you alright?”

Tooru bites his lip, cursing himself for being always so obvious when something bothers him, but his thoughts are getting worse. And his memories are flooding his mind, making it impossible to conceal the grimace that blooms on his face when he speaks.

“I... I just couldn't help but think about the past.”

Wakatoshi blinks, his grip on Tooru's arm loosening.

Tooru tries to smile, but fails miserably. “I... Every prince in Aobajōsai at the age of ten must pick a knight to protect them after they become king and then train with them to compensate what they lack. I chose my best friend, Iwa-ch- _Iwaizumi Hajime_ , who was the same age -as I and, when we started our trainings, I wanted to compensate his talent for sword fighting by having his back whenever it was needed. So I chose archery as my discipline.”

Wakatoshi listens to his every word.

“We... We were very close. I hoped we would be forever, but then I...” He hesitates when he thinks about that afternoon in the throne room, all the bodies and blood... He shakes his head. “Anyway, we became good. We became _very_ good.”

Wakatoshi's hold becomes just a light presence, a sort of caress that moves up to his shoulder and once again stops there.

“But then his father betrayed my family, I was taken away... And he never looked for me...”

Wakatoshi waits for him to finish and Tooru feels his eyes becoming slightly wet and he knows Wakatoshi can see it. He feels the hand raising up to his cheek and he closes his eyes, resisting the urge to lean into the warm touch.

“Sorry, I shouldn't be getting sentimental right now. What is done is done,” he says as a rough thumb runs under his eye and collects a little bit of salty water.

“I already told you not to apologize for this. Come with me now.”

Tooru walks next to him, eyes low on the ground. Nobody have even flinched at their brief physical contact, something that would have definitely happened everywhere else.

Wakatoshi says nothing else and motions him to follow him and Tooru, as always, does so, his eyes not looking at the people anymore and only on that broad back. Wakatoshi stops after a few minutes of strolling around and points towards a rather old, but still well-kept building. A bakery.

“You must be hungry. I always come here before lunch because they always have freshly made bread.” As they enter, Tooru's eyes begin to shine. “I love milk bread,” he says and the woman behind the glass hears him, since her clients just left with full bags in their hands.

“We have that one, boy,” she says with a bright smile adorning her face. Tooru's eyes widen even more. “Oh, hello, Ushijima-san.” Wakatoshi nods and asks for a few loafs of that and a few of sesame-covered bread and the woman immediately begins to search for the requested food, filling the bag made of paper with skilled hands, before handing it over to them.

As soon as Wakatoshi has it, he gives her a small amount of gold coins before digging his hand in the bag, taking out a loaf and handing it to Tooru, who takes it enthusiastically and doesn't think twice before giving a bite. He finds out that it is filled with milk cream as well, something his baker didn't do unless requested.

“It's sooo good!” he exclaims with his mouth full.

Wakatoshi nods, not looking at him. “Are you hungry? I was thinking of bringing you to a place I often go to when I visit here.”

“Of course. I'm starting to be really hungry,” he says with a chuckle.

They arrive at a small restaurant, located in the middle of a park. It is rather isolated from the crowded center of the village, but Tooru can still feel the noise of it, not that he minds.

Wakatoshi shows him inside and they manage to find a free table.

Tooru notices that, despite the place being isolated, it is still full. He takes a seat near a window and watches as Wakatoshi puts all the things they bought on the chair next to him. A waitress is already there, asking what they'll have and they both order the same things, salmon and chicken with baked potatoes and steamed vegetables which Tooru can't wait to have, because that loaf of bread just triggered his hunger.

The woman returns with two cups of wine, and tells them it is on them, as she explains to Tooru how they always treat new clients like that.

When she leaves, he gives a puzzled look to Wakatoshi. “But you said you already came here before.”

“I did, but _you_ did not. This is for you.”

Tooru blinks. “Why don't you sit down?” he asks, seeing that Wakatoshi is just standing in front of him.

“I forgot to buy something. I will return soon, half an hour at most,” he tells him and Tooru raises an eyebrow, standing up. “I'll come with you.”

Wakatoshi shakes his head. “No, you stay here and wait for our meals. I will be back soon.”

Tooru closes his mouth and sits down, not bothering to insist, because he knows it would be pointless. “Okay.”

As Wakatoshi leaves, Tooru's eyes stay on his back until he is out of the door. Then, he pours a little wine in his cup and drinks it down in one go, the taste richer than anything he was forced to drink back in Nohebi.

He feels like he is waiting forever – the unusual place he is at, where everyone talks with everyone, with no fights or insults flying to man to man; hatchlings fly in the room...

It's weird.

A little dragon lands on his table and Tooru can't help but smile, this one being of a dark green color, with red eyes as well. It must be a common feature, he figures. “I have nothing to give you,” he tells it, and the realization of his words makes him understand just where he stands.

 _He has nothing to give_.

Not to this hatchling.

Not to Wakatoshi.

He tries to shoo the little beast, but it only gets closer, attaching itself to his arm. Tooru begins to panic a little, but still tries to play it off without making a scene, even though he has no clue of how to behave in such an environment.

“Give him this,” the waitress from before comes by and hands him a few pieces of fresh meat on a small silver plate. Tooru looks at her questioningly and she smiles. “You aren't from here, are you?”

Tooru shakes his head, not sure if her finding out is a good thing or not, but her intentions don't seem to be ill.

She doesn't comment on that, her smile staying the same.

“Hatchlings either want you to play with them or ask for food. The latter is more probable, since they don't know you.”

Tooru hesitantly reaches out for a piece of meat. The dragon cries quietly, spreading its wings. Tooru gives it to it and watches it eat hurriedly. And he doesn't know why, but it makes him laugh. He gives it another piece, finally deciding to pet it with his free hand as it finishes that too.

Ancalagon is so scary compared to this, but he knows, deep down, that in a few years, this one will grow as well, all the cute features turning into that intimidating manifestation of pure strength.

“How so that you are with Ushijima-san? I haven't seen him with anyone in more than a year.”

Tooru's attention is once again drawn away, the new information making his heart stop for a moment. He thinks about Wakatoshi, that day in the field when he made him climb his dragon and brought him away from slavery; and he also thinks about his dead lover, the reason he is alone now.

“He saved my life.”

The waitress chuckles. “Ah, I see. Sounds like him.” She then notices a new client heading in and excuses herself.

Wakatoshi returns in the time he promised and as soon as Tooru spots him, his breath hitches in his throat.

“You _didn't_.”

Wakatoshi raises an eyebrow, a black bow emerging from behind him. As soon as he is at their table, he removes the set from his shoulder and kindly offers it to the fallen prince, a soft expression on his face.

But Tooru shakes his head.

_He has nothing to give him._

“No. You shouldn't have done this. Please, take it back.”

But Wakatoshi doesn't listen. Instead, he places it beside Tooru before sitting down in front of him, his hand mindlessly wandering to the friendly dragon who hasn't left Tooru's side yet.

“This bow is practically made for you, Oikawa. I will not take it back.”

Tooru bites his lip, his decision to refuse him crumbling as he lowers his hand to his gift. A shiver runs down his spine, just like it did before, the thrill with a bit of nostalgia blossoming in the back of his mind. “It's just not right. You shouldn't be doing all of this for me.”

Wakatoshi only listens.

“I don't even know how to repay you properly.”

“I have never asked you to.”

***

In the end, they decide to stay in the village. At first Tooru thinks they'd stay until lunch. Then, they discover a festival in another street and Wakatoshi can't bring himself to take Tooru away; and Tooru is glad, because he has never seen any gathering of people this beautiful.

When the sun sets and the darkness lands on the kingdom, the festival goes on. But Tooru is tired and is beginning to feel the strain in his knee, which causes him to wince at a certain point, stopping in his tracks and hoping for his leg to not give out.

In less than a second, Wakatoshi is in front of him.

“You are tired.”

Tooru doesn't reply.

“We should find a place to spend the night,” he adds and as Tooru tests the pain level of his leg, Wakatoshi raises his arm, wrapping it around his neck, deciding to take on as much of Tooru's weight on himself as the position allows him. They walk slowly, Wakatoshi adjusting to his speed.

A few peasants ask them whether they need any help, but they decline. They are already used to this.

Eventually, Wakatoshi decides to take Tooru up in his arms, and Tooru once again gasps at how easy he makes it seem. But he feels steady, Wakatoshi's hold still and perfect on him. He wraps an arm around his neck and barely refrains himself from looking at him.

They once again reach an isolated part of the village, with trees and bushes and a small path leading into the darkness. Tooru closes his eyes, enjoying in the fresh air of the evening.

He doesn't really know for how long they've been walking, but suddenly Wakatoshi stops, the freshness disappearing and humidity taking its place. And Tooru looks again.

“We are here.”

Tooru finds them standing in front of a large house, a river running behind it and he swears he can see steam rising. “Is this a hot spring?” he asks, a little hesitant.

“Yes. I thought it would be good for you to relax before going to sleep.”

Tooru stops replying.

_He has nothing to give him._

They are welcomed by a family who runs the place together. They tell them that the springs are free of visitors, as everyone is still celebrating in the streets. Wakatoshi requests some bandages to be delivered to their room and then proceeds to carry Tooru up the stairs and to it.

Tooru feels himself being put back on his feet once they are inside, before Wakatoshi closes the shōji door behind them. He awkwardly stands in the middle of the room as the rider places down everything they bought and lovingly appreciates the presence of his new bow, not being able to wait to try it out.

A young man, probably the owners' son, given the resemblance with him, brings two clean yukata with a pile of towels and Wakatoshi takes them with a quiet thank you. The man smiles and bows, instructing them where the futons are and when dinner will be ready, then wishing them a good stay.

“Do you want to go to the hot springs now that there is no one there?” Wakatoshi asks.

Tooru says yes without hesitance – he doesn't want to be object of weird gazes and stares, aware that his abused body is definitely anything but a nice sight.

They wash themselves in the showers in silence and once they get to the outside pool, Tooru sighs. The thickness of the air is pleasant, the humidity immediately sticking to his skin, to his hair, tho his whole being. He sits down at the edge of the pool and then lets himself slip in, careful not to slip.

He succeeds in that, and then sits on one of the closest rocks, where the water reaches his shoulders. He lowers his head when Wakatoshi drops his towel behind him and sits next to him, feeling his cheeks burn and heart race – he tells himself it's because of the heat; he has a sudden need to look at Wakatoshi, to touch him if possible, and-

_Oh._

“ _Ahh, Tooru-chan, this is the best possible way you could thank me~”_

Satori's voice echoes in his head, and he suddenly remembers when he forced himself to ride him after he saved him from Shinzen's drunken knights and brought him to his room for the night; he did everything he could just to avoid being brought back where he knew he would be in a greater danger. It was one of the few times he spent the night somewhere warm, the price being having his legs spread a few times through the night.

Tooru cringes at the memory, sinks a little more into the water, still without lying back onto the rocks.

Wakatoshi, in the meanwhile, has spread his arms on the rocks, letting out a quiet sigh, making Tooru turn around, since he's never heard him make that kind of noise. What he finds makes his jaw drop – Wakatoshi has his head thrown back and eyes closed, his neck exposed, his prominent collarbones so... inviting that Tooru just-

He moves closer to him and immediately the rider's attention if back on him.

And despite the shiver running through the bottom of his spine, he can't stop.

His hands move out of his own accord, lying on one of those strong arms, and the heat that welcomes them, make the water seem cold. Tooru's eyes lose themselves in than and he slowly starts to slide up to his shoulders and neck, finding himself kneeling on the rock despite the pain, hazel locked with gold. He feels tense muscles underneath his long fingers and, without thinking twice about it, he starts to massage it. At first, it is slow, careful, but as Wakatoshi's lips part and his eyes close, he presses a little more, just the way he was... _taught_.

“Turn around,” he tells him and Wakatoshi does. Tooru spreads his legs and fits Wakatoshi between them. His hands now have access to him whole, and he wastes no time to resume where he left off.

He makes sure to memorize every part of Wakatoshi's smooth skin and hard flesh, he presses against all the spots he thinks don't feel right and his heart skips a beat whenever he receives a pleased groan in return. When he slides down to his shoulder blades and in between, Wakatoshi leans forward, to give him a better access, but to Tooru it isn't enough, because he once again presses closer to him, his arms sliding under Wakatoshi's and then bending so his hands make it to his chest.

“Oikawa?”

But Tooru doesn't listen, his focus since long fogged by a sudden wave of desire and need. He leans his forehead on Wakatoshi's shoulder, his hands sliding down, to Wakatoshi's abs, lowering past his navel-

“What are you doing?” the other asks, large hands finally stopping Tooru in his tracks. Tooru doesn't react to his words, his face hidden and his strength leaving him slowly. He barely feels Wakatoshi turning around, his hands raising his head so he is looking up.

“We should head out,” he tells him. “It must be too hot for you. You are exhausted.”

Tooru doesn't speak even as Wakatoshi pulls him out of the pool, wraps a towel around him and carries him to the changing rooms. He doesn't move when Wakatoshi dresses him with the yukata, when he ties the obi around his waist.

“Can you stand?”

Tooru nods, doing it immediately.

He doesn't feel dizzy.

He didn't need to be pulled out of the pool – the one in the cave is hotter than this. He just didn't know what to do, _whether he should_ do what he wants to do. The warmth growing in his abdomen doesn't help him make his decision.

He limps slowly by Wakatoshi, who helps him climb the stairs and leads him back to the room.

Wakatoshi heads for his futon, sits down on it, while Tooru closes the door, not breathing anymore. He leans against it, turning around.

Hazel eyes see Wakatoshi sitting already, the bandages in his hand, waiting. “Are you alright?”

Tooru shakes his head and the other just... waits.

Until Tooru finally decides. He has everything to lose, but then... He doesn't _really_ have _anything_. He walks slowly toward+*s the man who saved him, until his bare feet are on the futon and he is standing over him.

And then he drops down, on his knees, barely holding back a hiss, but then he shifts, until he is sitting on the man's lap, his legs bent at each side of him, his chest pressed against Wakatoshi's. He feels him stiffen underneath himself, those shoulders once again tense, but he pays it no mind and instead moves his slender hands to his own yukata, pushing it off his shoulders, until his chest and arms are exposed, the only thing holding it up being the obi.

He watches as gold glues itself on his skin, traveling down to the fabric covering the rest him.

Since he hasn't been pushed away yet, he proceeds to grind against Wakatoshi, immediately feeling a warm hardness against his own and cursing the clothes separating him from what he's been unconsciously craving for for weeks.

Wakatoshi still isn't touching him, his hands resting on the futon at his sides, but they keep looking at each other, blinking rarely. Tooru feels the room growing hot, and his hips move a little faster. At first he supports himself on those broad shoulders, but then greedy fingers begin to slip beneath the fabric, pushing it away, finally feeling those collarbones and muscles...

He groans, pulling back and untying his obi, sliding the yukata off and throwing it aside. He returns to his previous position, this time wrapping his arms around his neck, but in that exact moment, he meets Wakatoshi's eyes.

And he stops.

“Why are you doing this?”

Tooru thinks about it for a second, but then his lips curve up. “I want to _thank you_ for today.”

Gold widens for a split second, and then there are calluses on Tooru's wrist and waist, preventing him from moving further. Slowly, Wakatoshi destroys his embrace, until Tooru is sitting still, in the same position but with his arms held at his sides, just less stable.

Hazel eyes drop, once again away, losing themselves.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Wakatoshi only stares back.

“Do you want me to lie underneath you?”

Wakatoshi's hand moves to hold his right leg, without removing it from the lap, but still taking most of Tooru's weight on itself.

“Do you honestly not see anything wrong?”

And it dawns on Tooru the moment he runs his eyes over himself. And he spots those ugly scars, the still crusted wounds and remains of burnt skin. And he realizes that he pretty much offered Wakatoshi a used napkin.

“I'm not good enough, am I?”

Now he wants to slide off of the man, but it is Wakatoshi who stops him from doing so this time. “I was not referring to that, but to your reasons. You must do this only when you want to. You do not have to thank me for anything that I have done.”

“But I... I do w-”

Tooru's words are interrupted by lips pressed against his own. Hazel eyes widen impossibly and his whole body stops moving, the breathing forgotten, his heart-beat inexistent for a moment and impossibly fast the next one. Wakatoshi kisses him gently, at first only brushing against Tooru's lips, until a daring tongue licks against them, asking for permission to enter his mouth, which Tooru grants immediately, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the side.

He gasps when Wakatoshi's hand slowly raises against his back, and it is then that the kiss ends.

Once Wakatoshi pulls away, Tooru brings his fingers to his lips, feeling the skin hot there.

In five years of imprisonment he hasn't been kissed once. He was forced to lie with countless men, but none of them has ever offered him half a gesture of tenderness or care. Until Wakatoshi.

But still, the way he behaved just now gives birth to a nauseating feeling of shame. He finally gets off the lap, turning away to find his yukata, which he wears quickly. His heart feels like it's going to explode and Wakatoshi must probably think he is just another common slut.

He is about to stand up and go to his own futon, but Wakatoshi stops him, his hand still being glued to his wrist from before.

“I need to bandage your knee,” he tells him and Tooru wants to reply that he doesn't need it, that he doesn't deserve it, but before he can say anything, Wakatoshi is already on his feet, rummaging through the bags they filled during the day, until he pulls out a small bottle.

He takes it along with the bandages from before and returns by Tooru's side.

“Don't bend your leg,” he tells him, while pouring the ointment on his hand. Tooru hisses at the cold when he proceeds to smear it on the red skin, but he forces himself not to move. The tightness of the bandages eases out the pain, the pressure being right in all the places.

In the meanwhile, Tooru lies down, his strength gone.

“Would you like to have dinner?”

“I don't think I have the strength to go downstairs right now.”

“They could bring the meals here.”

Tooru hums quietly. “I guess I could eat something after all,” he mutters. In no time, Wakatoshi is out the door and then back, moving their bags away from the low table in the corner. Tooru only looks outside through the open window, his mind in endless conflict.

“Ne, Ushijima?” It feel weird to use his true surname after all this time. But a nickname would be really insulting if he used it now.

“Yes?”

“Are you disgusted?”

“Why would I be?”

“Because of what I just... I...”

He doesn't finish the sentence. He doesn't know how to and he hopes Wakatoshi understands.

There is a long pause after that, during which Tooru nervously bites on his bottom lip, his stomach sinking among his guts, his nausea growing worse.

“No.”

Wakatoshi's answer has no trace of doubt in itself, the voice deep and rich as it always is. And Tooru knows it isn't a lie, because Wakatoshi doesn't lie. He has learned to know that even though he only knows it for a little more than two months.

The owners of the place bring the various dishes in the room, putting them all on the wooden surface and Tooru beams at the quantity and variety of the menu, standing up and reaching for the chopsticks. He starts to eat when Wakatoshi does and they don't speak for the whole time, until the plates are empty and taken away.

Only then, does Tooru return to the futon, only to remember he has his own here. But Wakatoshi is lying next to him in less than a second, the lights turned off by the owner at his request, the moonlight peeking through the still open window.

“Sorry, I'll move now.”

“No.”

Tooru stops where he is, his body listening to Wakatoshi's commands better than his own.

“I...”

“You can stay here until morning, Oikawa. Please, do.”

Tooru blinks sleepily, the silky yukata suddenly feeling very nice against his skin. Wakatoshi covers them both with one of the blankets they've been given. The space is even smaller than what they have in the cave, but none of them seems to mind, each one lying on their side, eyes locked together.

A rough thumb runs under his eye, then over his cheek, reminding him of the comforting feature from this morning, and Tooru wishes he could be kissed by him again, but he doesn't dare to ask.

“Maybe we should have put the futons together. To have more space,” Tooru whispers absentmindedly and immediately regrets it, because Wakatoshi moves. Fortunately, he manages to prevent him from standing up.

“Do you want me to?”

“No. Not at all... I mean, unless you're uncomfortable.”

Wakatoshi sighs, gold shutting. “No. I am alright,” he says quietly.

Their legs tangle together and with the sheets some time later into the night – partially because Tooru wants them to be that way. Wakatoshi's arm rests on Tooru's hip and Tooru snuggles as close as he can to him, pressing himself against the larger man. He can blame it on the sleeping in the morning, even though he can barely let himself go and drift away, his heartbeat not stopping for a second.

Eventually, after succeeding and beating his own shame, he manages to bury his face into Wakatoshi's chest, and he sighs in relief when he isn't pushed away.

The weight on his side stays, the warmth surrounding him more intense than ever and he thinks he's never been any better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Here is chapter 7 for you. After two long months.
> 
> I'm so sorry for making you wait, but my depression has been getting worse and I found myself slacking off way too much lately. I spent whole days either sleeping or crying over myself. So yeah, that's pretty much it. 
> 
> But I'm trying to pull myself together - I took a week off from school and everything and I feel a little bit better, but still not too great. Sigh, I'll manage, I'll manage... I promise.
> 
> Anyway, about the story! I really hope you enjoy this new chapter - I gave my best when writing it and I hope I succeeded in making the atmosphere just the way I had it in mind. Oikawa is finally getting friendly with dragons, haha. I couldn't wait to make that happen.
> 
> If anyone is still reading this, thank you so much for your patience. I hope you keep waiting for the next update!
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you in advance for every Kudo, Comment and Bookmark; they are a great support to me and it really means a lot!
> 
> So yeah, see ya at the next update! :)


	8. Blood and Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru's grip on the weapon tightens.
> 
> “I want you to train me.”
> 
> After hearing no immediate response, he takes in a deep breath.
> 
> “After this week, when I'm fully healed, I want you to train me.”
> 
> Because he can't allow himself to stay so vulnerable. Shiratorizawa and Wakatoshi might be safe, they might take care of him, but he can't risk it anymore. He wants to be strong again, even if he is on his own.

While they are in the village, Wakatoshi brings Tooru to a doctor, just for the sake of checking up on his knee.

He is an older man, grumpy-looking and strict, but Tooru can't sense any evil intentions coming from him. As he lies on the bed of the room and the man's hands run over his knee, feeling every single part of it. He made him take off his pants, just to be able to get to his thigh as well, and Tooru is glad the bruises on his legs are now completely gone, otherwise this would have been an even more pathetic sight.

“You should have brought him here before, Wakatoshi.”

Tooru's eyes meet gold for a second, before Wakatoshi bows his head. “It is bad?”

The man presses against a particular spot that makes Tooru jolt slightly, his whimper barely audible, but still there. “Had you brought him here sooner, he would have spared himself a great deal of pain.”

Tooru's eyes widen ever so slightly, but he doesn't dare to ask – even though he definitely should; it is his body they are talking about after all. He should be all ears, but he just can't bring himself to utter a word.

“Your kneecap is about to dislocate, boy.”

Tooru doesn't really know how to react – he's never heard of someone who had the same problem. His eyes search for Wakatoshi's once again, and he sees furrowed brows and lips pressed in a thin line, gaze lost in the slightly inflamed skin of his leg.

“Umm, can it be fixed?”

The old man nods. “This will hurt,” he tells him, and before Tooru has the chance to say anything else, Wakatoshi is behind him, those large hands on Tooru's shoulders, gently holding him in place. “It will only take a moment, Oikawa.”

Tooru's mouth opens, but, instead of words, a scream escapes it.

The old man pushes against his knee, hard, until a cracking sound echoes in the room with Tooru's scream. And then there is silence. Tooru's eyes are wide open, his vision blurry – it was black for an instant, but now it's getting better. His breathing is erratic, his chest hurting badly and then, there are hands on his face. His tears are wiped away by calluses and he begins to see again.

Wakatoshi's expression strikes something in him, makes his body grow still. The way he is looking at him, with gentle eyes and lips curved up ever so slightly... Tooru exhales, his eyelids suddenly growing heavy.

His leg doesn't hurt anymore. There is no more pain, not even the slightest bit, and Tooru can finally think about his own body and concentrate on every single movement without distraction. This time, he focuses on his breathing, his chest raising and falling slowly, slowly, slowly.

“Are you alright, Oikawa?”

Wakatoshi's voice echoes in his mind, but he only manages to nod, his eyes now closed.

“It is usually quite a shock to anyone who's gone through this for the first time in their life. Let him rest through the next week, even if he claims he feels fine. After that, he can do whatever he wants.”

He comes by some time later, and finds Wakatoshi pulling up his pants, the doctor sitting at his desk and writing something. As soon as he realizes he is awake, Wakatoshi helps him sitting up and standing on his feet.

His leg _doesn't_ hurt anymore.

It is a pleasure to know he won't be needing support from now on, but Wakatoshi's hand finds his way around him nonetheless and Tooru can't bring himself to tell him it's not required.

Wakatoshi walks to the doctor and asks him a few more questions and once he replies to all of them, Wakatoshi thanks him with a bow.

“Thank you, Washijō-san.”

Tooru winces ever so slightly when the older man looks at him, his eyes severe for a moment, until his lips curve up.

“This is curious,” he begins. “I've lived for a long time, and seen many things, met a lot of people... But I've never thought I would be seeing the legitimate heir to Aobajōsai's throne here, in Shiratorizawa.”

His blood freezes in his veins, his body grows still.

“W-what?”

The man's half-smile turns into a grin. “So it really _is_ you...”

Hazel eyes immediately search for Wakatoshi, who is still standing in the same spot. He finds gold already looking back at him, and his breathing stops.

_This can't be._

His identity can't be found out... He... He doesn't want to risk returning to his previous conditions, to all the torture and pain. Not to Nohebi, nor anywhere else.

“You must be wrong,” he tries, desperately, but the man doesn't seem to budge.

“I've seen you once when you were a child. I didn't think it was you, but when Wakatoshi said your last name, I had my confirm.”

Tooru's first instinct is to run, but Wakatoshi raises his hand, as if trying to reassure him, but Tooru takes a step back despite it. “Oikawa, calm down. It is alright.”

The stillness from before turns into light trembling and then shaking and his heart feels like it might break out of his chest and onto the floor – he kind of wishes it would; at least he wouldn't have to live in fear anymore.

But he should have known.

This new life with Wakatoshi was way too good to last long. For someone with his blood at least. “I...”

Before he knows it, Wakatoshi is by his side, gently holding his arms and, for the first time, it doesn't feel reassuring. Instead, Tooru moves away, ready to flee out of the door, but Wakatoshi holds him still (when did he grab him again?).

“Calm down, boy. Your secret is safe with me.”

The old man is suddenly on his feet, approaching him with slow steps, but all he can focus on is Wakatoshi's arm wrapping around him and the reassurance begins to return.

“I know what happened to your family five years ago. I also know what happened to you. Many people thought, and still think you are dead. But we all know just how precious you were as a hostage.”

Tooru stays silent the whole time. Wakatoshi's thumb gently runs over his rib, and even though the fabric of his clothes dulls the feeling, Tooru can still distinguish it clearly, among everything else. His blood feels like it's flowing again, slowly, and his heart doesn't hammer against his ribcage anymore.

“Allow me to see your wounds,” Tanji says. Tooru hesitates – he would be a fool not to. His eyes only look for the man who saved him and he finds gold eyes looking at him. Wakatoshi nods. “You can trust him.”

The doubts assaulting him don't cease, but then, he figures, having the remains of his wounds checked out can't do him anything bad. He nods as well.

“Please, remove your clothes then.”

When fully naked, Tanji looks him once, from head to toe, eyeing the closed wound in his abdomen, and then the one in his shoulder once he makes him turn around. All the other bruises and hematomas are since long gone. “I see that Wakatoshi has taken good care of you.”

“Yes,” Tooru says, lowering his gaze to the wooden floor.

The man touches his scars, checks out for anything abnormal, but upon seeing nothing, he tells Tooru to dress up once again, then walks to one his drawers to pull out some ointments. He hands them to Wakatoshi. “Make him apply these every day before going to sleep. They shall reduce the scar tissue to a minimum.”

When Tooru turns around, he finds Tanji's hand on Wakatoshi's shoulder and then he says something in the same foreign language Wakatoshi uses to speak to his dragon. He wants to ask about it, he deserves to know, because he is more than aware that he is talking about him.

But he doesn't.

He sees something change in Wakatoshi's eyes, his expression turning softer, but differently than before. It is now flooded with sorrow, and those gold eyes lower and lose themselves like Tooru's did just a while ago.

And there is nothing he can do.

When they leave the office, none of them speaks a word.

***

Days go by and, once again, Wakatoshi makes sure Tooru isn't missing anything as he is forced to rest. He brings him hot beverages, food and covers when the nights are chillier.

Tooru loves sleeping with him – every night, he makes sure they end up touching, sometimes by throwing his leg over him, or simply lying on top of his chest when the man turns on his back in his sleep. The times when Tooru wakes up and finds an arm wrapped around himself, or a hand buried in his hair, he feels happy.

When Wakatoshi stands up and leaves in the mornings, Tooru feels himself missing his touch, but still pretends to sleep until a little later.

He wishes he didn't have to.

***

It is hard to stay still all the time.

Tooru got fed up of it ever since his other wounds healed. He holds his bow in his hands as he lies down on his stomach, the thin sheet covering him from the waist down, his clothes scattered somewhere after the temperature of the water had risen, and traces the engraved details of it with the tips of his fingers. He yearns for training, for strength... He wants to be the one he was before. He wants to-

He wants Wakatoshi not to see him like this anymore.

“Ne, Ushiwaka-chan...”

Wakatoshi turns to look at him from the pool. “What is it, Oikawa?” Ancalagon slips into the water as well – despite his hugeness, not a drop of water splashes around. The gems stuck in the rocky walls shine under the moonlight, giving everything a surreal appearance.

Tooru's grip on the weapon tightens.

“I want you to train me.”

After hearing no immediate response, he takes in a deep breath.

“After this week, when I'm fully healed, I want you to train me.”

Because he can't allow himself to stay so vulnerable. Shiratorizawa and Wakatoshi might be safe, they might take care of him, but he can't risk it anymore. He wants to be strong again, even if he is on his own.

Wakatoshi stares at him for a long while, expression completely unreadable. Tooru is about to tell him that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, that he can do it on his own. But then, Wakatoshi is stepping out of the water, a hand grabbing a towel. He wipes himself until he is dry and then wears a pair of pants – he doesn't bother with putting on a shirt and Tooru's eyes lose themselves in tanned muscle, broad and strong and so perfectly balanced...

And then he is approached.

When he is by him, Wakatoshi kneels down, until they are so close Tooru can feel the heat irradiating from him. His hand absentmindedly pulls the sheet higher, until it reaches the middle of Tooru's back.

“As you wish.”

Tooru swallows.

“But for now, have a little patience.”

Tooru doesn't try to contest it. He's waited for five years. One more week is nothing.

***

“Focus on your breathing,” Wakatoshi tells him.

And Tooru does.

He closes his eyes for a moment – he needs to regain control of his capabilities, needs to get used to the bow, consider it a part of him. He can't believe just how much damage his senses suffer from.

But the weapon once again is proved to be of an incredible quality.

Wakatoshi was right: it seems to be built just for him.

Tooru pulls the string.

He breathes.

He eyes one of the targets Wakatoshi prepared for him.

And then, he lets go.

The arrow hits it perfectly, in the center. Tooru can't hold back a grin. When he turns around, he finds gold eyes widened and lips slightly parted. He chuckles. “That was good, huh?” He can't help but feel proud of himself – being able to leave Wakatoshi with an open mouth sure feels great.

He admires the view for a short while, then turns around again and shoots another arrow, this time without thinking. He doesn't do a perfect hit this time, but he doesn't miss either.

He clicks with his tongue – he will have to practice a lot.

***

In the evenings, Tooru lets Wakatoshi maneuver his leg. He watches as the man bends it, then straightens it out, then bends it again... It doesn't hurt.

_It doesn't hurt._

(Tooru wishes he could just wrap both of them around Wakatoshi's waist, to pull him closer, closer until they blend together into one.)

***

“ _Lady Alisa wishes to see you,” Satori announces as he opens the door to the cell. It is already dark outside, Tooru sprawled on the cold floor, a few thin garments thrown over him – he doesn't have the strength to put them on. He just got back, so why does he have to leave again?_

_His legs and hips hurt._

_But it doesn't matter, because, when he doesn't stand up, a guard comes in, yanking him by his hair and pulling until he obeys._

“ _Now now, we want him to be presentable for the future queen. Don't overdo it.”_

_The guard lets him go, and Tooru lets out a shaky breath._

_Satori stands in front of him, his grin impossibly wild. Tooru knows this can't be a sign of something good._

“ _Let's go, Tooru-chan.”_

_Tooru takes a step forward, then another, hissing ever so slightly at the pain blooming from his body with even the slightest of movements. Suguru didn't hold back – he never does, but this time he was more brutal than usual._

_Satori makes him wear those clothes, but doesn't move a finger to help him. As they exit the dungeons, Satori halts, causing Tooru to halt too, almost bumping into him._

_In front of them stands a short man, with light hair and catlike eyes. Tooru looks down at him and immediately notices the armor he is wearing, shiny and engraved, with the arms of the cats. He belongs to the Lady's personal guards and Tooru can't help but feel his stomach drop._

_Alisa had been kind to him when he was sick._

_But now..._

_Suguru's been calling him to his rooms even more often than he used to when he was just brought here. What if she's mad because of that? What if she wants her guards to have a go with him as well?_

“ _I shall take the prisoner to Lady Alisa in person.”_

_Satori hums. “Oh, are you sure you are going to be able to handle Tooru-chan? He certainly doesn't seem so, but he is strong. I wouldn't want him to escape, you know?”_

_The smaller man's expression turns into a scowl, and he straightens up. “Those were Lady Alisa's explicit orders. You are dismissed, Tendō-san.”_

_Satori chuckles. “Hai, hai, Yaku-chan. I'll see you at dinner,” he sing songs and takes a hold of Tooru, pushing him in front of the other soldier. Tooru's legs don't manage to support his weight, and he ends up collapsing to his knees._

_Winter is about to come, and the weather certainly doesn't help his body stay in shape – it happens every year, and every year it gets worse and worse._

_Satori walks away, and the other waits for him to disappear completely, before he rushes down to Tooru, checking on him. “Are you alright? Can you stand?” Tooru really wants to say no – it would be the truth, after all, but he doesn't want to risk it. So he pulls of a small smile and says that yes, he can. Yaku helps him, stands by him as he catches the hisses that want to escape his lips before they do._

_Then, they walk._

_Alisa waits for them in her room, dressed in a simple, white nightgown. Tooru can't help but stare a little, both because of her beauty and of the strange combination: he has never seen her wearing anything but red. The white makes her seem paler than what she actually is (or is it the red that makes her skin look less ghostly?), her eyes the only bit of color on her. Thankfully, the candles lighting up the room give her warmer tones all over._

“ _My lady,” Tooru mutters, lowering his eyes when she catches him staring._

“ _Oh my, what has he done to you this time...” she whispers and Tooru suddenly remembers of the dark mark on his neck and immediately brings his hand up to cover it, wordlessly._

_She approaches him and removes it and Tooru lets her._

“ _Yaku.”_

“ _Yes, my lady?”_

“ _He is staying here tonight,” she announces, turning on her heel and taking a hold of the towels on one of the tables in the room. “Nobody must see him going in and out of here.”_

_Tooru listens to her every word, a bit uncertain. The tub is in that same room, and Alisa doesn't seem to want to leave anytime soon – but then, why would she? It is her room after all. She sits on her bed, her eyes lost somewhere out the window, onto the colors of the fall faded because of the night sky._

“ _Please, take off your clothes, Oikawa,” Yaku says quietly, and despite the uncommon request – men and women should not see each other naked unless it is to copulate – he obeys. The clothes he is wearing are too light for the upcoming cold weather, but until now, no one ever seemed to care. If he falls sick, they are once again take care of him until he heals and then everything will start all over again._

_When he is fully naked, Alisa stands up._

_There is a long moment of silence between all of them._

_Until Alisa finally approaches him, slowly._

_Her hand reaches out, her gentle fingers tracing all the purple marks blooming on pale skin. Tooru can see the pity in her eyes, and although he doesn't want it, he can't help but appreciate it dearly. She then touches his ribs – they have started to pop out a bit more than usual, the strain his body goes through almost every day taking its toll on his body._

“ _Yaku, go to the kitchens and have a proper meal prepared and delivered here.”_

_The guard nods and immediately heads out, leaving the two alone._

_Alisa motions to the tub, and Tooru follows her wordless order, walking to it and stepping in. He can feel her mismatched eyes piercing into his back, and they stay on him as he washes himself quickly. The water is amazing, on the right edge between hot and warm._

“ _If it feels good, you can take your time,” she says, reaching him and kneeling next to him._

_She scrubs him thoroughly, washing his back and hair while he numbly sits, not really knowing what to do. He lets her clean his face, lets her help him stand up and wrap a towel around him. He lets her dry him – his shoulders and chest, then his legs – and accepts with gratitude the comfortable clothes she gives him._

_They are heavier than the ones he wears in his cell. More adequate to the temperature._

“ _Why are you helping me?”_

_It slips out before he can control it._

_Alisa blinks a few times, then sits back on the bed._

“ _One day, you will understand, Oikawa-kun.”_

_The meal Yaku brings makes him realize just how much he's been starving since the beginning of the week. He eats slowly, empties bowl after bowl, plate after plate, until there is nothing more left._

“ _Would you like some wine? To help you sleep,” Alisa asks._

_And then it dawns on him._

_Just_ where _is he going to sleep? He looks around but doesn't see any couches or a corner with a dropped sheet for him to sleep on. Alisa soon dismisses Yaku, telling him to stand by the door until his shift ends, and the small boy nods, bowing and then exiting the room for good._

_Tooru feels a gentle hand on his back and when he turns around to look at the young woman next to him, he finds a cup being offered to him. He takes it with a quiet thank you and drinks it down. This wine tastes really good._

“ _Feel free to lie down, Oikawa-kun. You must feel exhausted.”_

“ _Umm... Where should I...” He pauses._

_And Alisa understands._

“ _You can share my bed. It is large enough for both of us and at least another person. At least you'll be warm for tonight.”_

_She seems to read his concerns and smiles. “Do not worry. I have no ill intentions towards you.”_

_Tooru once again wants to ask why. But he remembers her reply. One day he'll understand. Will he?_

_He lies in bed, with Alisa crawling underneath the sheets with him. He sighs at the softness of the mattress and pillows, and when he finally exhales, it feels like pounds and pounds of weight have just been lifted from his body. He closes his eyes, his wounds forcing him to give in._

_Alisa's hand finds its way to his under the covers, even though he makes sure not to look at her too much, to avoid creating any more compromising situations for both of them – he doesn't know what he'd do if she was chased away from the castle._

“ _Oikawa-kun,” her gentle voice echoes in the silent room. The candles are starting to go off one by one._

“ _You won't stay here forever.”_

_A gentle kiss follows, on the curve of his shoulder. It is light, and barely perceptible through his clothes, but he can feel it. His breath hitches in his throat._

_Slowly, Alisa manages to make him move, turning him around so they are facing each other and soon enough, Tooru finds himself surrounded by her warmth, his face buried in her chest, her arms protectively wrapped around him. Tooru closes his eyes, inhaling her sweet scent._

_It feels nice._

“ _I promise you that.”_

_He nods, his heart beating a little faster. Despite wanting to, he doesn't reach out to wrap his arms around her as well. But he doesn't pull away either._

***

“How about sword fighting? Are you good at it?” Tooru asks one day. The day is particularly hot, but they train nonetheless – Tooru gets used to his capabilities, Wakatoshi polishes his own even more.

“Yes,” Wakatoshi replies. Simple and honest. As usual.

Tooru releases the umpteenth arrow, the shot perfect.

He relaxes his posture and looks at Wakatoshi with hungry eyes. “Can you teach me?”

Wakatoshi agrees. However, some time later into the day, as they put on a fireplace and eat some cooked rabbit, Wakatoshi asks the obvious question. “Why do you want to learn to use a sword? I thought you only wanted to learn archery.”

Tooru hums and, after swallowing his bite, proceeds to explain. “That was when I used to have a knight. But I don't have one anymore. I'm not a prince anymore. I will never be a king.” The words feel weird on his tongue, but they are the truth. “I have to take care of myself from now on, and archery is not so great in close combat. And even though I don't plan on fighting in the future, you never know. I just can't hope to rely on someone whenever something comes up.” The reference is clear enough not to need to be explained further.

Wakatoshi says nothing for a long time, and Tooru doesn't force it.

Silence is comfortable between them.

Of course, Tooru has the pleasure to find out the next day, Wakatoshi's skills in sword fighting are the best has has ever seen. And he's seen _a lot_ – from the tournaments between knights in Aobajōsai, to the ones he was forced to watch during his stay in Nohebi. Hajime used to be a great fighter, but the man performing in front of him would beat him without too many problems.

Tooru watches as Wakatoshi shatters with single blows every piece of target they set up in the morning. The fact that he is using a wooden sword and doing this kind of damage, makes Tooru wonder just how easily he could slice a person with a real blade.

He prepares himself for a lot of falling and a lot of new bruises and wounds.

And he obtains that.

After catching a grip on the basics he was taught as a child, Wakatoshi begins to teach him how to behave in one-on-one combat. It is slow and easy during the first days, but then it starts to become rougher. Tooru finds himself often being hit on his wrists, on his sides, or his calves – Wakatoshi always makes sure not to harm his bad knee in any way.

He also falls a lot.

And it is more than obvious that Wakatoshi is holding back, but still, all those blows hurt and leave their marks. But they are nothing compared to what a real battle could bring upon him.

Tooru knows, because he saw.

***

In the middle of another sleepless night, as Wakatoshi sleeps, Tooru can't help but let himself lose in his features. Then, after thousands of considerations, after his brain becomes a puddle of messy thoughts and fears, Tooru moves forward, until he feels a strong arm pressed against his chest.

He really likes when Wakatoshi sleeps on his back.

He gathers his courage and tries it.

One gentle peck on a muscled shoulder.

Light.

Feathery.

Imperceptible.

Tooru wonders just how overwhelming it would be if he could give himself to Wakatoshi when only a mere brush of lips on hot skin managed to make him feel like melting.

***

The conversation is brought up weeks later.

It is still day outside, but the candles are already lit up, shining with the gems. Ancalagon sleeps peacefully on top of his gold, snoring loudly.

None of them seems to mind.

Tooru sits on the edge of the pool, his legs dipping in the water, Wakatoshi behind him, putting ice and all sorts of creams on his newest bruises. Tooru chuckles at some point, among the winces and hisses, his thoughts playing tricks on him, the frustration getting bigger and bigger every passing day.

But he can't deny the satisfaction that grows on him after every day of training – his body it regaining its shape, his muscles defining day after day. Sure, they won't grow like Wakatoshi's – Tooru is aware his structure isn't made for that, but this is not bad at all. He mindlessly runs a hand over his ribs sighing at the feeling of fresh and clean bandages against his skin.

These are bruises he is proud of.

“Are you alright, Oikawa?”

Tooru just nods, closing his eyes.

Suddenly, the cold sensation against his shoulders is replaced by big, warm hands, and they slide up to his neck and then once again, down to his shoulders, rubbing gently against tense flesh. His head drops to the side, his lips parting. He can feel every single muscle loosening, relaxing, can feel the gentle press of fingers against his spine...

“Blood and what comes with it never change,” Wakatoshi suddenly changes.

Tooru opens his eyes, blinks once, twice... He doesn't think he heard it right, and if he did, he doesn't think he understands.

“Excuse me?”

He feels his hand being raised up and then those callused fingers are running over Tooru's wrist, the thumb tracing the veins glimpsing underneath pale skin. Gold eyes seem lost in them as the hand traces up to Tooru's forearm. Tooru wants to speak, to ask, but his words once again don't listen.

(They never do.)

“You will always be an heir to the throne. Only because you were unable to immediately succeed your father because of an attack, it does not mean that your people do not want you.” Tooru keeps staying silent, even as Wakatoshi's eyes meet his, even as his arm stops tingling, used to Wakatoshi's warmth. “No one can take that away from you if you don't want them to.”

“What's this all about?” It finally comes out of him.

Wakatoshi resumes icing his wounds. He cools down a bruise on his arm he missed before. He pulls his legs out of the water, raising them up and then turning around so he is facing and fitting Wakatoshi between them. He spreads them, one at each side of the stronger man.

Wakatoshi doesn't seem to mind, so Tooru shifts even closer. His fingers are being played with, Wakatoshi is tracing every knuckle, every new callus forming on the tips.

“You spoke with melancholy that day. I thought you might be missing your home.”

Tooru's eyes widen and he instinctively closes his hand around Wakatoshi's. He is not able to control it. His legs also press towards each other, caging Wakatoshi's torso between them even more. Tooru lets him shift and adjust so he is sitting between Wakatoshi's legs as well.

It feels nice.

His lips curve up, his brown eyes starting to burn ever so slightly. “I do miss my home. I miss my parents,” he says quietly, his chest clenching when he sees Wakatoshi's eyes lowering further. “But believe me, I am more grateful to be alive and healthy right now. I don't think I could even go back to Seijō to see it, let along plan on taking it back. I have no armies, nor will to fight.” Because he doesn't – he might have loved everything he owned, his people, his parents, his Iwa-chan.

But none of that ever helped him when he really needed it.

“Oikawa.”

“Yes?”

“I can take you back whenever you want.”

Tooru lets out a halfhearted laugh. “Do you want me to leave?”

Wakatoshi raises an eyebrow and looks back at him, confusion written all over his face. “That was not what I meant. If you like being here, you are the most welcome. I just thought-”

Tooru shakes his head. “The point is, at least for now, that I don't want to go.” _I want to stay here, with you. With Ancalagon. With_ no one _else._

It takes Tooru a while before he lets go of Wakatoshi's hand.

***

Weeks of training become months, and every day Wakatoshi shows Tooru a different side of him, shows him more and more strength, more and more of his heart... He smiles more, although it is still a rather rare occasion, he also seems to appreciate Tooru more, look at him less like a nuisance and more like a valuable asset.

Tooru likes that.

And he does everything he can to make himself useful. He hunts with him, skins his own preys, makes plans for the next days. During the day, he has no time to think, and it helps him suppressing his own feelings and needs.

His needs...

He's been craving Wakatoshi for weeks now, ever since that night at the hot springs, but the training has made it worse. It's weird, he thinks as he lies down beside Wakatoshi, who is sound asleep, his back facing him. He thought he acted that night to show him his gratefulness and forgot to notice what his own mind and body were telling him. When there is silence, they become louder, and ever since Tooru's life returned to normal more or less, he started to realize just how much his body reacts to Wakatoshi's presence, even when he orders it not to.

Even now, the burning in his abdomen does everything but cease, and after lots of breathing and thinking about everything else but how much he just wants to flip Wakatoshi on his back and ride him until they are both panting and boneless messes. He tries to tell himself that he can't because of Ancalagon – Wakatoshi told him how the beast never approved when he touched his previous lover too much.

But then, Tooru and Wakatoshi touch a lot – sure, it is not romantic or sentimental (at least not on Wakatoshi's part, Tooru thinks), but it's still a lot. And Ancalagon doesn't usually do anything but give them an eventual glance or snort.

Eventually, his urges manage to chase away his doubts, the burning feeling in his abdomen turning insufferable, and he finally finds himself reaching for his already half hard cock. A gasps escape his lips and he immediately covers them with his free hand.

It's been _so_ long.

And Tooru really wants to savor this moment, to enjoy it to the fullest, but he knows he can't. If he moves too much, Wakatoshi will wake up and he certainly doesn't want him to see him like this. So he moves his hand quickly, finding the rhythm that makes him feel good enough to feel the jolts of pleasure at the bottom of his spine.

He turns underneath the sheets ever so slightly, so his face is buried in the pillow underneath his head, but making sure he is able to look at Wakatoshi from the corner of his eye.

During the last five years, his body was abused countless times, and very few of them managed to bring him to a release, but the damage was done, and now Tooru finds himself needing more than just a simple hold over his cock. He wishes he were alone, so he could move a bit more, so he could bring a hand behind himself to fill his twitching hole with his fingers, but that won't do right now.

His hold on himself tightens and his breathing hitches in his throat. His teeth sink into his index finger as he tries to keep his hips from snapping.

Wakatoshi still doesn't move, and Tooru's eyes lose themselves between his shoulderblades.

Then, it is inevitable – his mind rushes in, makes him picture Wakatoshi waking up and seeing him like this, makes him see what it would be like if he were the one doing all these things to him.

Suddenly, the fact they see each other naked on a daily basis doesn't help – sure, Tooru's always loved looking at Wakatoshi's body, more out of admiration for the results of his constant training than as an object of sexual fantasies.

But right now, he can't avoid thinking about Wakatoshi's thick cock pressed against his ass, as he fingers him open – he can imagine those long fingers curling up in the right spot, those callused fingertips brushing over his prostate until he melts.

He imagines that strong body bending him over, forcing him on his hands and knees, those strong hands spreading his buttocks and-

And it is enough.

That single image of Wakatoshi holding him against himself, his hot breath in his ear, and a brush of his own thumb against his slit. And he comes. He feels blood in his mouth as his teeth break the skin of his finger, but a soft moan escapes him nonetheless. His whole body tenses and then begins to shake as he rides through his high and when it's done, it relaxes, feeling heavier than before.

He takes in deep breaths, his heart drumming in his chest impossibly fast. He rolls on his back, panting heavily – the holding back not doing any good to his lungs - the hand on his mouth moving up to his forehead to wipe away the sweat and remove the bangs from his face.

He needed this so badly.

After regaining some of his focus, he sits up, trying to be as careful as possible not to touch Wakatoshi and then looks for the towel he's learned to keep by himself every night. It was of a great use to him when he used to wake up during the night, sweaty and shaking because of the nightmares.

He wipes his hand and his now once again limp cock, his breathing still a bit irregular, and when he is sure he hasn't missed a spot, he throws it back where he found it, near the rocky wall close to his feet and lies back down. He takes in another deep breath, and when he finally decides he is good to sleep, he turns on his side like he always does, and his eyes widen when he sees Wakatoshi facing him.

It is dark in the cave, but the light coming from the crater and the gems it makes shine provide enough light for Tooru to notice a slight spark in Wakatoshi's eyes, enough light for Tooru to realize the man beside him was awake for probably this whole time.

His stomach suddenly begins to burn, while the rest of his body feels frozen.

Should he say something? Should he just close his eyes and pretend to sleep, even though he's been clearly caught. Masturbation is a normal action, but Wakatoshi already rejected him for acting like a needy slave back then, and yet Tooru still dared to do this right here, beside him...

He brings a hand to his mouth, moves back ever so slightly, only to remember he doesn't have much space left, the rocks close to his back.

Was Wakatoshi awake even when he stole those kisses from him? When he snuggled willingly against him and decided to blame it on the sleeping the next morning? Even though it happened a moment ago, he doesn't remember. Did he moan something obscene, said his name perhaps?

He feels himself starting to shake. He closes his eyes, sliding the hand on his mouth up, so it covers them instead. He wishes the earth could just swallow him whole and never let him see the light again.

“Oikawa.”

There it is...

Tooru waits for it patiently, waits for Wakatoshi to move away and go to sleep somewhere else.

But it doesn't happen.

“Sleep,” he tells him instead and Tooru dares to look again, eyes wide.

And then Wakatoshi's eyes are closing, that light sparkle disappearing and Tooru stays still for a long time. Just watching.

***

Tooru doesn't find his style of fighting until two more months later. Wakatoshi attacks him brutally, but Tooru's talent in analyzing his opponents finally comes in handy, finally awakening after countless soliciting coming from Wakatoshi's part.

Tooru knows he wouldn't be able to stand a chance without his instinct ready to burst.

Now he is starting to feel it – he sees as Wakatoshi comes at him once more, but this time he appears to be in slow motion. And Tooru has gotten used to the way he fights. There are very few openings where he could strike back, and he searches for them as the man approaches.

His eyes focus on his legs.

His mind clicks.

The slow motion ends, and Tooru charges forward, dodging a hit that would have definitely earned him a broken rib or two, and bending his legs slightly before kicking forward, right underneath Wakatoshi's knee. The man lets out a surprised gasp and Tooru takes this moment to use his leg to make him lose the rest of his balance, forcing him to trip.

Wakatoshi ends up falling forward, but somehow manages to turn around before hitting the ground. Before he has the chance to react, Tooru kicks away the sword from his hand before blocking him by standing on his leg with one foot, pressing against his dominant hand with the other.

He presses the edge of his wooden sword against Wakatoshi's throat, his adrenaline on fire.

Then, he stops.

Brown eyes grow wide as he meets Wakatoshi's raised eyebrows.

It takes him a long moment to process what just happened, what he just _did._ And then it is stronger than him, his lips fail to contain the grin blooming on his face, all teeth.

“Well, well, Ushiwaka-chan... Looks like I won this round.”

Underneath him, Wakatoshi is smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there.
> 
> Here is another chapter for you - I know it's late again, but I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately; school is killing me. My teachers are just merciless, sadistic bastards who just love to put us poor students in deep shit whenever they feel like it.
> 
> So yeah, between the various subjects I had to study, I wrote. It is not the best chapter I've done, but I hope you like it even a little bit. To be honest, I was able to update today because I've been stuck in bed with a fluu for a week now and I had some time to finish this.
> 
> So yes, Oikawa is finally becoming strong again and Ushiwaka loves watching him and his potential grow. I really hope I manage to update during the Christmas holidays - I already know what to write, I just need to add some details in the plot and then I'll be writing it down ( but I first have to survive next week's philosophy test, haha).
> 
> And yes, Oikawa-san... Ushiwaka-chan caught you being dirty, haha. What are you gonna do about it? Fortunately, Ushijima is a good cookie and doesn't tease (because I definitely would).
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for every single Kudo, Bookmark and Comment. I appreciate them dearly.
> 
> I'll see ya at the next update I guess!


	9. Mating Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no sound but the one of splashing water and Tooru finally gains some courage to pull Wakatoshi with him. The man swims along, until their feet are on the rocks, until the water reaches their chests.
> 
> “Kiss me,” Tooru says at one point. Wakatoshi opens his mouth to say something, but Tooru shakes his head. “I know what you're thinking, but I want it. I really want it,” he assures him, his big brown eyes staring into gold like they've never dared to before.

The smug smile on Tooru's face doesn't disappear that evening.

It definitely feels weird – for the first time since he got here, he is the one putting bandages on Wakatoshi. His hand is bruised from Tooru's defensive attack, from his foot pressing against it as he held him down. He let him go only when he realized it wasn't a dream; Wakatoshi didn't urge him at all.

Tooru probably understands it.

He must have wanted him to finally feel in control in something – if the roles were reversed, he would have probably done the same.

They sit at the edge of the pool, a few empty bowls beside them. Tooru makes sure he puts the bandages right, having watched Wakatoshi doing it so many times, makes sure they are not too tight, but that they don't fall off either. Wakatoshi says nothing as he carefully envelops his fingers, one by one, as he sews the fabric and ties its limbs in the right places.

He doesn't apologize for hurting him – Wakatoshi didn't apologize for the bruises he left on him either. It is not needed; it was practice and it was inevitable.

.

The next morning Tooru wakes up before dawn, before the light is out – the cave is still dark, but Tooru knows his way around it by now. He quietly slips out of their sleeping place, not touching Wakatoshi even if he has to crawl over him to get out of his spot.

Ancalagon raises its head upon seeing him move, but Tooru only brings a finger to his lips, hoping the beast will understand and not make any noise.

He quietly puts on his clothes, smiling a little when he feels them a little tight around his shoulders, just how they are supposed to be. They were once large on him despite the fact that he picked them after trying them on, but he meant for them to last. He takes a hold of his favorite weapon and exits the cave through the secret passage, inhaling the fresh air as he steps onto the damp grass. The air is much thicker lately, sticking to his skin uncomfortably and making his clothes heavy to wear. He holds his bow in his right hand, adjusting the quiver on his back so it doesn't move around.

It is his first time hunting alone – sure, he's learned everything he needs to know about the forest around the extinct volcano by now, but still, not having Wakatoshi by his side makes everything seem different. Fortunately, the fact that Wakatoshi showed him a few marks he left on some trees back in the days, reassures him. He knows where to look.

Without thinking too much, he walks into the trees, enters the dark forest. The sun is about to come out – he maybe has an hour and he has to make the most of it before the largest of preys retire into their liars until the next night.

He wants to make up to Wakatoshi for wounding his hand, so there is no room for error.

Six months passed so quickly, he muses. When he was a prisoner, time seemed frozen, and now the days seem to be so short – but it is probably because they always do something interesting. After his complete recovery, he's maybe only ever had a couple of days to stay in the cave doing nothing. And he still feels guilty about them, even though they were meant for his bruises to heal a bit before they resumed practice.

Tooru doesn't like to slack off.

He didn't like it when he was still a prince and could afford lazying around – instead, he took the command of the military and organized their strategies and then, in his free time, he studied a lot, just to improve himself and then the others – and he doesn't like it n0w. Wakatoshi is always active, always doing something useful, for both of them. And he wants to do the same.

He wants to give him today whole to rest.

During his training, he's learned how to be quiet, how to be fast. He spots a deer a little further away from him despite the lack of light. He silently pulls out an arrow, then proceeds to pull the string. He aims at the animal's head – that one spot Wakatoshi told him about that kills the animal instantly, without it having to suffer.

The deer doesn't seem to notice him, doesn't move at all.

It is the only condition he needs to make his arrow hit the mark, even though the darkness doesn't help. The risk of missing is extremely high, but he takes it as a challenge.

He lets go of the string, the arrow shots forward at an incredible speed, and soon, the animal is collapsing. He holds his breath for a second, before he runs towards it, not really believing his eyes.

A chance of an instant kill by aiming at the head is improbable for so many reasons, but, he soon finds out, he did it. He stares at the dead animal almost in disbelief.

He did it.

The deer's body is frozen in place. Tooru runs his hand through the incredibly soft fur – the animal is, _was_ definitely young. Wakatoshi told him about the differences, and the texture of the fur is one way to identify them and also, this one lacks development in its muscles, so it was definitely a youngster. Tooru muses that it's better this way, since it will be at least easy to carry back. They might use it as another blanket to put in their sleeping place.

He ties the animal's legs together with the rope he always holds tied around his quiver and proceeds to take it up his back like a backpack. It feels a bit weird – usually Wakatoshi is the one carrying the large animals, while Tooru tends to carry rabbits and birds – but he is glad that he'll be able to take care of this on his own.

Tooru can see the light gray shades in the sky when he looks up – the sun is already out, although completely covered - and this means that Wakatoshi is most likely already awake. He unconsciously quickens his pace, moving through the bushes with ease, without earning himself even a scratch.

Fitting into the cave's entrance with the prey is harder than he thought. The space is small and cramped and more than once does Tooru find himself stuck and forced to stop and think on how to turn to fit through it. Eventually, he manages to get in and lets out a tired huff.

“Oikawa?”

Wakatoshi's voice echoes through the enormous space. The first thing Tooru notices is the lack of Ancalagon, but he immediately shrugs it off. It is probably out, hunting for something to eat as well – though it is weird not finding him in in the early morning.

He finally decides to show himself to Wakatoshi, who is sitting up, the furry blankets covering him from the waist down. A strong hand gently dives among the locks of his dark hair, scratching gently. The wounded one rests on his lap..

Tooru's lips curve up. “I brought us today's meals.”

Wakatoshi blinks, raising an eyebrow. “You went out to hunt on your own?”

“Yup,” Tooru nods.

He carefully slides the deer down his back, being careful when laying it on the ground. He feels gold staring at him and feels a shiver running down his spine. They've never been all alone like this so early in the morning, the silence so pleasant – more than he could imagine. It is still rather dark in here, but there is enough light coming from the sky to see.

Tooru proceeds to put away his bow and quiver and then heads to sit next to Wakatoshi with his legs crossed. His eyes observe him whole, from his face to his chest, to his abdomen, his gaze not concealing how much he'd like to throw that blanket aside with his own hands.

“What is the weather like?”

“It's going to rain soon, most likely.”

Wakatoshi nods. “I suppose we could take a day off with your training. We both need to rest,” he says, glancing then at his hand.

Tooru hums, his body moving on its own accord and crawling on top of the blanket, until he it straddling Wakatoshi's legs. The whole atmosphere of the cave is cooler now that Ancalagon is gone. The water is still irradiating warmth, but the steam isn't thick.

“How's your hand?”

“It is going to be alright.”

Tooru smiles. “I'll be taking care of the meat then.”

***

A few days later, they are still on their own.

“Ne, Ushiwaka-chan?”

The rain isn't falling yet. But if the humidity was bad before, it is now unbearable.

“What is it?”

“Where's Ancalagon?” Tooru asks, staring at the unprotected pile of treasure on the other side of the cave. Wakatoshi lays down his book, the few candles they have light up not enough to keep reading. Tooru picks up the bowl with the berries he went to pick up a few hours ago and offers it to him. Wakatoshi declines.

“It is mating season.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow. “Mating season? Does it mean he will bring back eggs?” His eyes widen a little with anticipation – during the period of time in which he has lived here, he's had the pleasure to encounter many hatchlings, and of course couldn't help himself from falling in love with them.

“No, Ancalagon is still too young to have his own eggs.”

Tooru isn't quite sure he understands. “Then why is he away?”

Wakatoshi's eyes move to the pile of gold, and Tooru swears they become brighter. “Dragons mate during rainy seasons. Although it takes about a century for a dragon to become ready to reproduce, it does not mean the young ones do not have their role in the process. Young dragons like Ancalagon provide the rain: they fly over the sea and release heat, making the water evaporate and create the atmpsphere, while the older dragons mate and lay eggs.”

The explanation is very simple and yet precise, and Tooru can't help but feel fascinated by it. “So this,” he asks, pointing at the dark gray sky, “is the dragons' work?”

“Yes, it is.”

Tooru shuts his mouth, eyes still wide in disbelief as he looks up. He says nothing for a long time, and all of a sudden Wakatoshi is behind him, heat irradiating form him as well. Tooru looks at him and is met by a raised eyebrow and a slightly confused look. “Are you alright?”

Tooru nods. “Yeah, I'm just... amazed. I've never heard about something like this where I come from. Sure, there are some dragons at Aobajōsai, but they are mostly kept in captivity,” he tells him and notices how Wakatoshi's brows furrow and his lips curve down.

He must have his some kind of nerve, but he decides not to mention anything about it and let it go. But there is still one thing he craves to know. “Does this mean he will be gone for a while?”

Wakatoshi nods. “Yes, although I cannot give you an exact amount of time – it can vary from two weeks to a month.” Tooru's mind takes a while to process the fact that they will be alone during that time, but when the realization sinks, he feels relieved. And kind of happy - although he believes it might be a little weird to get used to it; after all, Ancalagon's always been around.

Brown eyes move to the pile of treasure once more. “So he just leaves all of his treasure unprotected?” He stands up from his spot, then carefully approaches it.

Even after six months, Ancalagon still doesn't trust him enough – he growls whenever he approaches the gold too much, whenever he stares at it for too long. He lowers on his legs when a few steps away, and he immediately feels Wakatoshi's gaze on his back.

“The other dragons usually do not live with humans. Their treasure is hidden, but Ancalagon trusts me and leaves it here, knowing he will find every single coin when he returns.”

Tooru hesitates a lot, but then he eventually reaches out with his hand and lays it upon the gold. “It's warm,” he tells Wakatoshi and he immediately hears him standing up. He pulls his hand away, thinking that he might have made a big mistake in touching what is not his, but then Wakatoshi sits next to him.

The warmth still sticks to his skin.

Tooru's eyes move on him, instantly, instinctively.

Wakatoshi is glowing, the gold reflecting on his white, cotton shirt, on his exposed arms, on his face, in his _eyes_. And he feels his stomach sinking, his heart threatening to explode. He wants to touch him.

“Ne, Ushiwaka-chan?”

“Yes?”

“What can I do to make Ancalagon trust me too?”

Because before he can express whatever he feels for Wakatoshi, he needs to get along with his dragon. He recalls Wakatoshi telling him it is protective about whatever is his. And Wakatoshi is his too.

Gold stares at him and he feels its weight on himself, but this time he doesn't back down. “I know he still hasn't accepted me to the fullest. But I want him to, I _really_ do.” His voice leaves him then and he lowers his eyes, staring at Wakatoshi's still bandaged hand. “I don't want to worry about stepping too close to all of this.” He also doesn't want to be at the receiving end of angry glares whenever he wakes up with an arm wrapped around Wakatoshi, or with his head on his shoulder.

Hesitantly, he takes one of the coins in his hand, examines it, enjoys more of the warmth it leaves on the skin.

“The easiest way to earn trust and sympathy of a dragon that is not yours would be contributing to its treasure lot. That way, it would not see you as a threat anymore.”

Tooru listens to every word, but it doesn't help him getting better. “But I have nothing.”

Wakatoshi hums slightly, focusing on the way Tooru's fingers play with the coin, turning it around every now and then, before finally putting it back where he found it.

“I shall think about something then,” Wakatoshi says at some point.

Tooru bites his lip in frustration.

Then, he shakes his head.

“No, this is not something I can allow you to do. I have to find something on my own.”

He hears a light chuckle coming as soon as he speaks those words. He glances at Wakatoshi's face and sees a light smile on his face, his eyes fondly gazing over the treasure. “I was with Ancalagon for every single item you have in front of yourself.” Tooru watches as those lips curve up even more. “I remember when there were only a few coins.”

And Tooru can hardly imagine it – a child Wakatoshi with a pet dragon, small enough to fit his hand and a few coins they carried around with themselves wherever they went.

“I hope I can be here for the rest of it then,” he finds himself saying. And when Wakatoshi's eyes widen, his eyebrows raise and Tooru smiles. He then turns around until they are facing each other. He takes a hold of his injured hand and proceeds to slowly unwrap the bandages.

By now, they are only on him for precaution.

But still, Tooru unwraps every single finger with care, slowly, and enjoys the silence surrounding them. His fingers linger on every part of Wakatoshi's left hand, but not enough to make it weird. Wakatoshi blinks, his head involuntarily lowering and moving forward and Tooru can't help but think how little does he need to do for their foreheads to touch.

When the hand is exposed, Tooru is glad to find no swelling. It is dark around them once again, the only source of light being the fire lit up on the other side of the hand, and the red and gold shades reflecting next to them, and Tooru can't see whether the skin is red or back to normal, but as he runs his hands over it, Wakatoshi doesn't react, not even a slightest wince.

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“That's good.”

They say nothing more after that.

.

That night, the humidity is making him crazy. Tooru can't fall asleep no matter how hard he tries. He is completely unable to stay still in their sleeping place and is now wandering around the cave, running his hands through his damp hair.

Wakatoshi doesn't seem to have the same problem, as he just keeps observing him from under a light cover.

Tooru curses loudly.

Breathing is almost impossible right now – it feels like he is inhaling drops of water with every breath, like his lungs are being flooded and then sealed in his throat. He feels bile raising in his throat, but he swallows it down, bringing a hand to cover his mouth.

The clothes are sticking uncomfortably to his skin, the amount of sweat he produces not making it any better. It doesn't take long before he takes off everything, throwing the garments away carelessly and then sitting down on the cool rocks.

“Oikawa, are you not feeling well?”

Tooru usually appreciates the questions Wakatoshi asks, even when they mostly have an obvious answer painted in front of him. This time, both because of the humidity and the lack of sleep that's been haunting him for nights, he snaps: “Do I look like I'm feeling well?” His voice comes out louder than planned, and he immediately regrets it. He mumbles an apology without looking back, cursing himself this time and burying his hands in his hair some more.

He hears Wakatoshi moving behind him, then the sound of a few boxes being open, a few rocks being moved. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on his breathing. The air is intoxicating, it is making his senses weak and uncertain of their surroundings – he doesn't even notice Wakatoshi approaching until there is something cool pressing against the back of his neck.

He winces, wants to turn around, but Wakatoshi stops him with reassuring pressure against his shoulder.

It takes a moment for Tooru to realize that he is pressing ice against him, wrapped in a soft cloth. He exhales heavily and leans into the touch, feeling Wakatoshi's chest against his arm and a reassuring hand on his lower back. Their skins are sticky, but Tooru doesn't want Wakatoshi to move away.

“I can't take this...” he mumbles, closing his eyes when Wakatoshi squeezes his side gently.

“You are not used to this level humidity. However, I can assure you it is going to start raining soon and then you will feel better.” Then, Wakatoshi proceeds to slide the cloth down his spine, then up again. Tooru doesn't know for how long he repeats that simple motion, but at some point, he feels his eyelids getting heavy and falls asleep with his head resting on Wakatoshi's shoulder.

***

It finally starts raining in the evening of the next day, and as soon as the rich drops begin to pour into the pool, Tooru feels the pressure being released slowly. He looks with awe at the sort of waterfall that soon starts coming in through the crater, and after considering it just for an instant, he runs towards it, jumps and then dives into the water.

When under the surface, he opens his eyes and for the first time realizes why the water always looked so colorful. There are gems stuck inside the rocks, all around the passage that leads outside the cave and to the river. Tooru recognizes rubies, emeralds, diamonds... Although their amount is at least three times more than the amount of the outside.

He's never dived in like this.

He's never trusted his leg enough, nor his capability of holding his breath.

He swims in deeper, then looks up and notices the movement of the countless drops sinking in with him. There is not much heat now – but it is still far from unpleasant.

After a minute or so, Tooru finally decides to swim upwards, and he feels himself shooting up as if he weighted nothing, until he is able to inhale and breathe again.

He finds Wakatoshi on the edge, gold eyes wide, probably for his impulsive reaction. And Tooru smiles.

“This is amazing,” he finds himself saying, and as Wakatoshi's surprise doesn't cease, he swims to the point where he can grab onto the rocks and touch with his feet. “Come in, Ushiwaka-chan! It must feel gross in those clothes...”

“Oikawa-”

“Come, come!”

Tooru thinks he must be looking silly under the rain. He feels his hair sticking to his face and to the back of his neck, as his skin tingles with every drop hitting it.

Wakatoshi eventually lets himself be convinced and begins to strip. This time, Tooru takes his time to watch him, admires every inch of tanned skin being exposed, and when Wakatoshi dives in, he as well dives in once more. With Wakatoshi being in front of him, with those gems emitting lights of all colors, Tooru makes a decision.

He swims forward, reaching out with his arms until his hands touch Wakatoshi's broad shoulders. Wakatoshi keeps looking at him and eventually they emerge, still close enough to feel each other's breath on their faces. The rain is colder now, but Tooru doesn't really feel it.

There is no sound but the one of splashing water and Tooru finally gains some courage to pull Wakatoshi with him. The man swims along, until their feet are on the rocks, until the water reaches their chests.

“Kiss me,” Tooru says at one point. Wakatoshi opens his mouth to say something, but Tooru shakes his head. “I know what you're thinking, but I want it. I really _want_ it,” he assures him, his big brown eyes staring into gold like they've never dared to before.

When Wakatoshi continues to hesitate, Tooru moves forward, until Wakatoshi's breath is on his lips and his own eyes are unfocused. He knows it is not good, that it is nothing like the way Wakatoshi kissed him that night, but he needs to make him believe him.

He kisses him the best he can - simply, a gentle brush of lips against lips, before he pulls away, feeling all of the heat no longer in the pool in his own veins. And then it grows even more as Wakatoshi's large hands find his face and waist and pull him in until their lips are pressed against each other in heated passion.

Tooru lets Wakatoshi take the lead, instinctively opening his mouth at the mere memory of how he did the first time. Wakatoshi's hand slides down his neck as his tongue enters Tooru's mouth, exploring it and seeking for Tooru's. Despite the need possessing his body, Tooru is glad that Wakatoshi is taking it slow.

But still, it is intense.

Wakatoshi's body is solid and big, an anchor for Tooru to hold onto. And he does, wrapping his arms around him and letting himself be kissed over and over, while also learning how to respond. It doesn't take him long and soon it all becomes a mess of tongues and teeth, wet and impossibly hot for Tooru to keep himself from trembling.

At some point, they pull away from each other to breathe and only then does Tooru finally realize that they have changed their positions and he is now sitting on one of the rocks, the water reaching his waist, while Wakatoshi stands between his legs, his grip firm on Tooru's waist.

Tooru can't tear his gaze away from Wakatoshi's. His legs close a little, until his thighs are pressing against Wakatoshi's hips; he lets his hands run over the taller man's muscular chest, enjoying the smoothness of the skin and the hardness of those muscles.

“Ushiw-”

“Do not call me that right now.”

Tooru swallows, lowers his head slightly. “I... I want more than this.” He is aware of the whisper that just came out of him, but Wakatoshi is too close not to have heard it. Tooru sees those gold eyes softening, those lips curving up. The rain is pouring even stronger, making it harder to keep their faces up.

“We should head out, or we might catch a cold.”

Tooru feels his stomach drop, his muscles cool down all of a sudden. He feels disappointed – does Wakatoshi really want to stop here? Was he the only one who is so desperate to unravel himself for him until there is no part of him that isn't bare and completely exposed.

Still, he voices none of his thoughts and follows Wakatoshi out, careful not to collapse because of his trembling legs. His inner thighs feel cold – he liked having Wakatoshi between them.

As he is lost in his thoughts, he doesn't notice Wakatoshi walking to one of the wooden boxes and taking out a small bottle. He doesn't notice him throwing it among the fur of their sleeping place. He snaps out of it when Wakatoshi begins to dry him with a towel, running the cloth through his hair first and then over the rest of his body.

“I... I can do it myself,” he mumbles, trying (but not really) to take the cloth away from Wakatoshi's hands, but to no avail.

Instead, Wakatoshi keeps drying him from his neck to his chest, then lowering on his knees to dry his legs. When he finishes, he doesn't stand up, and Tooru isn't capable of reading the situation, because Wakatoshi is looking up wordlessly and Tooru doesn't know what it means.

He's never looked at him like this.

“Go lie down. I will be with you immediately,” he tells him then and all Tooru can muster is a mumble and a small nod.

He discovers the presence of the bottle only when he kneels among the sheets. He raises an eyebrow and takes it in his hand, observing the liquid it contains – it is thick and oily, even more than an usual ointment. He remembers having something like this used on him when-

_Oh._

Immediately, his blood begins to rush through his veins, and an incredible amount rushes to his cheeks. He must be very flushed, but there is no way he can control himself. He doesn't know what to do – should he lie down? Should he already start preparing himself? Should he do nothing?

Soon enough, Wakatoshi is getting down as well, clean and dry as well, and he positions himself behind Tooru, and the latter turns around with a slight wince. He is met with lips pressed against his own for the umpteenth time, and he slowly turns around until they are facing each other.

He pulls away then, waiting for instructions. He receives none.

Wakatoshi notices the bottle in his hand and takes it away and Tooru doesn't care enough to hold onto it. Wakatoshi places it somewhere close to them and then proceeds to push Tooru down until he is lying on his back, his head on the pillow and himself on top.

_Finally._

Tooru spreads his legs to let Wakatoshi come closer and wraps them around him to make sure he doesn't change his mind. He feels the man's growing hardness against himself and he shivers a little, still not completely aware of the situation. It still doesn't seem real enough.

Wakatoshi's mouth is on his neck then, waking him up from his thoughts, gently kissing and nibbling on the sensitive skin and Tooru feels little sparks lighting up all over his spine.

This is very different from what he was used to, so _new_ and unusual, because Wakatoshi orders him nothing. He makes him lie there, his mouth worshiping every part of him, slowly but eagerly and _thoroughly_. When his tongue darts out to flick over his nipple, Tooru gasps in surprise, but Wakatoshi's hands pressed against his skin keep him from moving.

When the kisses on his body resume, the man sinks even lower, holding Tooru's legs still against him. Tooru tries to sit up when he feels his breath close to his now fully hard cock, but Wakatoshi's hand darts up and pushes him back into the previous position and stays there, a firm pressure against Tooru's chest.

“Relax, Oikawa.”

Tooru feels his mouth watering when Wakatoshi's other hand finally leaves his thigh and takes a hold of him, giving a gentle stroke to his length. The pleasure immediately jolts through him, and he throws his head back.

And then it happens.

“Oh, _fuck_...”

No matter how hard he tries, he just can't hold his voice low. He knows he should be trying harder, but Wakatoshi's mouth is now all over his cock, tongue swirling around him without giving him the time to adjust and collect himself.

In five years of confinement, where he was abused and raped by countless men, nobody ever had half a thought about making him actually feel good. All Tooru needed to do was lie wherever he was brought and wait until every single man having his way with him had finished. It never mattered if he came or not.

Wakatoshi is very giving with his ministrations and Tooru has never felt so good underneath a man's touch. Eventually, he manages to raise himself up and support his weight on his elbows and watches as the object of his desires and the cause of the weird feelings in his chest slowly undoes him.

He decides not to sit there and simply watch, and decides to bring the hand on his chest to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss against it and then hesitantly wrapping his lips against those thick fingers. Seeing no sign of objection, he immediately uses his tongue to taste them, one by one, teasingly sucking every now and then, just like Satori used to make him do when teaching him how to please him.

Wakatoshi presses them against his tongue and Tooru hums in pleasure, closes his eyes.

Suddenly, Wakatoshi pulls away, the action causing Tooru to gasp at the sudden lack of stimulation. Wakatoshi pulls away and empties Tooru's mouth, and this time he ever whines, but he immediately shuts up when those fingers travel over Tooru's body, leaving a trail of saliva behind, until it's wrapped around Tooru's cock and pumping in a slow but steady rhythm and with a firm grip.

Tooru feels dizziness slowly starting to get to him.

Then, his eyes lower down Wakatoshi's body and he, perhaps for the first time finds himself aware of just how big he is.

Sure, especially during the last months they spent together, Tooru often let his gaze linger on that body, taking in as much detail as he could as an appetizer for the nights he dedicated to pleasuring himself before falling asleep. But right now, it finally dawns on him that _that_ is going to enter him soon. The mere thought makes his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes searching for gold.

When Wakatoshi stops touching him for good this time, Tooru's hips thrust forward, his breathing irregular and heavy, and observes as Wakatoshi retrieves the bottle from before, opening it and pouring its content on his fingers.

Tooru swallows hard, feeling himself trembling even more. He lies back down, spreads his legs and brings them to his chest successfully this time. Wakatoshi looks at him for a long moment, then leans down to kiss him deeply and Tooru gives in to it fully.

“May I?” Wakatoshi asks quietly, nuzzling into Tooru's cheek and placing a kiss there as well.

Tooru finds himself nodding a bit too eagerly. “Yes... God, yes!” His voice comes out weak and broken, his cock jolting as soon as Wakatoshi's fingers feel around the sensitive and puffy skin of his hole. The ointment is cold, but Tooru resists the hiss that wants to come out and waits, arching his back to invite Wakatoshi to proceed.

At first, it is just one finger, slowly pushing against the entrance and finding little resistance. Tooru is surprised when it doesn't hurt, but then, he thinks, after all that's been done to him, it'll be good if he is only a little tight. Still, he moans at the intrusion, Wakatoshi's fingers being thicker than any of the ones he had inside of him.

The man thrusts it in and out of him a few times, careful not to hurt Tooru in any way. Then, he adds in his index finger, and Tooru winces, letting out a heavy exhale. He brings a hand to his cock, gently stroking himself, trying to relax for what's to come next. Wakatoshi must probably be already tired of preparing him.

Brown eyes widen when Wakatoshi leans over him once more, when he kisses him until their lips are swollen and red. His free hand caresses Tooru's ribs and chest, occasionally ghosting over a sensitive nipple.

When the third finger is added, Tooru closes his eyes and begins to move his hips to meet them. Wakatoshi moves them around inside him, moving the tips against the flesh carefully, and Tooru opens his mouth to ask what he's doing, but then Wakatoshi manages to hit that one spot that makes him moan out loud. Needless to say, Wakatoshi swallows the sound and then pulls away, adjusting himself properly between Tooru's long legs.

Tooru gasps at the emptiness, finding it even more uncomfortable than when his cock was left unattended, when Wakatoshi brings both of his hands to his thighs, adjusting them over his shoulders. Tooru's heart starts to race as Wakatoshi applies the lubricant onto himself, coating the whole length of his cock – Tooru can see just how hard he is and wants to move, to sit up to do it for him, to finally be able to touch him like he's wanted to for months. He hopes he can take him whole.

When the tip is being pressed against his loosened entrance, and Tooru braces for the pain – after all, it's never been anything but that, but he is willing to endure it for this man. If it's for him, it will be worth it.

He shuts his eyes tightly, grits his teeth as Wakatoshi finally begins to enter him. It is going to be a tight fit, he realizes. He lets out a strangled noise, the pain shooting through his lower back despite the preparation, but he is taking him slowly, inch by inch until he can feel their hips meeting.

And then Wakatoshi stops.

“Oikawa, are you alright?”

Tooru nods frantically, not wanting to stop. He feels Wakatoshi's touch on his cheeks and bites his lip. The man leans over him and immediately brown eyes shoot open. What he finds in front of himself will remain in his memories for a long time.

Those gold eyes filled with desire, looking at him like he is everything Wakatoshi has ever wanted... He still isn't moving, giving Tooru time to adjust to the incredible feeling of fullness. Surprisingly, his body gets used to it soon, and he finds himself curving up his lips and wrapping his arms around Wakatoshi's neck.

“You don't have to hold back.”

Still, Wakatoshi doesn't move. He places soft kisses all over Tooru's face – on his lips first, then on his cheeks, on his temples, makes sure he can breathe.

“You are so big,” Tooru exhales in a high-pitched, broken voice, his eyes fluttering at the sensation. He receives one last kiss before he feels Wakatoshi's hips give an experimental short thrust. It makes him moan loudly, throwing his head back.

After having his confirm, Wakatoshi grabs his hips and starts to finally move. It is slow and deep, _oh_ so deep at first, but it doesn't take long before he finds his rhythm. Every time their hips meet, Tooru moans loudly, the tip of Wakatoshi's cock hitting his prostate with every thrust.

Tooru firmly holds onto Wakatoshi's torso, his short nails leaving marks on that muscled back. Wakatoshi's face is buried in his neck, and Tooru thinks it might be the right thing to do, as he has no idea of what kind of face he is making right now.

He feels his whole body being touched, as Wakatoshi's rough palms roam all over his body until they anchor themselves around his hips, guiding them to meet his.

Despite the bath, they are already sweaty again – Tooru feels it sticking against his skin, but doesn't mind. He is capable of thinking about only one thing: it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.

Wakatoshi's body is full of strength, and the force of every single thrust is enough to make Tooru see stars whenever he buries himself inside of him, and there is no trace of that searing pain Tooru was once so used to. Sure, he will most likely be sore tomorrow, might not be able to walk even, but it feels good.

_It feels good._

“More, Ushi- _Wakatoshi_.”

The low growl he hears after saying his name makes him shiver. He feels the grip on his hips tightening impossibly as the thrusts speed up. He might have bruises in the morning, but he doesn't care. Wakatoshi is growing impossibly hard inside him, and Tooru can already feel his abdomen being soaked with precum.

He is dripping even though Wakatoshi hasn't touched him at all.

Tooru turns his head, sloppily running his lips against Wakatoshi's jaw, and when the taller man finally shows him his face, half lidded gold and flushed cheeks, Tooru feels himself tensing. Wakatoshi groans as he clenches around him and then kisses him more, his hands leaving pale hips to grab the arms around his neck and press them by Tooru's head.

Tooru's eyes widen as Wakatoshi loses all of his composure, the rhythm with which he is fucking him losing itself until it turns to be just an erratic meeting of hips. The former prince arches his back, moaning loudly as he feels himself reaching his peak.

The intense pressure in his abdomen finally bursts, and he feels his cock jolting and spurting thick, white cum all over his own abdomen and Wakatoshi's, as a wave of pleasure runs through him like never before. His muscles tense and he can see Wakatoshi's lips parting, though he is unable to hear any sound.

Wakatoshi doesn't stop fucking him, and rides Tooru through his orgasm, making his vision blurry, tears falling from those brown eyes.

It doesn't take long after that for his hips to stutter, burying his cock deep inside the beautiful man underneath him as he comes as well.

Tooru shakes and whines at the feeling of being filled, his body oversensitive and exhausted, but still incredibly good. Wakatoshi has his arms pinned by his head still, until he lets out one final low groan and collapses on top of Tooru, both of them nothing more than a melted panting mess.

Tooru huffs at the sudden weight collapsing on top of him, but instead of trying to remove it, he hugs it, burying his long fingers in dark hair. Wakatoshi's face is once again hidden in the crook of his neck and Tooru just lets him rest like this, urging his lungs to work properly, to catch all the air they can.

Eventually, Wakatoshi pulls out of him, letting his body fall on the side. Tooru feels himself empty all of a sudden and shudders. Cum spills out of him, but he doesn't care. Instead, he rolls on his side, hissing when he presses his legs together, the ache already taking over him.

He is met by lips against his and he can't help but smile as Wakatoshi kisses him even more. He _really_ likes being kissed.

When they pull away, Wakatoshi presses his forehead against his, eyes closed. Tooru feels himself being pulled closer, until they are once more skin against skin and his face is buried in Wakatoshi's chest.

“I've wanted this for so long,” Tooru says at a certain point. Wakatoshi's thumb traces circles in his ribs, and Tooru never wants to move again. The adrenaline is lowering, and he feels the cool air finally effecting his body, making him shiver for entirely different reasons this time.

Wakatoshi seems to feel it and rolls on his back, taking a hold of one of the furs beside them and throwing them over both of them. His left arm is wrapped around Tooru's lower back as the latter lies comfortably against his chest. He's never felt so good, so at peace in his life... Wakatoshi's presence is comfortable and reassuring, holding him deep in the reality of the world and how beautiful it can be, and it is a quality without which Tooru would be probably already gone. So he makes sure he holds onto it as much as he can – he wraps an arm around that broad chest, throws his leg over Wakatoshi's like he's done so many times until now. This time, though, he doesn't have to blame it on the sleeping.

He feels safe.

And he hopes Wakatoshi feels even just a little bit like him.

“Me too,” comes with a deep voice, mumbled against brown locks as the rain tries to cover it.

But it doesn't manage to.

And to Tooru, it is enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I am so sorry for taking so long to finish this, but here it is finally! To be honest, I am not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but even after taking a couple of weeks to reread it and try to make it better, I wasn't able to come up with anything.
> 
> But I finally managed to make them go all the way, and I am so happy about it. We all know they both wanted it so badly...
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you like it! I can't wait to start working on the next chapter, because shit is really about to start moving, haha.
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you so much for every single Comment, Kudo and Bookmark. It means a lot to me to know people like to read my work and I am so sorry for not being able to update more frequently.


	10. Difficulty in Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you honestly want to go back there after everything that happened?”
> 
> Tooru chuckles, the action leaving a weird feeling in the back of his throat. “I don't. But I have to. I...” He takes in a deep breath. “I don't want to leave this place. I know it would be enough not to be close to you, but I want to stay close to you. I don't want to sleep somewhere else, or hunt, eat and take baths separately. If giving Ancalagon something precious will make him accept me, I am more than willing to go look for whatever will please him the most, even if it's in the last place I want to go to.”
> 
> He winces when Wakatoshi's hand is on his cheek, brushing away another few tears. “Oikawa, you-”
> 
> “I want to stay with you.”

In the following month, Tooru discovers just how great sex can be.

Wakatoshi doesn't deny his advances anymore, and whenever Tooru asks, he gives him everything he's ever wanted (and even more) from a physical experience like this. He handles him with care, without however being too afraid of hurting him.

Tooru likes it a little rougher sometimes – although he can't tell if that part of him got on the surface because of how he's been treated for a good part of his life. But regardless of the reasons, he enjoys it.

Every morning, as soon as he is awake, Tooru makes his move on the man; the same happens in the evenings, after a well-deserved bath and meal once their training and hunting trips are over. And Wakatoshi always welcomes him in and proceeds to unravel every part of him, until he is nothing more than an overstimulated babbling mess of tears and sweat.

But there is so much more to that. Wakatoshi kisses him a lot, lets his broad hands run all over his body with a gentle and soothing touch. It happens even when they aren't engaged in intercourse, whenever they aren't doing anything, just laying among the numerous sheets or even sitting around in the fields.

“More,” Tooru finds himself saying, so often, which usually ends up with Wakatoshi giving him just that, until his lips are red and swollen and pleasantly tingling.

It is just the two of them, in the silence of the cave, isolated from the rest of the world – Tooru really wants it to last forever.

.

But it doesn't.

They are returning from their umpteenth training, Tooru's arms a bit bruised, as well as Wakatoshi's. As soon as they step into the cave, they hear a roar, and are immediately met by pitch black scales and red eyes. Tooru stops in his tracks, lets his arrows and bow fall onto the ground, and smiles.

“Ancalagon-chan is back!”

The enormous beast – Tooru swears it is larger than it was the last time, and hardly believes it's only been a month since he last saw it – slides down the pile of treasure and approaches Wakatoshi, lowering its head to nuzzle into him.

Wakatoshi pets its nose, closing his eyes and smiling, and Tooru has never seen a more peaceful and gentle expression on the stronger man's features. He hears a soothing voice in a foreign language and realizes this moment is meant to be just for the two of them, so he moves away and limits himself to watching the endearing scene in front of him.

After a while, the beast blinks, its head rising. And then it looks at him, and the way it does so makes Tooru freeze, his senses telling him that something is wrong.

_Very wrong._

Brown eyes look for Wakatoshi and find tense shoulders and widened eyes and then that large nose is reaching him as well, the air being inhales by flaring nostrils. It is too late when Tooru realizes that he is being inspected, and he realizes he forgot to wash himself after this morning's intercourse with Wakatoshi – he didn't really want to remove the pleasant, warm stickiness between his legs and instead held it as a token for the rest of the day, in anticipation to get a new one after they'd be back.

But also they didn't expect Ancalagon to return so soon. It hasn't even been a full month since it left.

The dragon stops moving, red eyes glaring at Tooru, and then it takes a few steps back, before raising on his two rear legs, a ferocious groan full of jealousy leaving its mouth as it prepares to attack.

Tooru sees warm light forming in the back of its throat, the memory of the first time it happened immediately freezing him in place, making his legs tremble.

And then Wakatoshi is bolting towards him, his large arms reaching out of him and, just for a moment, Tooru sees black. He feels himself losing his balance and finds Wakatoshi pushing him towards the pool. “Jump in!”

Thankfully, his body reacts to the command before his brain has the time to process it, and he soon finds himself underwater, his eyes looking up as his hands look for a grip onto the rocks and his lungs keep him alive while holding in all the air he managed to get.

In a blink of an eye, the surface turns red as the flames swallow it whole.

Tooru feels his heart freeze, his eyes widening.

It is weak, but he hears Wakatoshi's voice, shouting. He's never heard him raise the tone of his voice... He kind of wonders what he looks like now, if he is alright. Did the fire get to him?

Pale hands tighten their grip onto the rocks, and he instinctively brings his body closer to them, watching as the flames go out slowly. He doesn't know how much time passes before his lungs start to hurt, but the flames are still present, so he decides to suffer through it some more.

All of a sudden, his name is being called and once again, his body reacts before his mind gives the consent. He lets go of his anchor and allows the water to bring him up. The first inhale is everything to him.

When he looks in front of himself, he stops breathing again.

Wakatoshi stands in front of him, his body tense and expression terrified. Tooru has never seen him like this. He parts his lips to call out of him, but decides against it when he sees red eyes still glaring at him, and instead gets ready for another immersion if needed.

Wakatoshi's expression softens when he sees he is alright, and then he turns towards the enraged dragon, and speaks in a deep, rich voice. Tooru hears the distress and the commands in it, despite not understanding a word, and he sees the dragon growl back, before retreating, closing its wings and lowering its head.

The second later, its wings are spread open and he jumps forward before taking flight and exiting the cave through the crater, flying away into the orange sky.

Tooru looks at Wakatoshi, who is not even giving him a glance, and is instead going out from where they came in, wordlessly and hurriedly.

And Tooru is left alone.

He doesn't know how long he stays floating in the water, but at some point, his arms begin to hurt and he decides to head out of the pool, his eyes still glued onto the exit of the cave, hoping Wakatoshi will be back and that things will get back to normal.

He finds his bow on the ground, thankfully untouched by the fire, some arrows out of the quiver, but also in perfect condition. He picks them all up and takes them to their place and once it's done, he walks to the sleeping place and lets himself fall among the sheets and fur.

There is a heavy lump in his throat, and his body doesn't feel right. It is heavier than he's ever felt it, his stomach and guts twisted painfully, his heart racing like crazy... The nausea overcoming him is impossible to bear and he feels like he might explode anytime soon.

What has he done?

His hand moves to rest on his stomach, but it does nothing to make the terror go away.

His thoughts all focus on the dragon's violent reaction, on the way he was almost burned alive like Wakatoshi's previous lover. He can't help but wonder just how it is possible for Ancalagon to be so jealous of him and Wakatoshi's growing relationship.

Tooru can't deny the feeling of gratefulness and affection he feels towards him, nor can he deny the incredible attraction and the butterflies in his stomach and chest whenever he is close to him, whenever he is touched by him.

Wakatoshi is also the first man he feels he can really trust – the last one having been Hajime when they were much younger, although he is slowly growing to believe that it was just an one-sided attachment he developed towards a childhood friend who promised him things he couldn't fulfill. Wakatoshi has been by his side from the first moment they saw each other on that field, when Tooru was running away for his life and he was visiting the country with his dragon for God knows what reason.

Tooru's grip on his shirt tightens. He is not ready to face the possibility of having to let go of all of this.

But also, he must be realistic with the way things are: Wakatoshi and Ancalagon have been companions for years, and Tooru is in no position to ask Wakatoshi to choose him instead, no matter how much he... loves him – because this _is_ love, right?

He bites his lip, not caring at all about the blood that spills out because of the strength of his teeth. Brown eyes close, and he hopes Wakatoshi will be back when they open again.

He hopes everything will be back to normal.

***

Wakatoshi isn't back by the next morning.

Tooru doesn't even dare to stand up, instead opting to cover himself further after stripping out of some of his clothes to make himself a little more comfortable.

Despite removing the straps he uses to wear his equipment, he doesn't feel his muscles relaxing at all. His chest is still tight, his legs tense, and his lungs just don't cooperate.

Still, he waits.

.

Wakatoshi isn't back by the time the sun sets either.

Tooru hasn't touched anything – he refused to drink, he didn't go out to hunt himself something to eat – and still refuses to get up.

Wakatoshi's scent is strong here, it makes him feel safe somehow. But this is the first night he is spending on his own. It is incredibly quiet and still; the atmosphere makes shivers run down Tooru's spine even though it the air is warm.

Steam rises from the water. Tooru covers himself with another blanket.

He is scared – he hasn't felt scared ever since the nightmares disappeared, but now he is vulnerable, and they might return. He debates whether he should fall asleep again or not, because he really isn't in the mood, but spending the night awake in this place, on his own, isn't very appealing either.

Maybe he should get up and light up some candles, just to avoid spending the night in total darkness, but his body gets heavier with every passing second, so he just closes his eyes not to face darkness. He only hopes he is not going to get sick.

Hazel loses itself in the pile of gold and gems in the further corner of the cave, the only source of light in the darkness. It makes Tooru's mind run wild, thinking about the possibilities, about his situation, about what feels like the right thing to do, and what feels wrong.

He remembers finding no sapphires when he looked through it.

***

It is at dawn of the next day that Tooru's distressed slumber is disturbed by quiet footsteps. It is easy to wake him up, it easy to make him raise his head to look for their source.

He doesn't know what kind of expression he is making, but the way Wakatoshi frowns when he sees him makes Tooru think he doesn't look appealing in the slightest. He wonders if the joy and relief he is feeling upon seeing the man who saved him is more than evident.

But he is proven wrong when Wakatoshi kneels in front of him, bringing his warm, broad hands on his cheeks, the calluses of his thumbs brushing away the tears Tooru didn't even realize he was crying.

“Ushijima...”

He says his name quietly, a mere whisper, broken and hesitant. He reaches out to touch the man's shoulder, letting the covers off his half-naked body. Wakatoshi welcomes him in a comfortable embrace, cradles him gently in his arms when Tooru buries his face in his neck.

Tooru likes being held like this. He likes the way Wakatoshi strokes his hear with one hand, while the other rubs soothing circles in his back. It should be reassuring, but Tooru's grip on the other's clothes only tightens, the only thing his mind is thinking being _I don't want to let go._

“Do I have to leave?”

He feels Wakatoshi tilting his head to the side to rest on his own, and his heart stops for a moment. His senses sharpen when he closes his eyes, and he becomes aware of every light tingle in his skin underneath Wakatoshi's touch, of every breath he takes, of his smell... Tooru inhales it until he can fit no more air in himself, then holds it in for a few seconds before letting it go.

“No,” Wakatoshi says then. “I do not want you to.”

“But Ancalagon is going to kill me if I stay.”

“He is not,” Wakatoshi replies immediately. “We will have to figure something out. Until then, I will have to be less close to you.”

Tooru opens his mouth to protest, but immediately closes it after seeing Wakatoshi's tired look. Yesterday must have been rougher for him than it was for Tooru. The archer lowers his gaze once more and lets himself rest against Wakatoshi's body, despite knowing perfectly well that he should be trying to wean himself from it.

Wakatoshi also doesn't push him away.

It is then that Tooru makes a decision, something he didn't even remotely think of doing ever again, especially not now that he found a country where he can forget about his past, about the abuse and betrayals of those he loved. But in order to stay here, he must do this.

“Ne, Ushijima... Ancalagon doesn't have any sapphires, right?”

He feels Wakatoshi moving his head against Tooru's probably turning it to look at him. “Excuse me?”

Tooru focuses on an empty spot beside the pool, not returning that look. “In the past month, I tried to find out what he has and what he doesn't have among his treasure. I found no sapphires.”

Wakatoshi hums. “Well, they are impossible to obtain in our area, and we never went treasure hunting north, so I guess it is not a surprise.” He pauses then, before adding, “But why are you bringing it up, if I may know?”

Tooru hesitates to speak.

He knows there is no turning back once he proposes it. Even if Wakatoshi tries to talk him out of it.

“There are lots of them in my former kingdom. There is a lake where I often went as a child, and I used to find so many of them around that area.”

“What are you aiming at with this, Oikawa?”

Tooru lets out a small smile before he pulls away. He still doesn't meet gold, keeping his head down. “Do you think we could go there? So I can make it up to him.”

He hears Wakatoshi's gasp – it would be impossible not to, seeing their closeness. But then, it still surprises him – it is so rare to see Wakatoshi show emotions when they talk. “Oikawa, you don't-”

“It's fine,” Tooru interrupts. They are finally looking at each other. “I have no intention to stay there any longer than necessary. We go to the lake, pick up a few gems and that would be it,” he explains, but Wakatoshi's face tells him it's not what he is worrying about.

“Do you honestly want to go back there after everything that happened?”

Tooru chuckles, the action leaving a weird feeling in the back of his throat. “I don't. But I have to. I...” He takes in a deep breath. “I don't want to leave this place. I know it would be enough not to be close to you, but I _want_ to stay close to you. I don't want to sleep somewhere else, or hunt, eat and take baths separately. If giving Ancalagon something precious will make him accept me, I am more than willing to go look for whatever will please him the most, even if it's in the last place I want to go to.”

He winces when Wakatoshi's hand is on his cheek, brushing away another few tears. “Oikawa, you-”

“I want to stay with you.”

Wakatoshi seems to ponder his words, his brows furrowed and gaze lost somewhere. Tooru is afraid that Wakatoshi will not accompany him – after all, he is the one who has to redeem himself – and limit himself to tell him how to leave the island.

“Alright,” the deep voice speaks. “We shall leave in a few weeks. Until then, I will prepare you another sleeping place and elaborate a new routine for you.”

Tooru swallows past the lump in his throat and stands up. He picks up his pillow and walks past the man still on his knees. He observes the cave: he can't seem to find a comfortable-looking place to build his temporary nest, but then realizes that this cave belongs to one person only and he immediately finds it harder to breathe.

Eventually he settles in the farthest corner from the dragon's treasure and places in it the blankets and furs Wakatoshi lets him have. All the time, he feels Wakatoshi's intense gaze on him, and although they are alone at the moment and he has nothing to fear for, he still can't relax.

By noon, exhaustion and his own nerves explode and he ends up collapsing. Wakatoshi covers him up properly and Tooru sighs when thick fingers brush his hair as he faces him with his back.

***

When Ancalagon returns, the next day, Tooru doesn't look at it, doesn't stand up from his place.

Wakatoshi speaks to the beast, then speaks to him, tells him he can stand up and assures him nothing will happen. But Tooru prefers to stay still.

His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might explode.

***

“Are you _really_ sure he is going to let me ride him?”

The question is asked for the umpteenth time as they check their belongings. Wakatoshi just finished fastening the saddle on Ancalagon's back and is ready to tie the couple of sacks they are bringing along.

Tooru's hands are trembling, his heart and stomach playing tricks on him, making him feel nauseous. But Wakatoshi gives him a reassuring gaze and a light smile. “Do not worry about it.”

Ancalagon still doesn't pay much attention to him, hasn't done it since after the accident. Tooru tries to tell himself it is a good thing, although he is afraid of a possible last-minute explosion.

When he approaches the beast, he avoids making eye-contact with it – the tension is palpable and they are all aware of it. But then Wakatoshi climbs on its back, and the dragon stills, lowering its head and body for Tooru to climb on as well after Wakatoshi extends his hand and offers it to him.

Before taking it, Tooru once more checks that his quiver is tied onto him tight enough. He climbs up, the feeling of the saddle familiar between his legs.

Wakatoshi gives the command, and immediately the dragon raises on its strong legs, turning around so it's facing the pool. With three large steps, it jumps, it's giant wings spreading and allowing them to take flight. After all this time, it still makes Tooru's heart skip a beat, his breath hitch in his throat.

Wakatoshi wraps a strong arm around his waist, holding him against himself, and Tooru exhales, closing his eyes.

The weather outside is beautiful; sunny and warm.

Wakatoshi is warmer.

Tooru believes that it must be because this is the closest he's being to him after two weeks of no physical contact. With one hand he grips onto the saddle, while the other finds its way to hold onto Wakatoshi's. It is reassuring, it helps calming down his crazy heart, it slows down his pressure.

It feels nice.

Ancalagon is incredibly fast in gaining height, and once Tooru sees the clouds approaching, and then they are diving into them.

It's been so long.

The air is a bit colder up here, and the speed of the dragon also contributes to making Tooru shiver despite all the layers of clothes he has on himself. The cloak Wakatoshi made him wear helps a lot, both in warming him up and making Wakatoshi's armor less uncomfortable against his back.

It feels like the first time they rode together, but now Tooru is not on the verge of dying, nor is he unaware of his conditions and surroundings.

It doesn't take long before the ocean is in his view, it's blue spreading over the surface and disappearing into distance. Tooru watches the image with awe, the feelings the view awakens overcoming him fully, throwing him off, but not in a negative way. Whenever Wakatoshi brings him in front of something like this, he can't help but feel so small, like a little ant when compared to the world.

Some of Shiratorizawa's features made him feel it, and now the ocean, which, for the first time, he has the privilege to see from above. And it still looks infinite.

At the same time though, he feels a great confidence growing inside him. The thought of himself, a mere human, being able to survive here, to live without being overcome, is enough to make him feel incredibly strong.

Wakatoshi's hold on his hand tightens, as if he just read his mind, but then he shakes his head slightly, chasing away those thoughts. Because no way this was possible. He must be too high on adrenaline and must be imagining things.

But he appreciates it nonetheless.

He whispers something in the wind, letting it swallow all three of the words before they reach Wakatoshi's ears. It helps taking away the weight from his shoulders, but it also leaves him craving for saying them out loud. He promises himself he will, as soon as they return from their journey.

Tooru doesn't know for how long they fly, but in a matter of hours, he sees the seasons change, going from the almost eternal late spring of Shiratorizawa to the late autumn of the larger land. He dares to look down and finds busy cities and villages surrounded by warm colors, and they pass them one by one, until each and every single one becomes a blur and then disappears into the distance.

When Ancalagon lands, it is late in the afternoon. The sun has started to set, and they don't have much time to find a shelter. It would be very risky to rest in the open like they usually do. Mercenaries unfortunately do exist here and tend to do quite a lot of damage to every lost soul who decides to spend the night in the woods.

“We are close to the borders of your kingdom, Oikawa.”

Tooru swallows hard, even before the sentence is over. Because he somehow had the feeling they were close. After all, everything until now is going right the way their plan dictated: they flied all the way until a few miles from the border, and here they are going to let Ancalagon go and walk the rest of the way.

Tooru didn't forget to tell Wakatoshi of people's fear of dragons. They just aren't used to beasts of Ancalagon's size and their reaction could be brutal if they saw him. And the last thing he wants right now is Wakatoshi's companion to get injured.

Wakatoshi runs his hands over dark scales and speaks soothingly to the beast, while Tooru, as always, watches with awe. Ancalagon pays him no attention, not even before flying away. And he doesn't know whether he is glad or disappointed.

“Shall we go, _Tooru_?”

Tooru's breath hitches in his throat. But then he remembers: they decided Wakatoshi wouldn't call him by his family name, in order to avoid being caught. He told himself he would be prepared for this, but it just isn't so easy.

“Y-yes.”

The walk is spent in silence, even when Tooru starts to recognize the trees and the path. Soon, he is the one leading, with Wakatoshi close behind. The smell becomes familiar as soon as he starts to spot some houses in the distance. Instinctively, he quickens his pace, his heart beating a little faster.

But it is soon that his gut tells him to slow down, to be cautious.

He stops abruptly, his body freezing in place and refusing to go on.

“Tooru?”

He barely hears it, but as soon as Wakatoshi is close to him, he stutters.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

It is all it takes for Tooru to see a future with him and Wakatoshi separated, forced to stay away from each other as Ancalagon watches over him. Tooru sees himself surrounded by fire at some point and he needs to close his eyes, because he swears can hear them his own screams, and it's... terrifying.

“Yeah.”

.

The moment they step into the village, Tooru's stomach drops once more.

This place is now everything but the way he remembers it. There is an unusual silence hovering around the main road. There are people, but they all seem lost in their own world, pacing quickly and going wherever they want to go. There are barely any stalls with food or other merchandise Tooru remembers loving when he was a child.

The smell he thought he was feeling turns out to be a mere fruit of his imagination. There is none of that aroma of freshly baked bread, nor is there that comforting smell of earth.

There are not many children running around, he notes as he walks. He looks around, trying not to make his staring obvious, and finds many women standing outside, wearing revealing clothing, exposing their chests and legs to the passengers.

Prostitution has never been anything strange to him, however, the number of the women standing around him has grown way too much for him not to feel something stir inside of him. His father once told him that prostitutes were usually girls sold by their families when they couldn't afford to maintain them, or girls who didn't manage to marry a man in a suitable age, or those who were simply rejected by their husbands after being discovered with a lover.

Frankly, Tooru doesn't understand. Even with all those information in mind, his mind wanders off to Shiratorizawa and all the days they spent visiting the various villages scattered around the island. He doesn't recall seeing a single woman selling herself on the street.

Some of the younger girls seem to notice him looking towards them, and they immediately begin to approach, but by quickening his pace, he manages to walk away before they reach him. He adjusts his hoodie and cloak until they are covering him whole.

“Tooru,” Wakatoshi calls then and after shaking off the shiver running down his spine after that deep, soothing voice just said his name, he stops, turning around to look at him.

“We should find a place to stay the night. I think I know where we could go. I used to go there with my father and soldiers when I was a child and we traveled.”

Without waiting for a reply, he resumes walking and follows his instincts and memories up to an inn that also offers a few rooms for travelers to spend the night. He hopes they aren't already full or that the only ones left are those with many beds – he doesn't really feel like sharing right now.

“We could try here,” he says and when Wakatoshi nods in approval, they go in.

The first thing that strikes Tooru is the number of people in the place. It is almost full to the brim. The smell of alcohol is strong in the air, making Tooru's stomach clench a little. Nobody pays attention to them, their cloaks doing the great job of covering Wakatoshi's armor and Tooru's clothes and face. Even here, there are prostitutes left and right, sitting in the laps of guards and merchants, laughing at their lame jokes, and rubbing themselves over whoever they are told to.

Two girls approach them, immediately unbuttoning their dresses to offer themselves for them to pick, but they just walk past them and carefully make their way through the crowd and into an empty corner. Tooru feels the stares of the people on himself and he prays all the gods that he is covered enough. That no one will recognize him.

He keeps his head low.

Wakatoshi sits beside him once he is settled next to the wall, as if to protect him, to hide him even more.

A young waitress soon approaches them, and Tooru watches with a frown as the guards and other villagers reach out with their hands to grab or slap her buttocks.

She tries to keep her cool though, and stands in front of them with a small smile.

“Would you like to eat something?”

Wakatoshi tells her to bring whatever they have ready already, and also asks if there are any rooms available. She tells them she only has one left, with a single bed – Tooru figures it's probably for those who decide to bring one or more of the women to fuck for the night.

“We will take it, thank you.”

The woman nods and immediately pulls the key from the pocket of her dress. “Do you want some company for the night as well? If you want, I can show you all the girls we have and you can choose whichever one you like.”

Tooru doesn't say anything, while Wakatoshi dismisses the question by changing the subject. He requests warm water for a bath immediately after dinner – Tooru knows it's for him – obviously some clean towels, and in the end a bottle of wine. Tooru raises an eyebrow at the last request, but decides not to ask any questions.

Their meals are brought soon enough, accompanied by glasses and wine. When the sun sets down, even more people arrive to drink. Tooru sees some guards sitting in front of farmers, loud and cocky. “You still need to pay the tributes, old man,” one of them says to the older man, who only lowers his head and looks away.

“I am sorry, but I must ask you to wait. The rain has ruined most of the crops. I am sure I'm not the only one in debt with your Majesty.”

The soldiers laugh in his face before their apparent leader continues. “Your Majesty doesn't give a shit about your reasons. You have a fortnight.”

Then they get busy with the waitress and the other women, each one of them pulling one in their lap, those large greedy hands immediately anchoring on their slender waists as they pull them close to grind against their crotches, the old man suddenly forgotten.

Wakatoshi and Tooru look at him, and when the man notices it, he offers a shy smile. “May I join you?”

“Of course,” Tooru says before he even has the time to process it. The man slides over, sitting in front of him and Wakatoshi, keeping his gaze low. “You must not be from here,” he mumbles to them. Wakatoshi shakes his head, “No, we are not. We are travelers.”

The farmer seems to be interested by their words. “Oh, where are you headed if I may know?”

Tooru and Wakatoshi exchange a quick glance, before the knight replies. “Karasuno.” It is a lie, but he tells it with a straight face, no flicker of doubt or uncertainty in those gold eyes. Tooru unconsciously swallows and then returns to his meal.

“Why you are wearing that cloak, boy? Don't you feel hot in here?”

Tooru's breath hitches in his throat. “Not really.”

Soon, somewhere behind them, other farmers begin to complain about the rough times. “I know there were some issues when Oikawa-sama was still on the throne, but now it's unbearable. I can't even feed my family on a daily basis,” says one of them.

Tooru feels his heart stop.

“I get you. They keep demanding tributes when we have nothing already.”

“A few days ago my daughter was raped by the soldiers on patrol, just because I was late with my fees.”

“Oikawa-sama would have understood.”

“Of course he would. He's never been cruel.”

Tooru bites his lip, moving even closer to the corner. He listens carefully those words of longing for the old times, but he knows it's not that simple. These men are victims of the coup d'état as much as his family was, because it's never up to the common people to decide who will rule their country.

“Well, your dear Oikawa-sama is gone now,” echoes in the room, making silence dawn on all of them. “We stabbed him in the heart and let King Suguru take his place. The maesters and the lords made sure it went through and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Tooru clenches his fists, his body trembling at those words. His ability to speak seems gone and forgotten.

“Yes, yes, I still remember that day. We took that whore queen of yours to our camps and took turns fucking her until she was nothing more than a pile of flesh. To be honest, I thought a royal cunt would feel so much better, but it is barely comparable to you, girls.” Another soldier speaks, his hands greedily roaming over the girl in his lap, who giggles and arches her back in response. There is some kind of strain in the noise she makes, but she plays it off as if it were nothing.

Wakatoshi's eyes keep looking at Tooru, he knows it, but he doesn't meet them once.

“Oh, but you should have seen the prince!”

“Yeah, that one was really good!”

The girls look at them almost interested, as most of the inn does. They probably don't talk about it a lot, or simply it's been a long time since they last boasted about that. Or maybe they are new in the zone.

Tooru doesn't know. Still, his heart stops beating, his body suddenly feeling heavier than iron or stone, his lungs suddenly empty. Wakatoshi's hand on the small of his back doesn't prevent his eyes from watering.

“The night of the banquet is something I'll never forget. No one of the upper classes will I guess. After all, never has a royalty been fucked in front of all those people by the king and his king's guard.”

His stomach twists and a strong feeling of nausea overcomes him. The food in his plate grows cold by the time the soldiers stop bragging about how they all had a go with him. Even though it is not true. They are not part of the king's guard. But the people seem to believe them anyway.

Some look at them in disgust, some ask for more details and laugh with arousal and lust in their eyes as they picture their former prince bent over that enormous table, screaming as he is taken by every single man in the line behind him.

Tooru remembers that night far too well.

Even after every other kind of perverse things that were done to him afterwards.

It will be something he will never forget.

Just as he will never forget the night right after his parents were murdered and the kingdom was sacked. He will never forget the way Suguru pinned him down and fucked him until there was blood pouring down his inner thighs and his voice was spent.

All the memories display in front of his eyes, one by one, and the urge to throw up becomes unbearable. But he knows that if he stands up and runs out, he will be discovered.

Those guards might not have had their way with him, but if they only even saw him once, he will be discovered.

“Wakatoshi,” he whispers. His voice is once again barely there, broken and low. “Can we retire for the night?”

Wakatoshi, who up until now was quietly and cautiously conversing with the man they invited to share their table, stops speaking to him as he turns to look at Tooru.

“Of course.”

“Are you not feeling well, young man?” the old man asks and Tooru can't shake his head quickly enough.

Wakatoshi stands up and Tooru follows.

As soon as the woman who served them sees them, she stands up from her place behind the counter and follows them upstairs with a few of other women who are carrying what Wakatoshi requested. They patiently wait as Wakatoshi unlocks the door and lets them in and then proceed to fill the tub in the corner with the hot water, while another girl places the wine and glasses on one of the cupboards.

Tooru stands still in the middle of the room, eyes lost on the floor, ears not hearing all the moving around.

Once everything is ready, the young girls walk out, but not before giving a playful look to both him and Wakatoshi, as one last invitation to keep any one of them in with them.

“If you change your mind about the company of my girls, just come downstairs and ask for them. At any time.”

And then she's gone.

Tooru knows she's gone and that he could just drop his cloak and reveal himself, but he can't. He can't move. He can't breathe. He hears Wakatoshi calling him. Once, twice. But he doesn't have the strength to reply and instead just stands there, in silence.

Until Wakatoshi's hands are touching his cheeks and then pushing the hoodie off his head.

Only then do those brown eyes blink.

“Tooru.”

Tooru's lips part, but no sound comes out.

“You are crying.”

“What?” Instinctively, his hands raise up to his cheek and he realizes there is a wetness on the tip of his fingers. His heart clenches painfully as he looks at Wakatoshi, who is staring at him wordlessly. But Tooru can see something off in his gaze, his eyes being softer than usual.

“Sorry,” he whispers.

Wakatoshi says nothing at that, and instead proceeds to remove the quiver from Tooru's back, putting it down next to the bed. Then, he returns and removes his cloak, while Tooru still finds it difficult to move.

“You should head into the bath while the water is still warm.”

Tooru nods and somehow manages to force his legs to drag him to the tub. He removes his shirt and pants and crawls in, letting himself go in the water. He closes his eyes, exhales heavily. “I want you to come in with me.”

“The tub is too small for the both of us,” Wakatoshi replies. Tooru watches him remove his armor and sighs, disappointed. When Wakatoshi returns by his side, he is holding a sponge he brought along and is dipping it into the water and then bringing it to Tooru's skin, washing him slowly.

“Tooru, are you sure you want to stay here?”

“Yeah...”

They stay in silence for a long time after that mumble. Tooru doesn't stay long in the tub. He stands up quickly, accepts the towel Wakatoshi gives him and uses it to dry himself up and then walks to the window after wrapping himself in it.

He notices a woman being fucked in a corner of the street by some guards that were in the inn with them. He sees the man who was sitting next to them being beaten up even though he was allowed a fortnight to repay his debts.

And he is unable to do anything.

Wakatoshi pulls him away from that view before his urge to scream prevails on him, then leads him to the bed, where he makes him sit. He pours the wine into one of the two cups and offers it to him.

“I don't want to drink this.”

“It will help you sleep.”

Tooru holds onto it, his eyes staring at the dark liquid as Wakatoshi heads to the door to lock it. When he returns, he removes the wet towel from Tooru's body, leaving him exposed like he always does. Tooru doesn't fail to notice the intense gaze he receives as Wakatoshi sits beside him, his hand reaching out to hold onto Tooru's the thumb tracing the cup he holds.

Eventually, Tooru brings it to his lips, drinks it all down in one go. Immediately, he remembers when the wine was forced down his throat, and he feels his guts twist at the mere taste of it. He coughs, pulling away from the cup as if it burned.

Wakatoshi holds it for him before he can spill it over himself. “I guess alcohol does not suit you,” he says as he puts it on the nightstand.

Tooru wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before crawling under the sheets and throwing the towel away onto the floor. When Wakatoshi stands up to go to the window and assist to the pitiful scenes of the nightlife of the village, Tooru brings the covers up and over his head, not wanting to see this reality any longer.

He wonders if his choice to come here was a good idea.

He hopes that what he saw won't haunt him in his dreams.

Unfortunately, his wish is not granted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...
> 
> I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! 
> 
> Hello everyone, here I come, begging for forgiveness after almost four months of not uploading anything. Truth is, I am in my last year of high school and I have exams coming up and I am dying everyday among the amount of homework and things I have to study.
> 
> I've been writing small pieces at the time in my free time, but I just had so little of it.
> 
> But chapter 10 is finally here. Oh, God, I finally did it. And it is even longer than the regular chapters of this fic. So I hope it makes it a little bit better.
> 
> I hope you forgive my long absence and enjoy it - I really hope I didn't drop the ball on this, because I worked really hard.
> 
> As for the title, Oikawa will get into many situations that will cut his breath short. It is the same that hapens to me, and I believe it happens to many of you as well. Lately, I've been under so much stress and surprises and I must admit that sometimes I actually forget to breathe (and sometimes I don't even have the time to, haha). So I hope at least a little bit of me is in this.
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience and for the lovely comments I still keep receiving. It means so so so much. Thank you.
> 
> And also a big thank you for the kudos and the bookmarks. Those never fail to make me satisfied and motivated to keep writing. I hope the next update won't take so long.


	11. The Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this really you, Tooru?”

They leave the inn at dawn. The waitress from the night before is nowhere to be seen, and instead they are seen out by an even younger girl. Tooru doesn't give her more than twelve years of age.

She bows deeply and wishes them a safe journey and Tooru's heart almost melts. He turns to look at Wakatoshi with pleading eyes and the man seems to understand. He pulls out a small sachet from his armor, opens it and pulls out one golden coin.

The girl is not looking at them directly, her eyes lost on the ground, probably after hours and hours of obedience and respect teaching. Or maybe it's because of fear. But when Tooru steps in front of her, the golden coin lying on the palm of his hand brought under her eyes, she gasps and looks up. “Milord?”

Tooru smiles at her. “I'm no lord.” Then, he moves his hand even closer, urging the girl to take the item. “This is for you. If you ever want to leave this place, it will be enough to begin a new life wherever you want.” Hesitantly, she takes it, her hand lingers on Tooru's for a little longer than it is supposed to, as if waiting for him to change his mind. Only when he doesn't, does her hand retreat.

“I'll see you then,” Tooru says, stepping back and by Wakatoshi's side.

“Thank you, _sir_ ,” the girl says, corrects the way she calls him.

Tooru waves at her as they walk away through the village. People are already on the street, but no one bothers them.

“Tooru.”

Tooru bites his lip, doesn't reply.

“Do you want to talk about last night?”

“No. Let's get to the lake as soon as possible, take what we need, and go home.”

Wakatoshi says nothing after that, but Tooru knows he didn't fail to notice the redness surrounding his eyes, nor the cut slowly forming on his bottom lip from the constant chewing. His hands are shaking. The nightmares were horrible.

But this time it was different. This time he didn't scream, this time he didn't wake Wakatoshi to ask for a reassuring embrace. This time he woke up before dawn, body still as a rock and tears in his eyes, which he quickly wiped away.

He tries to tell himself he doesn't care. His duty as a king has never even begun. His duty as a prince ended a long time ago.

So why does he feel this way?

Wakatoshi stays silent for a while, looking ahead as they walk. The village soon comes to an end and a thick forest begins. They enter it, Tooru guiding the way in, remembering every single bit. Nothing has changed when it comes to nature, when it comes to the various paths and roads. Tooru's sense of orientation is as sharp as ever.

The damage is only limited to society.

“You could not have done anything,” Wakatoshi says once they are finally completely alone. “You were as much of a victim as your people were.”

“ _Are,_ ” Tooru corrects. “They still are victims.”

Wakatoshi blinks. “It bothers you.”

Tooru lets out a strangled sound. “Of course it bothers me.” The last bit of the sentence is choked, low. “That place wasn't in such conditions when I last visited. And I can't help but think that, if a village so close to the borders is reduced in such misery, what about the rest of the kingdom?”

Wakatoshi seems to think about it. “Usually the situation tends to be better closer to the capital. To maintain the image. However, we certainly witnessed a pitiful sight.”

Tooru clicks with his tongue. Sometimes, Wakatoshi states such obvious things. He isn't sure if this is some kind of attempt at empathy towards him, or maybe the man just doesn't know how to comfort him and keeps trying to avoid the silence to avoid him rotting in the prison of his thoughts.

Though Wakatoshi must certainly be judging. In the months they've spent together, during which they traveled through Shiratoizawa, never has Tooru seen _one_ person begging in the streets. He hasn't asked yet about what kind of miracle it is all about, and as time goes by, he is always more and more afraid of the question and of its answer.

“Will you be able to leave your kingdom after this?”

Wakatoshi's words are unexpected.

Tooru's heart skips a beat and he stops in his tracks, his legs suddenly threatening to give out.

He turns around, eyes wide.

“What?”

The man doesn't repeat his question, those gold eyes piercing into Tooru's, waiting for the reply. Because he knows he's heard him more than well.

Tooru opens his mouth, then closes it. He opens it again, but words still don't come out. His heart is beating fast, his muscles clenching almost painfully as they stand in front of one another. Eventually Wakatoshi takes a step forward, brushes Tooru's shoulder gently with a broad hand. “We should go.”

“Yeah.”

***

“This world is rotten,” Tooru whispers as they enter the next inn for their second night in his former kingdom. This time, there is no tub, so Tooru decides just to slip out of his clothes and throw himself on the bed.

He immediately notices Wakatoshi's eyes scanning him whole and feels regret punching him right into the stomach. Because Wakatoshi isn't rotten. Shiratorizawa isn't rotten.

Everything else, though, is.

When Wakatoshi lies beside him, Tooru convinces him to come closer and pulls him on top of himself, spreading his legs and clinging to him as if his life depended on him (in a certain way, it does). The weeks they spent without being able to touch each other like they wanted to made Tooru become needier than he thought he would become.

They have sex. Slow, passionate sex.

Tooru feels breathless from all the kisses brought upon his lips, feels his body ache pleasantly with each thrust of the man, feels his mind slipping away from the cruel reality and returning to their cave, where he feels warm and safe and _at home_ _._

Later, Wakatoshi cleans him up with towels and Tooru apologizes, just as quiet.

***

They arrive at the lake after three long days of traveling.

When Tooru sees it for the first time after seven years, he feels his eyes burning, tears threatening to fall _again_.

“Where to now?” Wakatoshi asks, breaking his moment, making him focus back on their goal. He points towards the rocks on the other side of the lake. “There is a cave that goes underneath the lake. We must get there before nightfall, or else we won't be able to see anything.”

They hurry up; fortunately Tooru knows all the shortcuts – and when they finally begin to see the cave, he grins, his feet moving even faster. But as soon as he is only a few dozens of meters away from it, an arrow flies towards him, passing right in front of his face, making him stop abruptly, lose his balance and fall onto the ground.

Before he is able to realize what is happening, a large figure jumps from behind the rocks and onto him. Tooru sees a sword swinging, but his reflexes are so much better than they once were, and he manages to roll on the ground and escape before he is stabbed right through his heart. He exhales heavily and gets on his feet, dodging the next hit without too much difficulty. Another arrow shoots past him, but he dodges that too.

“Oikawa!”

With the corner of his eyes, he sees Wakatoshi running towards him, his sword already in his left hand. He decides he won't let Wakatoshi save him again, and turns around, extending his leg and making the other man trip. He then uses his knee to hit him in the stomach and reaches behind himself. Before he is able to notice the falter in his attacker's movements, his hand is already holding an arrow tightly and stabbing the man's shoulder, piercing into the only part not covered by his armor. His hood falls, uncovering his head as the other man grunts in pain and stutters.

In a blink of an eye, Wakatoshi is behind them, stabbing the ground with his sword, taking a hold of Tooru's bow and arrow and immediately shooting towards the woods where all the other arrows came from.

He hears a scream and then the attacks seem to become less intense.

“STOP!”

The man Tooru wounded screams, falling on his knees in front of Tooru, his left hand raising up. Tooru at first thinks it is directed to him and Wakatoshi, but when the arrows coming from the woods cease completely, he understands better. He takes a step back, Wakatoshi guarding his back, ready to protect him if needed.

They watch the kneeling, hooded man groan as he pulls out the arrow from his shoulder and expect him to charge once more, but then he lowers his head, concealing himself even more.

Tooru feels his body tremble, a weird feeling possessing his stomach.

“T- _Tooru_...”

Brown eyes widen.

His whole body grows limp.

The man on his knees finally looks up and into his eyes and Tooru sees a flash of green and gray in the shadow of the cloak.

But that _voice_.

He could recognize that voice among millions.

“Is this really you, Tooru?”

Tooru isn't able to answer. He hears rustling coming from the woods and bushes and then men are coming out of them, and when he turns around to see them, he realizes he knows them too.

_He knows them too..._

He looks back at the man in front of him. “Show me your face,” he says, his voice trembling ever so slightly. The man's breath hitches slightly, but he still brings his bloodied hands up and reveals himself, and now Tooru's heart stops as well.

That dark hair, those bright eyes, that tanned skin... _And that voice_...

“ _Iwa-chan_...”

It is a mere whisper, but when those green eyes widen at the nickname, Tooru knows he is right.

Iwaizumi Hajime.

His former knight.

Before he is able to say anything else, Hajime is clenching his shoulder, but bowing, his knees firmly planted into the ground, his body bending until his forehead is as well.

“My King...”

Tooru's jaw drops. He feels Wakatoshi tensing behind him, those gold eyes eyeing their surroundings, every part of him ready to fight.

But when Tooru turns to look around himself once more, he finds all the others on their knees as well, heads low. Tooru recognizes Takahiro and Issei, Shinji and Shigeru... All of the knights that were supposed to guard him when he was still a prince.

They weren't there when he was taken away.

Hazel eyes search for gold, and when Wakatoshi finally meets them, he immediately seems the recognize the confusion of feelings Tooru's heart is full of. If it was frozen until now, now it's beating wildly, drumming in his chest and threatening to jump out at any moment.

He is terrorized. He is shocked. He can't breathe.

Wakatoshi immediately lets go of the bow, gathering it all in one hand, and then grabs Tooru's wrist, pulling him away from Hajime, being careful to hold him up when he trips over nothing. Tooru's hand grips him, and he silently begs him not to let him go, to get him away from here before he gets hurt again.

“Oikawa, wait!” Hajime stands up, reaches out to him, but misses him by a breath.

Wakatoshi pulls him until they are at a safe distance. Hajime collapses with a groan, then moves his hand to his shoulder, clenching it painfully to make the pain stop. Takahiro and Issei are immediately by his side. They try to wrap their arms around him, to hold him up, but Hajime shakes them off. “I don't need your help!”

His eyes stay fixed on Tooru's figure. Tooru watches him from the distance, standing close to Wakatoshi, feeling his warmth around his wrist still.

“You are alive... How is that possible?” Hajime's voice echoes through the air, making shivers run down Tooru's spine.

And then comes the anger.

“It is certainly not thanks to you...” His voice is deep, his words harsh. His body is now trembling as all kinds of feelings overwhelm him at once and for a moment, just for a moment, he thinks he is not going to be able to take it. Not after all this time.

But then he remembers Wakatoshi, and everything he taught him. He feels his strong presence behind him and feels supported.

So he doesn't fall.

Instead, he stands up higher, extends his hand to his side and breathes again when Wakatoshi places his bow in it. He extracts an arrow, just in case.

He sees Hajime's eyes widen. “Oikawa, I don't want to hurt you.” He then looks around, wordlessly commanding the others to lay down their weapons. Then he looks back at Tooru and Tooru can't help but feel his stomach drop the moment he sees the brightness of that green.

“You attacked me,” he replies.

Hajime shakes his head. “I was protecting the cave. I didn't know it was you. I swear to you: no one here will harm you.” His voice seems to shake, but Tooru isn't sure. It may just be the wind. Or maybe it's his emotions, playing tricks on his mind.

Maybe this is all just a nightmare.

But then Wakatoshi is beside him, not behind anymore, his sword held tightly in his hand. “Why should he trust a traitor like you.” The man's deep voice echoes in the open air, carried by the wind as he coldly stares at their opponents. Are they opponents though? Tooru can't help but wonder. Hajime said they don't want to hurt him.

However, Hajime and his family also betrayed him.

So why should he-

“Who the hell are you to talk to me like this?!” Hajime yells, grabbing onto the arrow in his shoulder and pulling it out without flinching. The other soldiers, despite the previous order, grip tightly onto their weapons, angry gazes directed at Wakatoshi because of his accusation.

Tooru immediately steps in. “Don't you dare, _Hajime_!”

He speaks, yells louder than planned, and the moment the last syllable leaves his mouth, the calmness of the lake disappears and waves begin to form and splash all over the rocks on the shore. Then comes a loud, screeching roar that echoes through the air. Then it becomes deeper as a chasm opens in the center of the lake and Tooru's eyes widen when Ancalagon jumps out of it, spreading its wings and casting a shadow upon them all.

But still, he doesn't shake in fear. He stands still as Wakatoshi and watches as the others stare in awe and fear at the giant beast, stepping back and lowering on their legs, ready to run. Tooru sees the shock in Hajime's eyes as Ancalagon lands with them, the earth quaking underneath its weight.

There is a long moment of silence after that. Tooru understands their shock more than well, as there are no dragons of such size in Aobajōsai, if there are any left at all. A long time passes until Hajime finally manages to get his voice out. “Why did you come back after all this time, Oikawa?”

Tooru shakes his head, not answering. Because he hasn't come back. He is just passing by, until he gets what he needs. And then he'll leave forever.

After exchanging a quick glance with Wakatoshi, Tooru finds an unexpected amount of courage filling him, and he turns on his heel, facing Ancalagon and climbing onto its extended wing until he reaches the saddle on its back.

He doesn't see Wakatoshi's expression from up here, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't really believe that Ancalagon didn't even flinch when he climbed onto him like this, without Wakatoshi's guidance. Maybe something's changed, or maybe Ancalagon is just focused on everything in front of it, ready to protect Wakatoshi if anything starts to happen.

But then Hajime is dropping on his knees once more, both hands up in the air in surrender. His eyes are focused on Tooru, he knows this even from the distance.

And it is then that he finally says it.

“ _I missed you so much._ ”

Hajime's voice isn't particularly loud, but it echoes in the empty field, reaching Tooru's ears and forcing all of his will to leave this place to flee. His hands lose their grip on Ancalagon's saddle, his back slumping and his eyes lowering to the ground. Why is he hesitating? This could be a trap and he could get captured at any time. He doesn't want to return to his old life.

“Oikawa.”

Wakatoshi's voice is deep and soothing and he is giving him a choice. And now Tooru has himself asking... Does he want to hear out his former knight? Sure, he never said he wants to speak to him, but why is he asking him not to leave then?

Ancalagon shifts slightly, turning its large head to look at him. And then, with his guts clenching and twisting in him, becoming too painful to bear, he lets go of the saddle and climbs back down. Wakatoshi offers him his hand, but he doesn't take it and slips from the beast's wing to the ground.

He sees Hajime taking a step forward and he does the same. Then it's another one. And another.

Until they are only a couple of meters away from each other. Tooru feels his own eyes narrowing as he looks at the still spurting blood on his shoulder. “Make your men wrap up your wound and then we shall talk.” His voice is cold. Colder than it's ever been. If he must be honest, with himself at least, he's never even expected he could speak this way.

But he doesn't let him know.

He doesn't let anyone know.

Wakatoshi's closeness is making him bold.

Ancalagon's presence is making him feel strong.

Hajime bows then, deeply, and raises his hand. Immediately Shigeru and Akira run to him, remove his armor and clothes to see the damage they have to deal with.

It looks ugly, Tooru recognizes that. But he doesn't even raise a finger to help.

“Matsukawa-san!”

Issei runs to them quickly, pulling a bottle out of his bag and immediately handing it to the two. Takahiro, on the other hand, is bringing some water and then they are both staring at Tooru in disbelief, as if he were some kind of deity. Or maybe a monster.

But all Tooru is focused on is Hajime's pained expression and he feels sick with himself, because he can't bring himself to feel any compassion or guilt even though he is the one who caused him this.

They patiently wait until there are bandages wrapped around Hajime's shoulder and chest. Hajime grunts every now and then, but eventually manages to stand up. His eyes don't move away from Tooru's figure and he keeps opening his mouth, as if wanting to say something, but then closes it every single time.

Until he is dressed again.

“Oikawa...”

“Come with me,” Tooru says. He doesn't really know why, but he just says it. Hajime stands up from the ground, not without fatigue, and then steps towards him. Tooru gives him his back and proceeds to walk towards the forest. He hears Wakatoshi trailing behind him, Hajime a few steps back.

When the others begin to walk as well, Tooru click with his tongue. “Just _you_. No weapons.”

Ancalagon roars and then raises in the air, its enormous wings raising dust, making leaves fall from trees, making water splash against the rocks. He flies high, until he is above the clouds, but Tooru doesn't watch it. All he is focused on is the steady sound of footsteps.

Once they are far from the lake, away from any eavesdroppers, Hajime seems to have just a few of his words back. “I seem to be at a disadvantage here. There is two of you and you are both armed.”

Tooru stops abruptly, turns around with narrowed eyes. “Why shouldn't I kill you?”

Hajime lowers his gaze.

“I would have every right, wouldn't I? You and your family betrayed mine, led Nohebi's army into our kingdom and let them butcher my father and all of the noble houses of Aobajōsai. And then you sold my mother and me to be their sluts.”

Hajime shakes his head at the accusation. “No, Oikawa... I had nothing to do with all that!”

“And now you even deny the obvious, you traitor.”

Hajime starts to panic then. “Oikawa, I swear to you! I didn't know what my father was up to!”

Tooru can't hold the anger building in his chest. “Bullshit! If you didn't know, WHERE were you?! You were supposed to be in that throne room with me and all the others. _Where were you_?!”

“Oikawa-”

“Why am I even wasting my breath. You let my family and friends be butchered like cattle. Who even cares where you were.” Then he turns on his heel. “Ushiwaka-chan, let's go and get what we came here for. I'm sick of being here... I want to go home.”

Hajime shakes his head at that and runs up to Tooru and grabs him by the shoulder, forcing him to face him once more. “You have to let me explain!” When struggling to get away from his grip, Tooru doesn't mean to punch Hajime right into the wounded shoulder, but the man doesn't want to loosen his grip and he doesn't manage to aim properly.

Hajime falls on the ground with a scream, his hand clutching onto his shoulder.

It takes every ounce of Tooru's being not to rush down to help him. But he must be in control of himself and of all his repressed feelings. He can't give in. Not to the man who betrayed his family.

Hajime's body trembles from head to toe, until he starts to breathe deeply. He doesn't stand up even after he collects himself. Tooru wonders if he's still conscious. Maybe he should go and call the others, so they can take him away and he can finally leave this cursed place.

“I wish I could have been there, _Tooru_.”

Brown eyes widen.

“He drugged me and locked me away the night before the meeting. I don't know for how long he was planning to overthrow the throne... If I knew I would have told you, I would have protected you, I swear...” His words are broken as he sobs into the ground, his left hand clenching his shoulder too hard, bringing it more pain than it should.

Tooru's jaw drops and for a moment he just isn't capable of moving, or thinking. His eyes are fixed on his childhood friend, his former knight, as he keeps crying and crying like he's never heard. He doesn't remember Hajime crying when they were kids. He was the one who usually made sure Tooru stopped crying.

“Are you telling me the truth?”

“I swear to you! On my life!”

When Hajime's trembling turns into convulsions, Tooru remembers of the poison on his arrows. A poison not made to kill, but to weaken considerably his victims. He doesn't use it for hunting, but when Wakatoshi saw him in distress the night before, he let him have it, to make him feel a little safer.

Hajime's wound isn't too deep, so that is probably the reason it took so long to work.

“Oikawa,” Wakatoshi's voice echoes in his head and then he finally rushes to Hajime's weak body. He turns him around and raises his head. The man's face is pale, save for the redness around his eyes and cheeks, where his tears are still flowing without any sign of stopping soon.

“We need to take him away,” Wakatoshi says. “It will start raining soon.”

Tooru doesn't register his words at all, too busy with staring at Hajime's pained expression. Something inside him breaks, but then Wakatoshi is there, holding him together. His strong hand is on his shoulder, shaking him away from all the thoughts and memories. And he looks up at the darkening sky.

“I can't carry him though.”

“Do you want me to go and call the others?”

Tooru shakes his head. “No, I'm still not done with him. I'm sure we can find a cave where Ancalagon can fit as well. There should be one at the end of the path we're on.” Then, he lets go of Hajime, puts down his bag and looks for the antidote. When he finds it, he opens it and proceeds to put three drops in Hajime's mouth.

“You have to swallow it. I know it tastes gross, but you have to.”

Hajime starts coughing the moment the bitter liquid touches his tongue. But Tooru holds him down, his eyes never leaving him as he convulses even more than before.

At some point he faints.

And in that very moment, the rain starts to pour onto them.

“He should not get wet, Oikawa. I will carry him to the cave,” Wakatoshi says and immediately proceeds to throw everything he's carrying on the ground, except his sword. He manages to adjust Hajime's unconscious body onto his back, while Tooru decides to carry the bags.

Ancalagon flies over them and then lands when they are in front of the cave. It enters first, growling as it turns around in the slightly small place for its giant body, but it fits eventually, lying onto the ground and watching them come in.

It fixates on Tooru, but the latter pays it no attention.

Wakatoshi lays Hajime down and immediately Tooru removes his own cloak to cover him with it. Then, he proceeds to set their things, prepares a fireplace. The wood is extremely wet, but Ancalagon's fire manages to resist it and creates a source of illumination for the night.

Tooru watches as Wakatoshi pets the dragon's head, his forehead pressed against his muzzle, and decides not to bother them in their intimate moment. He sits down next to Hajime and looks for the ointment they brought along for eventual injuries.

He looks at his best friend's pained expression and, despite all the hate for him and everything contained in this kingdom, he can't bring himself to be cruel. He rips his shirt where the wound is and sees the bandages stained in red. He grabs his knife and cuts them, letting the wound breathe. Then, he pours the ointment onto it and smears it all over the area, wincing when his fingers come in contact with actual flesh.

Hajime grunts in his sleep, but Tooru doesn't stop.

The ointment has some unique characteristics. It manages to coagulate Hajime's blood in only a few minutes and relieve the pain, if the disappearance of the former kinght's frown is any indication of that. Tooru lets out a sigh of relief and finally lets his back rest against the rocky wall.

His eyes return to Wakatoshi and his dragon, who are still close. He watches Wakatoshi's hand move soothingly against the beast's head and focuses on the low rumble coming from the dragon's throat. It must be nice, he figures. Devotion is something he's always wanted to have from someone.

He was supposed to be a leader.

But his own people didn't want him to. He guesses it's fine like this. He is grateful to be alive and once again well, even though all he wanted was for death to come and take him as soon as possible when he used to be a prisoner.

The storm outside starts to rage, a cold breeze coming in the cave and making Tooru shiver. The fire endures it though. Maybe Ancalagon's presence is allowing that, Tooru isn't sure.

“You look cold, Oikawa.”

Tooru shakes his head, bringing his legs to his chest. “It's alright. I can endure it,” he tells him – or maybe he tells it to himself. All the heat he got used to during the last year made him forget how cold winter can actually be. He feels himself shaking and curses.

“Ancalagon will not hurt you. Come here.”

Tooru obeys then and sits next to Wakatoshi, resting his back against the dragon. Immediately, warmth envelops him. He finds himself exhaling, closing his eyes.

No one speaks for hours then. Tooru slowly drifts away, until finally, when the storm reaches its worst, he hears his name being called.

“Tooru...”

He finds Hajime facing him, his body still on the ground, immobile. He doesn't reply.

“Why are you here?”

Tooru sighs. “Why should I tell you?”

Hajime coughs. “You don't have to.” His voice is very low, very weak. The thunders roar in the sky and Tooru can barely hear him. But he does his best to. Even though he has nothing to say back.

Wakatoshi then stands up and walks to his former knight's body. He uncovers him and then proceeds to run his hands over him, searching for hidden weapons, poisons or whatever could harm them during the night. He isn't rough nor gentle. Tooru doesn't follow his movements though, his head hurts too much.

“I swear to you, I had nothing-”

“We'll talk in the morning. Save your breath,” he brushes him off, because every ounce of him screams at him the same things. _You are not ready_. When Wakatoshi returns by his side, he grabs one of their bags and pulls out some bread. They split it, offering some to Hajime as well, but the latter refuses it.

And when the fire finally dies out, Ancalagon is already snoring.

Wakatoshi drifts off slowly as well, but Tooru feels himself wide awake.

“I still can't believe you're here.”

And for once, after so many years, he finds himself agreeing with him.

“Neither can I.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I apologize for taking so long, again. I'm trying so hard to feel better, but I just fail every single time and get even worse. by now, even getting out from bed has become a hard task for me. 
> 
> I really hope you like this, even if it's a short chapter. But I did my best.
> 
> Thank you very much and sorry for making you wait.
> 
> -
> 
> I don't know when I'll be able to finish the stories from the UshiOi Week Collection. Hopefully, it will be by the end of the summer.
> 
> -
> 
> Thank you very much for all the Kudos, Bookmarks and Comments. They really mean a lot to me!
> 
> I'll see you at the next update!


	12. Beyond Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you don't let me go now, I'll have him burn all of them.”
> 
> Tooru knows he has stroke a nerve when Issei's eyes widen and his teeth grit. His grip, though, stays as strong as ever. “You wouldn't dare.”
> 
> Tooru finds himself smiling ever so slightly.
> 
> Nothing here is holding him back anymore.

It is very early in the morning when they all awake. The smell of cooked meat invades his nostrils and when he opens his eyes, Tooru sees fire.

Everything else is still rather dark.

He blinks a couple of times, not sure where to place himself, not sure what of what he remembers is true. He looks further, over the shades of yellows and oranges and into the darkness and sees a familiar face. Then, he finally hears movement and finds Wakatoshi cooking rabbits and he exhales, almost unconsciously, as relief spreads inside him.

He leans back and feels a smooth warmth against his back. He turns his head to the side and finds Ancalagon, wide awake, lying with its front legs crossed and its head turned towards the outside of the cave, staring at a distant spot.

Tooru shifts slightly against it and the beast immediately focuses its attention onto him. But he is too tired to move away and the beast doesn't try to shake him off. So he rests against those black scales as Wakatoshi adjusts the cloak over him.

“Are you hungry?” he asks and Tooru just nods. Before Wakatoshi has the chance to turn around and take a hold of one of the rabbits, Hajime stands up and does it for him, choosing the largest one of the threeand then then approaching Tooru to offer it to him. Ancalagon growls lowly, but Tooru pays it no attention.

He looks at green eyes and finds no threat, but he still hesitates.

“I didn't cook them. You have nothing to fear.”

Tooru sighs and finally takes it. He doesn't start eating before Hajime is back at his place with his own portion.

The silence is heavier than last night. Tooru doesn't know where to begin, doesn't know whether he should ask for more explanation on Hajime's story or not. Why should he believe him? He should just leave and not put his and Wakatoshi's lives at risk.

“Why are you here, Oikawa? You never told me yesterday.”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because I want to help you.”

Tooru rolls his eyes, immediately regretting his surprising slackness. “I don't need your help.” He then stands up, takes a hold of the cloak and hands it over to Wakatoshi. “I just want to get away from here as soon as possible and return home.” He heads for his quiver and bow, throws them over his shoulder and gets ready to head out, his food forgotten on the ground, his appetite forgotten.

“ _This_ is your home,” Hajime says and Tooru's eyes widen.

Wakatoshi's eyes are immediately on the injured knight and Ancalagon stands up as well, its bright red eyes staring at Hajime. The latter raises his good arm in surrender, his expression turning into a pained one. “Oikawa, I don't want to hurt you. Please, just let me help.”

Tooru shakes his head. “No, I don't believe you. You just want to set me a trap and get me back to Nohebi.” He turns around then. “Tell me, the prize offered for my head must be enormous. What is it? A casket of gold, a title? With a castle as well, most likely.” But he is soon tired of talking. Hajime doesn't reply and instead just looks away, so he storms out.

Ancalagon follows him, taking flight over the woods, but Tooru knows he is watching him from above.

He hears Wakatoshi's voice calling his name from somewhere behind him, but he doesn't stop. Instead, he starts to run, through the trees and bushes, back to the shore of the lake. As expected, he finds the other soldiers there, camping. They are all wide awake, their attention of him as soon as he reveals himself.

They stand up quickly and Issei and Takahiro head towards him, stopping only a few meters away.

“Where's Iwaizumi?”

Tooru keeps his expression cold, distant. “He's alive, don't worry. He'll soon return to you.” He then proceeds to walk towards the cave, ignoring the stares piercing through him.

“Why are you here?”

Tooru groans. “Will you stop asking me the same question over and over?! Just leave me alone. I said I'm not here to stay!”

“We are not asking you to!”

Issei runs over to him, taking a hold of his arm and pulling him towards himself. Tooru almost trips at the strength of the man, but manages to stay on his feet. Ancalagon lands on the ground with a roar, and the others immediately prepare themselves to fight.

“If you order him to burn me, you are burning too,” Issei says.

Tooru just glares at him. But it is a moment in which he realizes something: _he is not who he used to be_. He is not a prince, nor a slave.

_***_

“ _All dragons have a bond with their rider. Ancalagon knows when I am in danger, when I am angry or sad. He knows what to do without me commanding him,” Wakatoshi says._

_The dragon swims in the pool, slowly going in circles and emitting some strange sounds. To Tooru it sounds like a song._

_The moonlight is strong tonight and the gems have a beautiful glint. All the light is reflected on those pitch black scales and Tooru is just lost in them. The water is once again hotter than usual, but it's pleasant. His legs don't feel like burning, so he keeps sitting at the edge of the pool and keeps enjoying the view._

“ _But you can command it, right? I mean... You always speak to him in that weird language.”_

_Wakatoshi hums. “A dragon is not meant to be commanded. It doesn't obey orders, but it lets me guide it.”_

_Tooru raises an eyebrow. “Isn't it the same?”_

“ _I guess it is difficult to explain. To put it in simple terms, I always give him a choice, even if he is a beast. And he knows that. However, because of our bond, I am dear to him. So he will do anything he must to protect me if needed.”_

 _Tooru listens to every word carefully. “What about those who are dear to you? Why does he hate them?”_ Why does he hate me? _It is the only thing he wants to know. Why can't they all live in peace. He doesn't want to steal Wakatoshi for himself, nor take him away to live in a city or a village. He is perfectly happy with where they are, with how things are._

_He is grateful to the man who saved his life, who cured his injuries, gave him his food and a shelter. And he helped him to find his strength again, to make him remember at least a part of what he once was, what he wanted to be. He can stand on his own now and as his own man, he let himself fall in love._

_Because Wakatoshi is everything he's always wanted in a partner._

_He is reliable, kind, but strong as well._

_They are on the same level, not counting Ancalagon of course, but still._

“ _He just wishes to protect me.”_

“ _I am not a threat though.”_

_Wakatoshi approaches him, puts a large hand over his shoulder, squeezing ever so gently. “Just give him time. When the moment comes, he will stand for you.”_

***

Tooru feels something inside him change.

Issei doesn't threaten him, nor it looks like he has any ill intentions, but he keeps holding him in a vice grip and Tooru knows he wouldn't be able to escape if Ancalagon breathed fire over them. But the dragon is ready, its red eyes meeting Tooru's, and he understands.

Ancalagon isn't bonded with him, but is still ready to protect him.

“If you don't let me go now, I'll have him burn all of them.”

Tooru knows he has stroke a nerve when Issei's eyes widen and his teeth grit. His grip, though, stays as strong as ever. “You wouldn't dare.”

Tooru finds himself smiling ever so slightly.

_Nothing here is holding him back anymore._

“Very well then.”

He says nothing then, but despite that, Ancalagon opens his jaw and Tooru doesn't need to look at him to know that beautiful light is forming in the back of his throat. He sees it in the fear of Issei's eyes. The man winces and lets go of Tooru as if he himself was made of fire.

He kneels. “No, wait! Please...”

Tooru just turns around and everything is back to the way it was before. Ancalagon retreats and stands by him. It takes everything in Tooru's being not to burst into tears - tears of joy they probably would be, because Ancalagon just did what Wakatoshi promised he would do.

“Come with me,” he tells him. He doesn't speak the language Wakatoshi does. He told him it is an ancient language spoken only by a few selected people in Shiratorizawa. But Ancalagon seems to understand nonetheless.

“ _Our understanding goes beyond words,”_ Wakatoshi had said once.

Tooru hopes it is the same for him.

He leaves the soldiers behind and heads for the cave.

The entrance is placed under a few rocks on the shore and leads underneath the lake. The opening is large enough for Ancalagon to fit in as well, so they can head in together. The darkness is expected, so Tooru pulls out a torch from his bag and the beast seems to understand. It blows steam out of its nose, but it is enough for the material to start burning.

The dragon's presence is reassuring.

The darkness swallows them, but Tooru fears nothing. The humidity is strong, making the rocks extremely slippery, but his memories are enough to make his body act the right way, keeping its balance as they move forward. The tunnel isn't too long, so soon enough they arrive at a crossing.

The dragon lets out a low sound and Tooru just shrugs.

“I'll lead the way, don't worry.”

He takes the right turn and soon enough they arrive at a larger space and the moment the fire reaches it, all of it illuminates of a bright blue color. The sapphire is everywhere, just like Tooru remembers it. His family's never allowed anyone to mine it.

But now, he can see damage on those blue walls. He frowns – the new ruler must have no respect for this place. After all, rulers never respect the countries they conquer; they become providers for wealth and it doesn't matter what it takes to produce it.

It disgusts him. Men just have to destroy everything, don't they?

At his time, all that could be taken were pieces that crumbled after earthquakes or pieces that didn't require intensive mining. Still, the places with those characteristics have always been a secret.

“Just a little further.”

He guides the beast to another place, just behind a rocky wall. “I'll go in on my own. You won't fit here,” he tells it. He drops his bags and weapons, only keeping the torch and a bag made of soft fabric, and gets on his knees. He crawls into a low, narrow tunnel, and hopes not to be disappointed.

He isn't, fortunately. And he soon finds himself in another opening.

This time, however, there are pieces of sapphire scattered everywhere. Tooru feels the stones moving underneath him and lets out a quiet cry of joy.

He puts the torch against the rocky wall and proceeds to gather the treasure. The bag he took with himself can contain quite a lot of it, but he reminds himself he still needs to carry it. He can only offer it to Ancalagon once they are back in the cave.

Perhaps he is too eager to leave, if his frantic collecting is any sign of it. Soon, he feels wetness on his hands and a way too familiar smell. He is bleeding. The precious gems are sharp, not modeled at all. But still, he doesn't pay it too much attention and keeps digging and picking up whatever he finds most beautiful.

When he gathers the amount he wants, he ties the fabric, making sure nothing will drop out. He reaches for the torch and in that very moment, something catches his eye. He points the light in that direction and finds a darker blue in front of him.

“What the-”

He crawls closer to it.

It looks like stone, but not quite so. He reaches out to it and removes the sapphires surrounding the item. He takes it in his hands, the rounded shape fitting perfectly between them. It appears to be covered in scales, but it is much harder.

It looks like an egg.

But he doesn't understand. What is this doing here?

No one's ever seen animals around here, especially not animals large enough to lay eggs of this size. It is at least twice as large as an ostrich's egg, and also heavier.

He shakes his head.

Wakatoshi must be looking for him.

He decides to put it in the bag as well and return to the starting point. He finds Ancalagon waiting for him exactly where he left it, its head tilted to the side as he studies the small entrance. When it finds him emerging from it, he growls.

“Sorry for making you wait,” Tooru says. He gathers all his equipment and proceeds to lead the way out.

As expected, Wakatoshi is at the entrance of the cave, with Hajime and all the others behind him. But he doesn't pay the latter ones any attention, his gaze only fixed on Wakatoshi's. The man meets him halfway, immediately taking a hold of the bag.

Gold immediately notices the blood on his palms. “You hurt yourself,” Wakatoshi whispers, so only the two of them can hear.

“You should have told me you wanted sapphire, Oikawa,” Hajime speaks immediately. “We could have helped you mine it.”

Tooru glares at him. “This place isn't made to be destroyed by the likes of us. Whoever is ruling this kingdom is about to destroy everything my family had tried to protect for centuries.”

Hajime takes a step forward, until he is standing beside Wakatoshi. When he finally realizes Tooru is bleeding, he takes a hold of his wrist. He says nothing to that and turns around towards his men. “I need bandages.”

Tooru tears himself away from him. “I said I don't need your help.”

Hajime doesn't seem to care and walks to Shigeru, who hands him the items. He then gives them to Wakatoshi and nothing more is needed. Gold eyes meet Tooru's and he motions him to follow. So Tooru does, not failing to notice the dangerous glare the soldiers are receiving from the dragon.

Wakatoshi leads him to the lake, tells him to take off his shoes and wash his wounds so he can wrap them up. Tooru already knows the procedure, so he obeys without complaining. He winces at how cold the water is, but he soon remembers this is not home. Dragons don't live here to keep the heat streaming.

He kneels down, not caring about soaking his clothes and proceeds to wash the blood. The reflection of his face is soon covered by red and Tooru feels his shoulders slumping.

Why did he even come here?

“Oikawa,” Hajime's voice comes from behind him and soon the former knight is next to him. This time, however, Tooru doesn't have the strength to move or threaten him.

“You promised we would talk.”

Tooru presses his lips together, only for a moment. “Talking won't change the past.”

Hajime sighs, then hesitantly raises a hand and places it on Tooru's shoulder. “But I want to make you understand that I didn't betray you. I would have never. My father never said anything until I found myself in that cell with the others. We were freed only after you were taken away and had to choose to either bend the knee or die.”

Tooru listens to every word carefully. It is still hard to believe him, but he understands. Nobody wants to die young. “So you bent the knee to the usurper.”

“No.”

Tooru's head snaps towards him. “But-”

“We escaped before our trial. We killed the guards and fled out of here and to Karasuno.”

“Karasuno?” Their king has always been a good friend of his father. They were crowned on the same day and they made an official alliance between their kingdoms shortly after. Along with Nekoma, they became a coalition, a force to be reckoned with.

And there was peace for more than thirty years.

“We were welcomed there, despite the prizes offered for our heads. King Sawamura asked us if he could do something to fight the invader, but you were already taken away. We didn't know where to, nor whether you were still alive or not. We tried to track you down, but no one ever managed to.”

Tooru hears a sob after that last sentence and when he turns around he finds Hajime crying. He doesn't bother to hide himself and instead keeps his head low but nonetheless visible to him.

“From that day everything started to go downhill. The lands and the mines are being exploited, our people are being tortured and treated as mere slaves, forced to work day and night and then having to surrender everything they produce to the crown, save for the minimal amount to keep them alive. Even if it isn't enough.”

And Tooru believes that. He's only been to a few villages, a few inns, but he's seen it. Misery and starvation, so clear on those thin faces and bodies. He remembers that old man's tired face, the cracking of his bones when the soldiers beat him up.

It makes him want to cry too, but... He just can't. Not here, not now.

“I didn't cause this, so why are you telling me this?”

Hajime just shrugs. “I don't know.”

Tooru turns around and finds the others standing on the shore, lined up and quiet. They watch them, over them and Tooru feels his chest clench. They all used to be his knights, his friends. He suddenly remembers the hunting trips, the evenings in the villages.

But as soon as he remembers it, it all slips away.

“You should return to Karasuno. You are not safe here. And I'll be out of here as well.”

Hajime winces at that. “Oikawa, you... You are alive! And you can change everything if you want to!”

Tooru stands up. “What are you talking about?”

“We can take our home back! We can save the people. You could be king, and-”

“Stop right there,” Tooru interrupts. Hajime stays on his knees, green eyes staring up, pleadingly. But Tooru isn't moved. “I have no intention of ever returning here for good. I live far away from here now, where no one will ever be able to do what was done to me again.”

Hajime stands up now too. “Oikawa, I can only imagine what you-”

“No, you can't.” Tooru turn on his heel and walks out. He meets Wakatoshi, offering him his hands and the man quietly wraps the soft fabric around the cut skin. It hurts initially, but it soon feels nice. As usual, Wakatoshi makes him feel stronger.

“You can't imagine it, Hajime. You could never understand it.”

“But how can you forget about your people?! No amount of pain can be equivalent to what they are going through!”

It is in that moment that Tooru feels himself being overcome by rage. “And what the hell would you know about that?!” He bolts towards Hajime, taking him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer. “On the day Daishou marched into the throne room, I've seen my father getting killed and my mother being dragged away into a soldier camp. That night I was chained in my bedroom and raped until I couldn't speak nor breathe anymore. When I was brought to Nohebi, I was sold and and abused by so many men that I lost count of them, forced to sleep in a cell with no shelter against the cold and beaten up on a daily basis. I was the prize for those who successfully completed missions and also a toy for the king to play with whenever he was in the mood!”

He is screaming by now, but he doesn't care. “It all lasted for five years. Five, fucking, endless years! And when I managed to escape, I was followed by hundreds of men, who decided to hunt me down instead of just trying to reach me. And during those five years, no one of those people ever thought about even trying to look for me. Not even you!”

He pushes Hajime away and onto the ground, then launches himself at him and punches him in the face as hard as his body lets him. Now he is stained by blood once more, but this time it isn't his. He hits him again, and again.

Tooru doesn't know why he is doing it. He's always found violence disgusting, repulsive – he urged his father to sentence those who enjoyed to hurt the weaker ones, especially when they chose not to, or simply couldn't defend themselves.

But his body is moving on instinct, fueled by years and years of pain, frustration and desperation. He can't bring himself to stop, not even when his brain is screaming at him to do so (is it, really?).

And Hajime just takes it.

It is after the sixth strike that Wakatoshi pulls him away. “Oikawa, stop!”

“Don't you dare telling me this is my home or something I should fight for! _No one was ever there for me_!”

Wakatoshi holds him against himself, whispering gently in his ear, telling him to calm down, that he isn't in any danger. He holds his bleeding hands, gently touching the torn skin of his knuckles, and Tooru surrenders. “I don't owe anything to anyone.”

Hajime lays there, staring at the cloudy sky, the water enveloping him but not being deep enough to swallow him. His whole face is covered in blood, his parted lips tasting a copious amount of it. Only when Tooru is completely out of the water, do the others run in and offer him help.

Tooru watches for a while, feeling wetness on his face, salt on his tongue.

“Wakatoshi... Let's go home.”

“Oikawa, please... Don't leave...”

But he doesn't listen. Ancalagon lowers on its strong legs and they both climb on. They adjust their bags on its spikes and then sit on the saddle. Tooru gives his past one last glance and the tears only keep falling.

“Oikawa, please!” Hajime screams, despite his mouth full of blood, despite the pain in his skull and shoulder, and despite the heaviness of the water on his soaked clothes.

Tooru just grips onto the saddle and Ancalagon starts to run. The air soon begins to his him, although not as violently as he hit his childhood friend. He decides it doesn't matter and closes his eyes. Wakatoshi's arms are securely wrapped around his waist and he knows he won't fall.

_Ever again._

In less than a minute the lake becomes just a small dot on the distant ground, one that Tooru could destroy with one press of a thumb. His gaze is lost on it and it burns and brings heaviness upon him whole. He feels nauseous and exhausted.

“Oikawa, we will be home soon.”

Tooru decides to hold one of Wakatoshi's hands. “Please, don't call me Oikawa anymore.”

.

They fly away from Aobajōsai and the trees change color, the weather grows only a little warmer. But Tooru doesn't manage to make it to the ocean, let along fly over it.

“I need you to land,” he yells. Wakatoshi shifts against him, trying to keep him steadier, but Tooru can't control his shaking. “Let's land, please! I... I can't!”

Ancalagon immediately dives through the air and towards the ground, at a speed Tooru has never seen him fly. They land in the middle of a prairie and Tooru stumbles down from the saddle, drops on his knees and finds himself throwing up the whole content of his stomach.

The burning comes immediately after, starting in his stomach and spreading up to his throat.

Wakatoshi jumps down as well, immediately taking a hold of Tooru before he collapses in his own vomit. He raises him up and brings a hand upon his forehead.

“You are burning.”

Tooru hears him, he swear he does, but he can barely see him; his eyes are extremely watery, his head is spinning and his whole body suddenly becomes to heavy. Why is it so cold?

“Wakatoshi... I-”

Wakatoshi is frowning, he realizes. But then his cloak is being wrapped more tightly around him, the hood raised up to cover his head. He doesn't know if it's better or not, but when Wakatoshi carries him back to Ancalagon, he doesn't find himself begging him to put him down again.

The air hits him as they fly away once more.

He is too weak to hold himself up and balanced on the saddle, but Wakatoshi doesn't allow him to fall. Ever.

The sun is raising up with every hour spend flying and soon the cold is gone and a warm, pleasant wind welcomes them. When Tooru looks around himself, he sees the beautiful, crystal blue of the ocean gracing his eyes.

It looks endless, peaceful.

Tooru would very much like to just let himself fall until he is swallowed whole. Maybe then it would hurt less. Maybe then all this pain would disappear along with his misery. It would be so much easier.

_So much easier._

He only has to let go.

A strong pain shoots through his head then, and his world turns black.

.

When he regains consciousness, he finds himself inside the cave. Furs are covering his naked body as steam impregnates the air, filling it with humidity. It is pleasant. Familiar.

He sits up and wraps the blanket around himself, only to crawl out and find Wakatoshi stumbling upon him. “You are awake,” that deep voice mutters and Tooru finds his lips curving up.

“Yeah.”

He is about to stand up, but Wakatoshi doesn't allow him to, and instead checks his temperature and tells him not too move too much, as he is still quite feverish. Tooru lives a déjà vu, immediately reminiscent of the first days spent here with him.

“I just couldn't stay there for another moment,” he says and Wakatoshi understands.

“I know.”

“I don't want to go back there.”

Wakatoshi smiles then, a rare occurrence, as usual. He kneels beside him and gently caresses his damp hair, reassuring him, making his heart beat a little slower. “You do not have to go back, ever again.”

Tooru finds his own hands shaking at his sides. He looks at them and finds them extremely frail, the wounds stinging more than they should, despite the medications. Maybe it's because of the sickness, maybe because of the memory of the traumatizing sight of his former knight bathing in a pool of bloodstained water with all of his soldiers.

 _No,_ he tells himself. _They have nothing to do with me anymore._

“This is your home now, if you wish it to be,” Wakatoshi says then. Tooru's eyes fall upon the sack of gems, the reason he put himself through all that. It is still untouched, closed with the rope, leaned against the rocky wall.

“Wakatoshi...”

“Yes?”

“Could you bring me the treasure?”

Wakatoshi immediately complies and Tooru watches him as he takes it up. He glances at Ancalagon and finds the beast staring at him fiercely from atop his treasure. It doesn't look menacing and Tooru finds himself feeling a little better, knowing that son enough, he won't have to fear for his life anymore.

The man lets Tooru unwrap it and in doing so, the fur slips from Tooru's shoulders, leaving him half naked in front of Wakatoshi. But none of them cares.

Tooru throws the rope aside and Wakatoshi waits to see those gems, but instead, Tooru finds himself with both his bandaged hands wrapped around the egg. He pulls it out and watches as Wakatoshi's eyes widen.

“Tooru, this...”

Tooru's eyes get lost in the deep, dark color of the scales covering the egg.

It looks beautiful, shining despite the darkness of the night, absorbing the colors of the gems stuck in the rock and turning them into shades of blue.

“Where did you find it?”

Tooru can't tear his gaze away from it. “It was in the cave, with the sapphire. I... I just picked it up. I don't even know to whom I belongs to, I-”

“It is alright. This belongs to no one.”

Tooru is startled by the interruption. He needs to ask him for explanation, he...

“This ought to be at least a few hundreds of years old. Look at the scales – they are almost completely fossilized,” Wakatoshi explains, tracing a finger over every single one of them. But Tooru still doesn't understand. It looks like stone, but he swears he feels heat irradiating from it; barely perceptible, but it is there.

He looks up, at the dragon observing the scene and understands. The scales are just like Ancalagon's, the color and texture very different, but at the same time they are the same thing. He holds it tighter and his breath hitches in his throat when Wakatoshi's hands run over his.

“Will it ever hatch?”

“Most likely not.”

Tooru lowers it on his lap, and is so, _so_ glad Wakatoshi doesn't need him to say anything to move closer to him. 

When they kiss, silence reigns over them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I am finally back with a new update for this story. It's really been a rollercoaster for me to write it. I just arrived to a point where Oikawa is starting to break down - the past can't be forgotten, no matter how much we try to do so.
> 
> I honestly hope I didn't screw it up too much, especially because my own mind is very chaotic right now. But writing helps quite a lot, even though I always feel like whatever I do isn't good enough. I am trying hard and I'm so sorry for keeping you guys waiting so long all the time. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the Kudos, Comments and Bookmarks. All the support I received until now really helps me a lot during the darkest and most unproductive days. 
> 
> I can't wait to start working on the next chapter, although I might come back to this one and change a few things in the future (it's not a promise though).


	13. Pale Skin, Blue Gems and Warm Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru leans into the touch, closing his eyes. “Yeah...”
> 
> It is what it is.
> 
> The hatchlings scatter around after running children and Tooru can't help but smile.
> 
> “It is beautiful here,” he says then.

“You are pale, Tooru.”

Tooru presses his lips at the statement, hugging his legs to his chest as Wakatoshi comes out of the pool.

His egg is next to him, resting against his hip – he has trouble letting it go, even for a second. He likes to hold it, run his hand over the scales, counting them until their number is imprinted in the back of his mind (and then he counts them again to make sure he didn't make a mistake). He sleeps with it, holding it close when the nightmares return and when Wakatoshi wakes him up to make him drink things that help him sleep.

That one sentence...

He keeps hearing it over and over.

“You are pale.”

_He knows._

He feels weak, exhausted and yet restless. His skin is white, whiter than it's ever been, and dry. It almost hurts whenever he runs his hands over it, even if Wakatoshi keeps putting ointments on him twice a day. It keeps enlightening every single scar covering his body.

Wakatoshi doesn't let him move around too much, doesn't let him swim. They don't go hunting together. Tooru only ever stays between the covers or somewhere close to them, too tired to even move his fingers most of the time. He is sick of this, sick of himself.

He was hoping he would be stronger by now, but it took one dip into the past and he is a mess all over again.

Ancalagon is not paying him much attention – he still hasn't felt good enough to offer him the gems; they keep lying in that sack, close to the many boxes of supplies beside the hidden ice. Tooru hopes he will be accepted when the time comes.

“First, you need to heal. If there are going to be problems and you find yourself in danger, you must be able to run,” Wakatoshi tells him, when Tooru wants nothing more than to kiss him and have _one_ night of the intimacy he so badly craves.

Even now, as Wakatoshi sits next to him, a strong hand caressing his brown locks, oh so gently – Tooru wonders how something like this can be possible – he only wishes to pull him under the covers with himself and never let him leave.

“Your fever is back,” Wakatoshi says as he touches his forehead.

Tooru finds his eyelids heavy all of a sudden. “Is it?” His tongue feels heavy as well.

“I should bring you to Washijō-san. Maybe he can cure you.”

Tooru hums quietly. “It seems like a good idea. But I'm afraid I can't move.” His body doesn't listen, his consciousness a barely reachable thread he struggles to hold onto. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees Hajime calling his name, so, despite how hard it is, he tries to keep them open.

Wakatoshi lowers himself and then kisses him. It is a simple peck on the lips, but it is enough, for now. He hates to be like this, back to square one, all of his progress disappearing. He hates it, _he hates it_.

“You should sleep.”

“I know.”

Wakatoshi covers his eyes and it doesn't take long.

Then, Hajime is once again in front of him and they stand in front of each other, in silence.

Only for a moment, before chaos erupts.

***

Riding Ancalagon is easy, despite his sickness. He is able to keep his balance and hold onto it. The saddle feels steady between his legs and his lungs feel like heaven when the fresh air of the early morning hits him. Wakatoshi insists for him to wear his cloak. Tooru thinks he is probably right. He doubts he'd feel this good if it weren't for the extra clothing.

They don't bring their weapons, nor any supplies other than a few golden coins. Tooru feels as light as a feather as they fly above the clouds, the beautiful blue of the sky managing to make Tooru feel in awe every single time.

When they land into the village, Tooru isn't too surprised when he finds it lively and flooded with people despite the early hour. A nice smell of freshly-baked bread immediately catches his attention, but he is suggested not to eat anything until the old man sees him.

They arrive at his house and Washijō lets them in. As soon as he sees Tooru, he grunts.

No one speaks while the man visits him. He checks his pulse, his eyes, then takes some of his blood to see if it reacts in a weird way with some substances he holds in the vials on his desk. Tooru only keeps his focus on Wakatoshi, who is now sitting in one of the chairs by the window.

“Take off your clothes, Oikawa-san. I need to make sure you weren't bitten by anything.”

Tooru obeys, and once again the man proceeds to examine every inch of bare skin. Just like the first time, Tooru doesn't feel uncomfortable. In Nohebi, even those who were supposed to take care of him and make sure he didn't die often let themselves be carried away.

He still feels his skin crawling, itching, burning at the mere memory.

But Washijō is the exact opposite. He does touch him a lot, everywhere, but there is nothing more than simple examination as the goal of those old hands.

“Did you go anywhere in particular lately?”

Tooru hesitates, immediately looking for Wakatoshi's eyes, looking for any signs. The other man just nods at him, with nothing but sincerity behind his gesture – Tooru can't doubt him anymore. _Did he ever?_

“We went to Aobajōsai.”

The old man by now is on his knees, examining Tooru's legs, but at the mention of the other kingdom, he looks up. He raises an eyebrow. “Why did you go there? You know they must be looking for you, right?”

Tooru closes his eyes, exhaling heavily.

“I went there so I could stay here.” He feels the man's hand halt for only a moment, as if surprised by his declaration.

“You want to stay with Wakatoshi.”

“If he'll have me.”

Washijō hums. “I understand. Well then, you have no bites nor fresh cuts anywhere. That can only mean one thing.” He stands up and walks to his desk, rummaging through various papers and vials. Tooru observes him with wide eyes once he realizes he hasn't spoken for more than a minute. “It means what?”

“That your sickness has nothing to do with your body.”

Tooru feels his jaw dropping, his whole body grow limp. “Huh?”

Then, Washijō approaches him once more, with a couple of vials in his hands. He hands them both to him and Tooru reluctantly takes them, still waiting for an explanation. The maester points to his clothes, letting him know he can dress up.

As he does so, he proceeds to speak: “Your kingdom is the place where you are most in danger now. You went there for a reason, while more than aware of how it could have ended. You might have thought you were ready to return, but your mind clearly wasn't. And now, since you are back and safe, all the pressure is being released and you are paying its consequences with your body.”

Tooru isn't sure he understands – he _definitely_ doesn't understand. He finishes putting on his clothes, then proceeds to examine the vials.

“Even though your body doesn't need to be cured, you can put a few drops of each potion in your drinks so you can strengthen it. I believe once a day should suffice.”

As soon as the explanation is over, Tooru bows deeply to the man. “Thank you very much.” His hair is being ruffled then, and he is urged to straighten up. Washijō is smiling and watching him with fond eyes. “I still remember when you were a child. Even though I saw you in only one occasion, you were impressed in my memory till this day.”

Tooru isn't sure whether he should be flattered by it, but he is sure the curiosity inside him will devour him if he doesn't ask. “May I know which occasion it was?”

“Your father's thirtieth birthday. You were five years old.”

He can't remember it. Of course he can't.

“You were playing with your mother during the banquet while I spoke to your father.”

There are so many questions Tooru wants to ask, but he doesn't manage to utter a word, the memory of his beloved mother flooding his mind. He was often told he looks like her. He remembers her kindness and grace – she would always take care of him and play with him despite her royal status. The handmaidens were rarely ever allowed to touch him after his birth. His father liked to tell him that a lot.

“You should go and eat something now,” Washijō suggests.

“Yes.”

Wakatoshi takes him to the bakery and buys a large loaf of milk bread. The woman at the counter offers to put in some extra cream in it, freshly made, still warm. Tooru accepts and when he tries it, he can't help but moan slightly.

They find a place to sit outside the inn on the opposite side of the road. Tooru receives a warm beverage that tastes very sweet – he loves that too.

Tooru can't help but let his eyes wander over the people walking up and down the streets. There are so many young dragons flying around, the larger ones high in the sky. The children play with the smaller ones – one of them even flies down onto their table and tries to steal a bite from Tooru's bread.

He doesn't let it and laughs when the small creature screeches at him.

He isn't strong-willed enough to hold his stance and soon tears a piece of bread and gives it to it. It sniffs it a few times, then snorts and leaves it there.

“I suppose you'd prefer some meat, huh?”

When the little dragon realizes it is going to get none, it flies away into the crowd.

Tooru feels a lump in his throat, a hard one to swallow.

“Wakatoshi?”

“Hm?”

“Why is everyone so... happy here?”

The questions seems to throw Wakatoshi off guard, if the puzzled look he receives is any clue. Tooru finds himself smiling bitterly, the images of the villages they went to flashing through his mind at the speed of light. Here, he has yet to see one beggar.

“I suppose it might look shocking to you, Tooru. You might not believe me, but no one here lives to tear down the other.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Wakatoshi seems to think about what to say next – perhaps, he is picking the words or trying to make it as simple as possible. “You see, we have no concept of greed. The kingdom is organized so that everyone must collaborate and progress together. There is no point in having more wealth than others, because the inequality only brings conflict.”

Tooru finds himself laughing at that. “What? How can any of this be possible? Greed is part of the human nature – you can't possibly ask me to believe it's this simple.”

Wakatoshi shrugs ever so slightly at the remark. “This is a secret island; it is not small, but it is not shown on any map. Most of the countries believe Shiratorizawa to be only a legend.”

Tooru agrees. He himself didn't believe in it until he was brought here.

“We have no outsiders here, unless brought in under particular conditions. Therefore, the country needs to be able to stand for itself, with its own resources and that would be impossible if everybody didn't have their role in the matter, wouldn't it?”

“I guess you're right,” Tooru replies, but he still finds it hard to believe. “I don't get it though. What about the royalty and the noblemen?”

Wakatoshi takes a sip from his coffee, then a mouthful of his own bread. “Nobles don't stand out when compared to the other people. Sure, they have a certain family name and are therefore known all over the kingdom, but it stays at the title. It isn't uncommon for the young nobles to help the farmers or the merchants.”

Tooru stares at him in disbelief, hanging onto every word. The mere image in his head is inconceivable. “But-”

“There is nothing shameful in working. The more people are united, the better it is for everyone. Farmers provide the raw material, the artisans and cooks transform it. But the final product isn't only meant for those who are able to buy the products. Some of them return to the farmers, in exchange for the work they do during the year.”

It doesn't make sense though. “Then why do you even have money?”

“Money can be used here, but it isn't necessary. For example, if we offered the baker a deer or rabbit, we wouldn't have to use gold.”

Another hatchling flies onto their table, but this one seems more interested in Tooru's hands. It bites his finger, but since it has no teeth, it doesn't hurt. Tooru lets out a laugh and raises his hand and the dragon decides to wrap itself around his wrist and forearm and then lets out a quiet cry. Tooru decides to pet its head gently and the creature seems to enjoy it.

Still, he can't help but ponder over Wakatoshi's words.

“What about the King? Don't you have to pay tributes to the Crown?”

Wakatoshi excuses himself for a moment and enters the inn. He comes out a minute later with a plate of meat, cut into tiny pieces.

“Of course we have to pay tributes, but in exchange of that we receive services. The Crown finances the maesters and the soldiers, even though Shiratorizawa has never been in a war. They keep only a small part of what we give then to maintain their status.”

The dragon untangles from Tooru and hops onto the table when Tooru takes a piece of raw meat. Wakatoshi advises him to throw it and he does. The beast follows it with its gaze and then spits fire onto it until it's black from the outside. It jumps then and catches it, swallowing it after only a couple of bites.

Tooru resumes his caresses on its head. “This is how every kingdom should be. But people are way too greedy to make everything flow smoothly...”

More hatchlings land onto their table now, each taking a piece of meat and no more.

Wakatoshi observes them, quietly. “This is a place made for everyone. It wouldn't work if there were homeless and poor people. A status is a title, nothing more – it is then people's choice on how to interpret it. Here, it defines one's role, but it does not make them more important than others.”

Tooru sighs. “I still don't see how this is possible.”

“Education is the key. Maesters like Washijō-san not only have the duty to cure the ill, but also to teach everyone. If people are not conscious of how the system works, they will never know what their role is in it.”

It is amazing how Wakatoshi answers everything so easily. And if he thinks about it, Tooru can clearly see what the mistake everywhere is. Education in Aobajōsai has always been something limited to the higher classes. The common people didn't have to care about it, they had to work. Not explaining anything to them was just easier – the dumber they were, the more the nobles could make them do whatever they wanted.

Wakatoshi seems to read his thoughts. “Everyone here knows how to read and how to do some basic calculus. Then, it is up to each person to decide what they want to learn about.”

Tooru lowers his head. “I see.”

All the mistakes his family made in the past are now clear to him. Although it wasn't just them, it was all the other kingdoms too. But still, pretending to be superior to others when they are all made the same way was disgraceful.

 _No wonder there are so many insurrections all the time_ , he thinks.

Wakatoshi leans over the table and reaches out with his hand. He brushes his cheek gently and Tooru immediately looks up, his breath hitching in his throat.

The man smiles at him. “Are you alright?”

Tooru reluctantly nods. “I was just thinking about Aobajōsai. We screwed up big time, didn't we?”

“It is not your fault. Besides, it is useless to mourn about it now. It is what it is.”

Tooru leans into the touch, closing his eyes. “Yeah...”

_It is what it is._

The hatchlings scatter around after running children and Tooru can't help but smile.

“It is beautiful here,” he says then.

After Wakatoshi pays their meal, Tooru finds him approaching him and kissing him there, in the middle of the crowd. Tooru exhales into the kiss, his chest fluttering at the gesture.

He wants to learn, too.

***

The potions make miracles on his body. After only a week of taking them, Tooru feels better, full of energy. They get back to hunting together. They go to the sea.

Tooru laughs again. A lot.

Swimming helps him. He's always had this strange affinity with water, ever since he was a child. It calms his nerves, to know that even when he relaxes, something is going to hold him up.

But now, he often dreams of fire.

Of the hotness, the destructive power, ready to consume everything and everyone in just seconds. Just staying in the same place as Ancalagon makes him feel better, stronger. And he can't help but wish he was born here, that his life was completely different than this.

Wakatoshi approaches him and Ancalagon follows. Tooru stares into red eyes and he makes a decision.

***

“Now, remember, if he withdraws, it is a sign for you to run.”

Tooru swallows a huge amount of his own saliva and a sudden dizziness overcomes him. He tightly holds onto the sack with sapphires and stands still as Ancalagon comes in front of him, the pile of gold shifting as it walks on it.

Wakatoshi gently rubs Tooru's shoulder. “It does not mean anything if he refuses. We can still find a solution.”

Frankly, Tooru doesn't want to think about that possibility. Going back home, meeting all the people who let him down when he needed them the most, witnessing the downfall of what his father gave his life for... He doesn't want to even consider it a possibility, that all of it was for nothing.

“I shall leave the two of you then.”

Tooru turns around, eyes wide. “Wh-where are you going?”

Wakatoshi's hols on him tightens slightly. “I will be outside the cave. If anything happens, I will know.”

“A-alright...”

“I will be taking my leave.”

Tooru longingly watches as Wakatoshi exits and when they are completely alone, Ancalagon roars. Tooru turns around, determined not to let himself be intimidated. He fails miserably.

But it doesn't matter.

He takes a step forward, then another, until he is only a few steps away from Ancalagon's treasure. As usual, the dragon starts to dangerously growl – it is nothing new, nothing that startles him.

“Ancalagon-chan... I really don't know how to do this.”

He gets down on his knees and then empties the sack. The sapphires fall onto the rocky ground, scattering around the place, although Tooru makes sure none of them end up in the water. He keeps his head low, not wanting to provoke him in any way.

“W-when you were gone, I couldn't help but notice you didn't have any sapphires. And since they can only be found in my kingdom, I wanted to go there.”

Coins scatter around him as Ancalagon moves. He is still growling, but is approaching nonetheless. Tooru closes his eyes – he decides he won't run. If the dragon decides he isn't worthy of his trust, then so be it. He can burn him. It's not like he has any other option.

Ancalagon's head is incredibly large, larger than him. When he sees it in front of himself, as it brushes gently the bright blue gems with its nose. Tooru is tempted to caress him – he's never had the opportunity, even though he witnessed Wakatoshi doing it so many times.

“I know you love Wakatoshi, but I do too. He saved my life and is taking care of me even though he could have done nothing. I am grateful to him and I _love_ him.”

Ancalagon freezes for a moment, then raises its head. But Tooru doesn't let it distract him.

“I... I want to believe that he cares about me too and I want to stay here with him, to at least repay him for everything he's done for me.” Tooru feels tears in his eyes at this point – his vision is blurry and he can't stand it. “Please, let me stay with you.”

Once again, he feels the extremely hot breath of the beast on his body. This time, he dares to raise his head and barely refrains himself from gasping when he finds the giant nose in front of his face. His eyes fall on those teeth... Those giant, sharp teeth.

He looks for the red eyes and finds them glaring and he can't feel his legs anymore.

And then, it happens.

Tooru feels black scales against his skin, against his clothes. Ancalagon nuzzles into him, pushing him until he falls backwards.

He is shocked. More than shocked. But then he finally dares to raise his hand and lay it on the dragon. He is hesitant, but Ancalagon is not reacting violently. Instead, Tooru hears a low rumble coming from its throat and starts to caress him with more confidence.

“Are you... accepting me?”

The glare disappears as the dragon blinks a few times. Tooru feels the wetness on his cheeks increasing and he finally stands up. “You are gorgeous,” he whispers.

Ancalagon screeches at that, then walks down the pile and onto the rocky surface. It lowers on its legs completely, but not before nuzzling Tooru once more. Tooru observes the beast and doesn't understand. “What are you doing now?”

“I believe he is asking you to ride him.”

Tooru turns around with a gasp and finds Wakatoshi peeking from behind the rocks of the exit. For a moment, he is awestruck, but then it dawns on him. “What? M-me? Ride him?”

Wakatoshi finally steps in. “Yes. It means he accepts you; I am afraid you cannot refuse.”

Tooru looks at the beast. “But he is not even wearing the saddle.”

In that moment, Wakatoshi approaches him. “You can ride him anyway. You need to hold onto the spikes on his neck. It is not hard. I can help you climb on.” The man doesn't even wait for Tooru to ask anything else. He raises him up and immediately Tooru finds himself climbing onto the beast's shoulder. He sits right at the end of his neck, then grabs two of the spikes in front of him.

“And now-”

He screams, because Ancalagon suddenly raises up on its legs and jumps over the pool. Then, it spreads its enormous wings and flies out of the cave and into the bright blue sky.

Tooru swears his heart is about to burst out of his chest. The air in his lungs is suddenly too much and there are still tears in his eyes, which are starting to make them burn. But he holds onto the beast nonetheless.

It is the first time he is flying without Wakatoshi's strong presence behind him.

Ancalagon flies faster than Tooru has ever witnessed it. They surpass storms of birds, encounter a few dragons. Tooru finds himself gaping at the view of the whole island. There are so many villages, and at the center of the island, he finally sees the castle.

He sees volcanoes and rivers, hills and mountains. Even though it is so small, Shiratorizawa has everything. Ancalagon flies over the ocean, then lowers until it is brushing the surface of the water with its claws. Tooru grips tighter onto it, but not once does he close his eyes.

Suddenly, they are raising up once more, through the few clouds and into the infinite blue Tooru has seen so many times. It leaves him breathless. Ancalagon finally slows down and Tooru feels like they are swimming.

Only there is no water.

His muscles are incredibly tense, he can barely remember to breathe regularly.

“Thank you so much, Ancalagon-chan... I...”

He doesn't know what to say, so instead he buries his face in dark scales and sighs at the warmth irradiating from them. When he finally raises his head once more, he sees the sky changing color, the blue turning into orange and the white of the clouds turning into all kinds of shades – yellows, reds, purples.

It is indeed _beautiful_.

Tooru doesn't know for how long they keep flying, but all of a sudden he knows what he wants.

“Let's go home.”

As if understanding him, Ancalagon immediately changes direction, lowering a bit. Tooru can see their destination, their _home_ and he finds himself smiling, grinning. The dragon fits perfectly into the crater and once they are back inside the cave, Tooru sees Wakatoshi standing where they left him. Only now, there are candles lit up everywhere as the darkness is slowly overcoming the place.

The fire compliments the colors of the gold and gems and Tooru feels as if he is seeing all of it for the first time.

Ancalagon lands on the pile of treasure and it is in that moment that Tooru feels conscious of himself again. He carefully climbs down the beast and takes a moment to find stability in his legs. They are shaking so much. _He_ is shaking so much.

It is a true challenge to walk down the coins without falling, but once he gets to the rocky surface, Wakatoshi is there.

“Are you alright?”

Tooru doesn't think about it twice. He runs those few steps he needs to reach him and then throws himself at him. As expected, Wakatoshi catches him with those strong arms and Tooru wastes no time to kiss him. Because finally, _finally_ , he can.

Wakatoshi kisses him back, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss and Tooru forgets all of his inexperience, all of the awkwardness that still used to bother him. Wakatoshi's hands settle on his lower back, pulling him closer.

When they pull away to breathe, Tooru feels himself growing hot, the blood rushing through his body, faster ad faster with every second.

“Wakatoshi...”

He doesn't need to say anything anymore, because the man is already kissing his jaw and neck, undoing his clothes one by one. Tooru hears his belt fall somewhere behind them and pulls away. “Wait.”

The man stops, but doesn't pull away, and instead chooses to rest against him, waiting for what he has to say. Tooru takes in a deep breath and then presses his lips against the other's ear. “I want to take it slow.” At those words, Wakatoshi seems to melt into him. Tooru sighs when Wakatoshi's hands slide down to his buttocks, gently cupping them as he resumes his kisses.

“As you wish.”

Ancalagon growls and retreats on top of its gold and Wakatoshi decides to walk Tooru with him to their sleeping place. They end up sitting among the sheets and furs, Tooru on Wakatoshi's lap with his arms around his neck.

They can finally do this without the fear of getting caught.

Wakatoshi gently guides Tooru's hips against his own, and the latter can feel the growing hardness of the rider against his thigh. He moans, quietly, at the mere memory of the first time they did this. He takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere onto the rocks and gasps when Wakatoshi proceeds to kiss his chest, making him arch his back.

“You too,” he breathes and shivers when that soothing touch isn't on him anymore. As Wakatoshi raises his shirt above his head, Tooru lets his own hands run over thick, tanned skin, and hard, defined muscles. The man lets him do as he pleases.

Just as he is about to shift them, to lay Tooru underneath him, the former prince stops him. “No, I want _you_ to lie down.” He smiles slightly when gold looks at him for a moment: And then Wakatoshi nods and does as he was asked, pulling Tooru on top and bringing him down for the umpteenth kiss.

This one doesn't last long, because Tooru immediately lowers down his body, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles over Wakatoshi's chest and abdomen. He undoes Wakatoshi's belt with ease and then immediately pulls his pants down his legs, exposing his cock.

As soon as Wakatoshi is fully naked, he raises himself on his elbows, but Tooru doesn't let him sit up. Instead, he lies on his stomach, over his legs and takes him into his hand, gently stroking the thick length.

“Tooru-”

Tooru hushes him. He places a gentle kiss on the tip, before he finally decides to take him in his mouth. He slowly takes him in, breathing through his nose and gently moving his tongue along. He doesn't manage to fit him in whole, but he covers the rest of it with his hand.

He was taught how to please.

When he was punished and sent to that brothel. He was beaten up every day and at some point a few girls decided to teach him. Not that he asked to. But he didn't have a choice, especially if that could get him away from whips and sticks.

He alternates between sucking and licking, being careful not to choke. Wakatoshi groans underneath him, so Tooru closes his eyes and keeps going. When the man gently grabs his hair, he can't help but pull away and smile. “Do you like it?”

Of course, he doesn't wait for an answer before resuming. He traces every single vein with his tongue, keeps his grip firm, but not too tight. Then he sucks on the tip again.

Until Wakatoshi sits up abruptly and forces him to pull away and raise on his knees. Tooru finds him with a flushed face, with his breathing erratic and he instinctively licks the precum from his lips. He notices Wakatoshi following the movement of his tongue, and then he is kissing him again.

“I want you,” the man whispers and Tooru just nods. He lies on the sheets as Wakatoshi reaches out for the bottle Tooru knows too well. He decides to get on his hands and knees.

Wakatoshi crawls then behind him and soon Tooru feels warm, sticky fingers gently tracing his hole. Tooru bites his lip when the first finger enters him. As always, Wakatoshi takes it slow, careful not to hurt him, sliding in knuckle after knuckle and then pulling out. Only to repeat the process.

He stimulates his prostate and Tooru finds himself moaning into the pillows, his cock feeling heavy between his legs. He wants to touch himself, but decides against it. It will feel better if he waits.

He turns his head to the side and finds Ancalagon lying on the gold, its front legs crossed as those red eyes stare at him. The shiver that runs down his spine is something he's never felt before. It isn't fear... His adrenaline is still high, his blood rushing fast through his veins.

“Fuck me, Wakatoshi. I can't wait anymore...”

Wakatoshi leans over him, placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder, before he pulls away. Tooru closes his eyes and waits.

Suddenly, he feels the tip of that large cock against his entrance and breathes in deeply to relax. Wakatoshi thrusts in him and doesn't find much resistance. Tooru lets out a long, deep moan, feeling the hairs on his arms raise with every inch entering him.

When Wakatoshi's hips meet his, he lets out a shaky breath. He still can't explain to himself how he is able to take him whole.

“Are you alright?”

He nods. “Oh... Yeah...”

Wakatoshi's touch is back on his back, rubbing it gently, until those large hands find their way to his hips. He pulls out slowly, making Tooru moan because of the sudden emptiness, and then pushes back in. He repeats it again and Tooru feels his leg trembling even more than before.

“Faster... Please...”

Wakatoshi does just that and Tooru doesn't bother to hold back his voice, and moans to his heart's content. With every thrust, he hits his prostate, making him shiver, tremble and grow weak in the knees. Tooru lets him do whatever he wants, but finds himself surprised when a strong arm is wrapped around his abdomen and he is raised up. Wakatoshi makes him arch his back and presses him against himself.

Tooru groans, turning his head around and meeting the hungry lips that keep assaulting him over and over. He tries to replicate, but it is almost impossible. He pants and moans and gasps as Wakatoshi keeps fucking him harder.

“It feels- ah! It feels so good...”

The pleasure starts to build up in his lower back and soon it flows and gathers in the pit of his stomach. When Wakatoshi finally decides to stroke his cock, Tooru feels himself growing closer and closer to his orgasm. But right when he is about to be thrown over the edge, Wakatoshi pulls out of him, and lets go.

Tooru whines. “W-why did you stop?”

Wakatoshi nuzzles into his cheek and gently maneuvers Tooru's quivering body, turning him so they are facing each other. He then sits down and makes Tooru sit on his lap. He gently guides him until he is sinking onto him and Tooru's vision gets blurry.

Wakatoshi bites onto his neck as he resumes thrusting into him and Tooru is once again speechless in front of the strength with which Wakatoshi maneuvers his hips to meet his own. The stimulation is soon too much and with one last thrust and a bite on his collarbone, Tooru comes.

He whines as his body starts to shake uncontrollably, but Wakatoshi holds him against himself, stopping him from falling. Warm cum spurts over their chests, but none of them cares. Tooru exhales heavily as he comes down of his high, his muscles spasming uncontrollably. He rests his head against Wakatoshi's shoulder and weakly moves his hips, the fullness too pleasurable to be given up on.

“Keep going,” he whispers and after a glance, Wakatoshi does.

Tooru lets himself be molded in every movement and it doesn't take long before Wakatoshi is stiffening underneath him - Tooru feels warm liquid shoot inside of him, letting out a long moan. Wakatoshi gives a few last thrusts into him, until they are both completely spent.

They don't move for a long while, too busy regaining their breath, their muscles feeling like goo. At some point, Wakatoshi slips out of him and Tooru sucks in a breath.

He is exhausted.

“Tooru...”

Tooru buries his face in Wakatoshi's neck.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.”

The tingling in his neck and collarbone probably means that there will be marks on his skin tomorrow. But it doesn't matter. He will wear them proudly.

Wakatoshi gently makes him lie on the sheets, wiping away the remaining tears on his face. The first thing Tooru does is look at the dragon in the cave. It is sleeping now. He can hear the soft snores and a few coins falling onto the ground as it stretches in its sleep.

His hips hurt, so he stays down for a while. His eyes never leave Wakatoshi, who is resting beside him. Half of the candles are already blown out, but there is still enough light for the gold to shine, for Tooru to see everything.

Wakatoshi watches him with a soft expression on his face (Tooru can't help but smile) and after a while, he decides to clean them up with a towel he dips into the pool. Tooru spreads his legs as the warmth envelops his inner thighs and stomach and once they are done, he sits up.

He can't help but hiss a little, but it is nothing unbearable. He crawls towards Wakatoshi once he sits down again and settles between his legs, pressing his back against his chest. They both observe Ancalagon and Tooru finally feels at ease.

Wakatoshi buries his face in his hair, wrapping his arms around his abdomen and holding him close, _so close._

The candles blow out one by one, until there is nothing but pure darkness.

It is in that moment that Tooru takes Wakatoshi's hand in his, still not shifting from his position. Wakatoshi's warm breath is reassuring, so Tooru closes his eyes, focused on every single part of his body, every muscle, every vein.

“I am glad you are here,” Wakatoshi says then.

Tooru leans into the warmth. “Yeah... Me too.”

He really does love him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I finished this... unexpectedly soon. I must say I'm impressed with myself. 
> 
> The truth is, I should be preparing to go to college, but since my psychological situation is growing worse with every passing day, my parents (and I) are seriously considering to make me skip a year. Just so I can dedicate myself to therapy. By now it is more than clear that I can't keep going on like this - it's been nine months since I've been depressed and I need help.
> 
> Since I spent many many days in bed, all I could do was write, trying desperately to hide into a reassuring world. But my fears and anxiety haunt me everywhere and I don't know what to do about it. I hope I can get through this. I really do.
> 
> Anyway, I apologize for venting with you on every single chapter, but it is much easier to write than to speak, especially if it's with strangers. 
> 
> I honestly hope I didn't disappoint you guys with this chapter. I worked really, really hard on it. Things are moving along, slowly, but surely. I can't wait to start working on the next chapter, because I have SO much in store for you! I'm finally starting to ride the rollercoaster and I'm planning on taking you all with me. 
> 
> GET READY FOR THE FEELS! XD
> 
> ***
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who leaves a comment, a kudo or a bookmark note. A hug to every reader who's been reading this since day one and a big hug and welcome to those who just stumbled upon it. I will keep working hard. I'll see you all at the next update!


	14. The Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There's an eagle,” he tells Wakatoshi then. “It's been following me around for a while.”
> 
> The rider raises his gaze towards the branches and finds the creature staring back at him. He hands the pheasant to Tooru, then whistles.

One day, Tooru finds himself being startled by a screech of an eagle. He loosens his bow and raises his eyes, finding the large bird standing on a branch of the tree beside him, its feathers white as snow, its eyes gold and sharp. It stares at him and Tooru swallows, not sure how to behave.

The bird is probably the most beautiful creature he has ever seen – apart from Ancalagon, of course, but he would rather define it majestic and fierce rather than beautiful. He is not really sure. The eagle doesn't seem to want to menace him in any way and instead it starts to ruffle its fathers with its beak and Tooru just presses his lips together.

Wakatoshi is not by his side, as they have decided to split and hunt each on their own. Ancalagon has not joined them this time – it was snoring loudly on top of its gold when they left, its body partially covered by coins and gems and convinced Wakatoshi to be alone for today's trip.

Tooru holds onto his weapon as he keeps looking up. Should he try and shoot the creature? It would be a magnificent prey, but what for? They are certainly not going to eat it. Sure, they could exchange those beautiful feathers for something, but Tooru is sure that if he killed the eagle right now, he would never be able to forgive himself.

Instead, he turns on his heel and walks away.

It doesn't take long before the bird takes flight and follows him in his steps, only to land on another branch when he stops and looks at it.

After the third time he stops and finds those gold eyes planted on him from a few meters away, he concludes that this is definitely not a coincidence. He puts away the bow and the arrow into his quiver, crosses his arms and stares back.

He can't help but feel a bit proud of himself. Only a year ago, when he returned from his kingdom, shattered by the sight of it, he probably would have tried to hide. He thought Wakatoshi's presence and a little bit of training had healed him from the scars Nohebi left on him, but he was wrong.

His people, his knights, Hajime... They had managed to break him down completely.

But he is trying to forget.

The eagle screeches again and Tooru presses his lips together.

In almost two years that he has spent here, in Shiratorizawa, he has never seen a completely white eagle. Of course, Shiratorizawa is a vast island, full of hidden beauties and interesting places he still has not had the pleasure to see.

But Wakatoshi told him they have all the time they could possibly want and Tooru is grateful for that. He wants to get used to it slowly – beach by beach, river by river, village by village.

Suddenly, he hears rustling from a nearby bush and focuses his attention to it, only to find Wakatoshi emerging from it with a pheasant in his hand. When he finds Tooru empty-handed, he raises an eyebrow. Tooru is aware of that – after all, he never shows up empty-handed lately.

“There's an eagle,” he tells Wakatoshi then. “It's been following me around for a while.”

The rider raises his gaze towards the branches and finds the creature staring back at him. He hands the pheasant to Tooru, then whistles.

Finally, Tooru realizes the function of the leather wrapped around Wakatoshi's forearm. He puts it on whenever they go out, and has a piece on it nailed on his armor as well. The bird flies down and lands onto the offered arm and Tooru immediately gawks at the enormous claws digging into it.

“I've never seen anything like this,” Tooru admits then, stepping closer to Wakatoshi to take a closer look, but stops immediately when the bird hisses.

Wakatoshi just clicks with his tongue and the eagle immediately stops, turning its head towards him, then tilting it to the side. “This is a rare exemplary indeed. White eagles have been a signature of the royal family of Shiratorizawa ever since it came to exist. They are bred at court and released in the wild only to carry messages.”

Only then does Tooru notice the small piece of paper attached to the eagle's leg and when Wakatoshi removes it, after carefully undoing the thin rope, the animal screeches and takes flight. Its wings are large and Tooru can't help but feel in awe.

He wonders whether there is anything _not_ beautiful in this place.

Wakatoshi opens the letter and Tooru sees his usually stern expression turn into a frown. He calls his name as he tries to approach him and see the content written on the letter, but Wakatoshi closes it and puts it in his pocket without saying a word.

Tooru opens his mouth to ask what is wrong, because he knows it is serious – Wakatoshi has never made such a face in his presence, not even when Tooru was constantly breaking down in front of him - but before he is able to let his voice out, the man kisses him.

***

They don't speak of it for the rest of the day.

However, when Tooru wakes up in the morning, he doesn't find Wakatoshi in the cave for the first time in months. He sits up and can't help but feel a bit worried – last night the man looked lost in his thoughts, a rare occurrence to see.

Wakatoshi might be quiet, but Tooru has never seen him not paying attention to him when he speaks. And yet, ever since that letter arrived, it was all he got.

Ancalagon is swimming in the pool and Tooru sits on the edge of it after putting on his clothes, and watches as the beast protests when it needs to turn around, but doesn't find enough space in the corner towards which it swam.

“You've grown again,” Tooru tells it and receives a grunt in response.

He stands up and heads back to the sheets to retrieve his egg and finally decides to show it properly to Ancalagon. For the past year, he has held it distant from the dragon, keeping it safe and warm against his own body when he slept and among the candles when he didn't.

He ponders his decision for a while – he is not really sure for how long. He kneels among the furs in the darkness of the sleeping place and just loses himself in his thoughts.

He has always been afraid of this moment, because he doesn't want to cause any more trouble when it comes to his relationship with the creature. He doesn't want to cause jealousy or make it misunderstand and think the egg belongs to Wakatoshi, even though the latter has told him countless times that there is nothing to worry about, especially since there is no way that it will ever hatch.

He has to admit that it feels a little weird – he doesn't remember when the last time he was alone with Ancalagon was. Wakatoshi is always around after all, and Tooru has really forgotten what it means to be on his own. He holds the dark blue egg in his hand as he sits back onto the rocks, dipping his feet in the water.

He knows the shape of every single scale by heart.

And he will remember it even if Ancalagon destroys it.

He waits for the dragon to turn around and swim towards him, and his stomach is twisting itself into knots while his mind screams at him to hide it, but Tooru doesn't care. He wants to see, wants to know whether it really is dead or not.

Wakatoshi doesn't believe him when he tells him he feels its warmth.

“ _It has turned into stone, Tooru, the warmth you feel is the warmth you leave on it when you hold it,”_ he had told him a few weeks after they returned from his kingdom. Tooru still feels the disappointment of that day washing over him like a river.

He is not sure he wants it to hatch.

Like this, the egg will be forever beautiful, and that should be enough. Because all Tooru wanted, apart from the sapphires, was to bring back something beautiful from that rotten place.

And he did.

Even though it is dead.

He whistles.

Ancalagon finally turns around and pays him its attention. Tooru removes his hands from the egg and lets it rest on his lap, shivering a bit when the beast's heat raises the temperature of the water and makes the warm air of the cave feel just a little colder compared to it.

He sees the large head approaching him curiously and he can't help but wonder just how he managed to keep the egg away from its examination for a whole year. It turns out that he is unable to find an answer.

However, when Ancalagon's nose is brushing against him, he smiles. His fear has completely subsided ever since those sapphires were accepted. Now, he is able to ride him even without Wakatoshi being behind him to hold him, he is able to touch him and climb the pile of gold.

But mostly, he and Wakatoshi can do whatever they want without Tooru ending up in danger. Even after it became routine, Tooru still enjoys swimming with Wakatoshi and kissing him whenever he feels like, while the warmth of the water surrounds them whole. He enjoys snuggling into him in the night. He loves when Wakatoshi makes him come undone at his mere plea.

He is happy.

Even though he still dreams of drowning in piles of corpses, even though he dreams about Hajime, even though he dreams about himself and everyone else burning in blue flames.

 _Blue flames_.

He wonders what those might mean, because it is a dream he often has, or an element always present in any other one.

He talked about it to Wakatoshi, but they just couldn't find an explanation.

Ancalagon lets him brush his muzzle as it gently nudges the egg, smelling it and testing it. Tooru giggles a bit, then hugs Ancalagon's head as much as he can, burying his face into those black scales. He feels so nice.

Ancalagon lets out a quiet but deep snort and Tooru lets go, sitting back and leaning his weight on his hands. The dragon turns around in the water and swims a little further. Tooru sighs and closes his eyes.

Later, he decides to take some of the meat they hunted the day before to prepare himself a meal. He leaves the egg on the ground, safely leaned against the rock, which prevent it from rolling away.

He wonders why he ever was afraid of this moment. Everything went so smoothly.

He hums a quiet melody as he heads to the other side of the cave and lights up a fire.. Before he manages to even reach the meat, he hears a loud roar behind him. He turns around and finds Ancalagon immediately out of the water with its front legs.

In an instant, there is fire coming from its mouth and Tooru falls back, his body freezing despite the heat, all the serenity and calm overcome by a sudden rush of panic and fear. The flames dance around the rocky ground and walls, fortunately away from all of their belongings, but the precious egg is swallowed in them and Tooru feels sick with himself.

Just what has he done? Why now that he is alone? Of all the countless times when Wakatoshi is here, why did he have to do this now that he is gone?

It all happens fast. Too fast.

He regrets all his decisions in that very moment, then, in an instant, gathers his courage to stand up and launch himself into the fire. He doesn't really know why – it is not something he wants, but his brain commands every muscle into his actions and before he realizes it, he is grabbing the boiling egg, screaming and almost fainting when it touches his skin, and then he is in the pool.

He keeps his eyes shut for a long time, his lips pressed together as he holds his breath and sinks in. He feels some shifting and finally dares to look.

He finds the pool empty, if not for himself and the egg in his arms. When he finally decides to check out the latter, he finds the dark blue color melting into the liquid and reveal a paler color, which reflects all the colors around him, the blues of the water and the greens and the reds of the gems stuck in the rocky walls.

When he emerges, all those shades disappear and Tooru finds himself holding a white egg.

Ancalagon lies on its treasure and falls asleep soon after.

.

Wakatoshi runs towards him that evening, when he finds him kneeling by a single candle, icing his chest and arms and hands, trembling in pain.

He kneels by his side, takes his wrists to see them closely, but immediately lets go when Tooru cries in pain.

“What happened?” he asks and Tooru tells him everything while he bandages his arms. This time, Tooru doesn't cry, because he doesn't have any more tears left. Still, he feels bitter and disappointed and incredibly guilty when he presses his forehead against Wakatoshi's shoulder.

“You said nothing would happen.”

Wakatoshi doesn't reply.

That night, however, he is more passionate than ever. Tooru can't claim he doesn't pay him enough attention when they have sex – because he does; he really, _really_ does.

This time, however, his hold on him is tighter, the touches even more lingering, the kisses hungrier than ever. He makes Tooru lie underneath him and proceeds to unravel him until there is nothing else left. Tooru's skin stings because of his burns, but he holds onto the man when he is entered and comes three times before Wakatoshi finally lets him rest.

And even then, as Tooru lies on his stomach, exhausted and sated, and hugs his pillow, Wakatoshi gently lies behind him and kisses his nape and shoulder until Tooru's consciousness slips away without him being able to ask anything about the reason he was gone.

***

The scales of the egg are smoother, he realizes the next day, the small bumps and stones on them having disappeared completely. It shines beautifully and Tooru doesn't understand.

Despite it being on display almost all the time now, Ancalagon doesn't even glance at it once.

***

Tooru climbs onto the pile of gold and reaches the dragon. He sits beside it when it raises its head to look at him. He should be angry and in pain, but he is not. Instead, he wonders why Ancalagon reacted the way it did when only minutes before the incident it was gently nuzzling the egg in his lap.

His skin is still aching and red, but there were no marks that would stay on him permanently. Tooru smiles gently as he brushes Ancalagon's horn when it reaches him once more.

Wakatoshi is sewing a new pillow case from a fox's fur they got in exchange for the feathers of their pheasant. Tooru doesn't think they really need it, given the amount of soft comforters in their sleeping place, but, he figures, it can't do anything but good to them.

When the man sees Tooru sitting by Ancalagon, he says nothing, but the fallen prince can feel his gaze on him for the whole time.

The egg has been even warmer after Ancalagon's attack – not because of the fire, that should be subsided now, especially since Tooru held it in the water for a long time, even though it made all his bandages soaked and did nothing to ease the pain. But the once faint bit of heat only he could feel is now noticed by Wakatoshi as well.

The man is reluctant to say too much about it, but when he runs his hands over it, Tooru can see the softness in his eyes, the slight curve in his lips. Still, the egg is probably more than a century old, if its previous state was anything to believe.

“What did you do to it?” Tooru asks, whispers to the dragon and he only receives a light screech in response and the dragon nuzzles into him once more, urging him to resume his caresses on its scales.

He still remembers when Ancalagon's teeth used to scare him – even though he learned from Wakatoshi that he is still missing some. _“He is only twenty years old,”_ he told him and explained how dragons keep growing for about five times that much. And then live for another century.

Two hundred years.

Tooru can't quite imagine what living that long would be like. Still, he finds it incredibly tragic to know that a dragon can not live with only one human for the rest of its life.

“Wakatoshi?”

“Yes?”

“Where did you go two days ago?”

Wakatoshi stops with his task, his shoulders tensing.

Ancalagon lies its head onto the gold and closes its eyes, while Tooru is still brushing over its scales.

“It is not important,” Wakatoshi replies, but Tooru doesn't accept that as an answer.

“You've been quiet about it since that eagle brought you the letter. You said those are only carrying letters from the King. Did something happen?” Because he wants to know everything. Two years of knowing each other and Wakatoshi knows every single thing about him, while he knows almost nothing about the man who saved his life.

Wakatoshi presses his lips together and a long silence follows. Until he sighs. “I was summoned by the King because he needed to speak to me.”

Tooru raises an eyebrow, now more curious than ever; he gives one, last, gentle pat on Ancalagon's head and then slips down the pile of gold until he is next to him. “Really? About what?”

“About you.”

At first, he doesn't register the answer properly. It takes him about a minute before his heart stops and sinks. He feels his skin rapidly grow cold and his fingers tremble. “What? A-about me?” Then, panic sets in. “W-why? I didn't do anything, I-”

“Tooru, it is alright,” Wakatoshi interrupts.

Tooru doesn't hear it. Instead, he runs his mouth with doubts and questions and fears until Wakatoshi is forced to meet him and make him stop. He holds his arms tightly and prevents him from moving. “Tooru.”

Tooru looks at him and feels his eyes turning wet. “I didn't do anything...”

Wakatoshi leans in and kisses his cheek gently. “Everything is alright, Tooru.”

“How does the King know I'm here? Does he know who I am?”

Wakatoshi nods. “Everyone here knows who you are,” he explains. “Nobody wants to harm you. Father only wanted to make sure you-”

Tooru shakes his head. “F-father? Your father?”

Wakatoshi blinks, pulling back. He seems to ponder over what to say, until he finally decides to nod. “Yes, my father wanted to know whether you were fit to live here.”

Tooru takes a few steps back. “Your father is... the King of Shiratorizawa?” he asks in disbelief and when Wakatoshi nods once more, Tooru lets out a frustrated groan.

“And you've never thought of telling me? You said you don't have a family when I asked you about it.” He clearly remembers it and he doesn't understand why Wakatoshi would lie to him this way. The man tells him to sits down and it takes countless attempts until Tooru finally drops down and buries his face in his hands.

“Listen to me, Tooru,” Wakatoshi asks.

“I am listening,” Tooru mumbles and dreads what is about to be said. What if they send him away? He has no place to go to, no one to return to... Nowhere, no one, nothing. Panic swallows him whole and he starts to shake uncontrollably. Maybe Wakatoshi doesn't want him to stay here anymore – did he do or say something wrong?

Suddenly, he feels warmth in his lap and when he uncovers his vision, he sees Wakatoshi gently laying his egg there and waiting until Tooru wraps his arms around it before giving him a cup of water. It has a strange taste, but he realizes too late that it is mixed with the milk of the poppy.

It doesn't take long for him to be able to breathe normally again, for his muscles to relax and for his mind to be able to think clearly.

Only then does Wakatoshi sit in front of him with a serene expression on his face.

“I apologize for not making myself clear,” he begins. “My father is the King of Shiratorizawa, while I am a dragon rider. I have chosen a different path and to do so I had to renounce to everything I had, including my title and my family.”

Tooru shakes his head. It doesn't make sense. “Why?”

It is then that Wakatoshi tells him something that awakes memories lost a long time ago. “Ancalagon was given to me when I was a child. And he needed all my dedication and devotion to become my partner.”

“ _A dragon requires dedication and devotion.”_

It makes no sense – he understands the dedication, sure. But to claim to have no family because of his dragon is ridiculous. His father had talked about it many times, and yet he was never really able to digest it.

Tooru looks down at his egg. Then at Wakatoshi. And he remembers the menace Ancalagon was for him the first days he spent here. The growls and glares and the fire...

“You gave up on everything for him,” he mumbles. To protect it all.

Wakatoshi moves closer to him and gently brushes his hands with his. Then, he lies down, resting his head on Tooru's legs, and the latter gasps, because Wakatoshi has never done anything like this. Seeking comfort is what Tooru usually does, never the other way around.

“Do you miss it?”

Wakatoshi shakes his head against him. “No.”

Ancalagon yawns and shifts in its sleep and Tooru smiles ever so slightly. He holds his egg with one hand and runs the other one through Wakatoshi's hair. “Isn't it lonely though?”

“You are with me now.”

Tooru hums quietly. Those words warm him up, but then he remembers. “For how long though?”

Wakatoshi stiffens underneath his touch. He tries to sit up, but Tooru takes a hold of his shoulders and pushes him back down and this time Wakatoshi gives in a little. “My father is considering to make you stay.”

“He hasn't even met me.”

“I gave him my word that I would teach you everything about Shiratorizawa, so you could fit in properly.” Tooru doesn't really understand and Wakatoshi seems to read him because of the lack of reply. So he proceeds to explain: “I have told you a few times that only a few selected people are allowed here from outside. That is because it is extremely risky for our culture and the balance created in the kingdom if we bring in people who are not used to our ways. A lot of people take shelter here for a while, but not all of them are allowed to stay forever.”

It is another brilliant idea, Tooru thinks, to limit the influx and educate the newcomers. In the past couple of years, he has learned so much and it just keeps coming. He thinks about the harmony of the kingdom and how he has been feeling ever since he came here.

“He would like to meet you, Tooru.”

This time, Tooru lets him sit up and immediately misses his heat when he moves away to go and get back the pillowcase he has been working on.

Tooru feels like crying. “Is he going to chase me away?”

Wakatoshi settles beside him and allows Tooru to hold onto him as he starts sewing again.

He receives no answer this time.

***

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Wakatoshi asks a few days later, when the burns are healed and when they are finally on court.

Tooru has been shaking since morning and now he stands in front of the biggest and most majestic castle he has ever seen, tall and beautiful with endless gardens. Some people are strolling around them, some of them are working on its maintenance.

Tooru only wraps himself in his cloak and searches for Wakatoshi's reassurance.

After all, what choice does he have?

They walk close to each other and Tooru watches in disbelief when he doesn't see any guards standing in the hallways.

The sight of Wakatoshi's father, the King, makes Tooru kneel instinctively. As soon as they are in front of the throne, at the bottom of the stairs leading to it, Tooru is on the floor, holding his head low, not daring to look up.

It startles all of the people in the room, Wakatoshi mostly, when he drops on his knees.

Tooru doesn't know how to control his fear, the thoughts of him being forced back onto land and left to himself against a world of enemies and cruelty. He didn't mean to drop down like this, not until he was forced to beg for his stay or after he was done introducing himself, but his legs have been shaking since that morning and it takes him every ounce of his being not to throw up or faint right then and there.

He hears Wakatoshi shift beside him, his feet close to him, an inhale, until there is a loud clap. Then, a deep voice echoes all around them, as deep as Wakatoshi's, but it doesn't belong to him.

“You are Oikawa Tooru.”

He nods. “Y-yes.”

“Stand up,” the King orders, and despite his current weakness, Tooru obeys, still keeping his head low, not meeting those strict eyes and only focusing on the elegant and regal, but still simple clothes of the sovereign now standing above him. He is dressed in white adorned with gold.

“And look me in the eyes.”

Tooru does that too, and he meets an even brighter gold than Wakatoshi's own. He almost collapses again, but this time he takes in a deep breath and takes control over himself.

The King studies him, eyeing him from head to toe, then staring into his eyes for a long time, until he returns onto his throne. Tooru glances at Wakatoshi but it is over in an instant.

“All of you, leave the room. I wish to speak to him alone.”

When Wakatoshi complies without questioning, without ever creating any kind of physical contact to reassure him, Tooru longingly stares at him until the giant door is closed and he is alone with the ruler. He turns around then once more, straightens his back and waits.

The King doesn't speak for a long time and Tooru is almost tempted to say something, but the lack of content prevents him from doing so.

And then, finally: “I know your story, Oikawa Tooru,” he begins. “I know about your kingdom and about your kidnapping and although I have never known your father, I offer you my deepest condolences.”

Tooru blinks, feeling his heart break a little because of the memories flashing in front of his eyes.

“Wakatoshi told me you found shelter here, in our kingdom, after he found you, and you have been here for two years now. Is that correct?”

Tooru nods, “Yes, your Majesty.”

“And for the whole time, you have been by Wakatoshi's side.”

Tooru nods again, even though the latter sentence wasn't a question.

In that moment, the strict expression on the King's face softens, his lips curving up ever so slightly. He sighs, then looks up at the high ceiling. “He renounced at all of this when I brought him that dragon. I was hoping he would not, because the initial purpose was only to make him aware of the creatures that populate our land.”

Those words take Tooru aback. He tries not to show his confusion, but he is not sure he is even at the center of attention now.

“Being alone forever is part of a dragon rider's fate. When he brought here that other young man, Shirabu Kenjirō, I thought he was finally changing his mind, but I realized I was wrong when he did not shed a tear when he returned a few months later without him, and told me about the corpse he had to bury in the forest.” The King's voice is filled with bitterness, low and deep, but the content it describes makes Tooru shudder. Because that could have been him. That should have been him. He risked that same ending so, _so_ many times now. But-

“And now you are here,” his father concludes.

Tooru doesn't really understand the verdict, so he agrees. “I am.”

The King stands up, climbs down the stairs, then motions with his hand somewhere behind the throne. “Come with me,” he says – it doesn't sound like an order this time, no. Tooru complies without hesitating this time, and soon enough they are in a small, more intimate room.

The smell of freshly cut roses invades Tooru's nostrils as he sits at the small table he is sent to.

“Now, tell me,” the King announces as he sits in front of him. “Are you planning to live here for the rest of your life?”

It should be a difficult question. It actually is, given his circumstances. He could be sent away at any given moment, and the uneasiness this mere thought causes him is unbearable. But nonetheless, he speaks truthfully. “There is nothing I want more.”

The King eyes him warily, the atmosphere changing completely faster than a blink of an eye. “Allow me elaborate.”

Tooru tenses.

“I do not know whether Wakatoshi has told you or not, but your former kingdom is going through a delicate situation. To be clearer, some of your supporters claim that they have seen you alive and now Aobajōsai has reached the point where a civil war has begun. Your former knights and the common people are in open rebellion _because of you_.”

Tooru's eyes widen.

Of course Wakatoshi hasn't told him.

_Why hasn't Wakatoshi told him?_

“H-how do you know that?”

The King doesn't take his question with a laugh like Tooru expects him to, but then, he _is_ Wakatoshi's father. He must have taken everything from him when it comes to personality. The uneasiness and nervousness turn into anxiety, the news having just settled in his mind.

His kingdom is going through a war.

Because of him.

Hajime must have started it, Tooru is sure about it. He saw it in his eyes that day, that hope mixed with determination and desperation. It made him throw up and feel sick for weeks.

To be honest, though, it was unexpected. And _this_ certainly is unexpected.

“Wakatoshi will explain it to you if you ask him. I want to know something else.”

This time, Tooru doesn't think twice before replying. “I did not start it. I only went back to my former kingdom to collect sapphires to offer to Wakatoshi's dragon so I could stay here. I made it clear to those who recognized me that I have no intention of going back.” He is careful in picking his words.

Perhaps he is not careful enough.

The King hums. “You offered gems to Ancalagon.”

_Perhaps._

“So it is true.”

Tooru's stomach is digesting itself by now, his palms are sweating and his heart threatens to tear through his chest and flee. He is waiting for all of it. He is going to ask him whether he is fucking his son. Whether he is using him to live without missing anything. Whether he is being a slut like he was when stuck in Nohebi.

He is going to be executed.

Five years ago he probably would have been, in his own home, had he been caught fooling around with men instead of women.

He grits his teeth, deciding to grip his knees under the table, because he spots blood underneath his fingernails and on his palms when he looks down for the umpteenth time. It burns, but the fear drowns all the pain away soon enough.

He is going to be sent away.

But then, he hears a chuckle.

And the man smiles at him, the strict expression disappearing completely, as if the person in front of him were somebody else.

“Wakatoshi told me everything. I can not believe he has found someone he cares for so much.”

Tooru's jaw drops. Then, the realization sets in and he melts in his chair.

“He has pleaded me to allow you to permanently stay here and I think I am going to grant it,” the man says as he grabs the pot on the table and pours some wine in two of the cups on display. He hands one to Tooru and keeps the other to himself.

Tooru decides to take a sip – wine might be still hard for him to digest, but it would be extremely rude to refuse right now.

Even when the glass is empty, he keeps the cup at his lips.

“However...”

The world freezes over. All the possibilities hit him and he finds himself not being so sure anymore. What if he asks something disgusting in exchange? Inside his mind, a part of him tells him not to be stupid. Because Wakatoshi's father would never do that – not to him, and especially not to his son. An inexplicable guilty hits him for that one mere thought. “However?”

The King drinks until his glass is empty. Then, he finally explains. “However, I have two conditions. First of all, I want to know more about you – if my son is so fond of you that he came all the way here to beg for you after years in which we barely saw each other, and I need to know why.”

Toorru nods so fast at that that the bones in his neck crack and cloud his vision.

“Secondly, I need you to swear on your life that you will not take part in your kingdom's rebellion.”

Brown eyes widen, but he doesn't get a word in it.

“I am sure that by now you must have realized just how strong Shiratorizawa is. Our dragons are among the strongest creatures in this world and we must do everything we can to preserve them. If you decide to fight with the people who support you and try to coax my son or anyone else to come with you, I shall personally condemn you and execute you.”

Tooru knew it. He just knew it.

There must be no strings attached to the outside world for everything to perfectly flow here.

As soothing and comforting the man in front of him was before, now he sounds like the most dangerous man he has ever met. It makes his whole body shiver and tremble in fear as bile raises to the back of his throat. He must be incredibly pale by now, because the King pours him another glass of wine and makes him drink it.

After struggling not to choke, every single drop is once more gone.

He thinks about Wakatoshi, who must be waiting for him outside of the throne room. He wants to go to him so badly.

He needs to ask him so many things.

But what he needs the most is to leave this castle. He doesn't want to take part in his kingdom's conflict anyway. Had the man not told him, he wouldn't have known anyway.

“So, what is your decision?”

He swallows hard, his mouth still dry even after drinking all of that wine.

He stands up and puts a hand over his heart. “I swear to you, your Majesty. I will not interfere with whatever is going on in Aobajōsai.”

The man eyes him suspiciously, and for a moment Tooru honestly thinks he is not believed. But then the man stands up as well and offers him his hand. Tooru shakes it.

And there is that smile once more.

“Shiratorizawa is your home now. Please make sure to learn everything about it and contribute to its ever growing strength. You may leave now.”

Tooru bows and turns on his heel, heading towards the door.

Before his hand is on the handle though, the King coughs slightly, picking up his attention once more. “And take care of my son.”

This last sentence hits him in the guts, makes all the heaviness he has never felt before and should have fall on his shoulders. He is given such a responsibility right away. Without having his loyalty questioned any longer, without his past or sexuality being judged.

“I will do my best.”

He walks out of the throne room with his head held high, but the moment he finds Wakatoshi right outside, his composure disappears as if it weren't there in the first place and his steps quicken until he is by his side.

“Are you feeling unwell, Tooru?” Wakatoshi asks, clearly concerned.

And only then does Tooru realize that he is frowning. So he shakes his head, immediately pulling off the most reassuring expression he can manage. “I'm fine.”

He decides to leave the questions he has for later, when they are back to their cave.

Wakatoshi brushes his bangs gently, removing them from his sight and Tooru can't help but lean in the touch until it is gone. He smiles, leaning forward until his forehead is leaned against Wakatoshi's shoulder.

There is nothing that he wants more than this.

May his kingdom be damned and burn to ashes.

His guts are painfully clenching and his hands are still uncontrollably sweating, but he tells himself it is just because of the stress.

It will all be better soon.

“Excuse me!”

Both of them turn around to see a maid approaching them gracefully. She bows and smiles. “Our King invited you to join him for dinner.”

Wakatoshi opens his mouth to speak, but Tooru beats him to it. “It will be our pleasure.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I want to apologize to you all for not having updated this fic in three months. I feel terrible for that, but the situation at home is a mess. 
> 
> November was awesome, but then December was just awful, between problems with our finances and my depression. I probably spent the 75% of it in bed, and the other 25% sprawled on the couch and I haven't done much in terms of writing and drawing. I really wanted to update both of my UshiOi fics for Christmas, but I miserably failed at that.
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is not what I wanted it to be, but if I had written everything I had planned for it, it would be three times longer than now, so of course I decided to split its content.
> 
> Finally, Ushijima's past is surfacing and I just planted the seeds for everything I need to finish this, even thought there is still a long way to go. I really hope it doesn't take me too long to complete it.
> 
> Also, while I was in bed, I managed to doodle [Ushijima's design](http://fav.me/dbystkh) since a few people asked me what exactly he looks like. So, here it is. There is a full version coming soon (hopefully), with Ancalagon as well. And I was planning to draw Oikawa and a few other things (characters and locations) in the future. I really hope I manage to do it.
> 
> ***
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who is still waiting for this and to all the lovely people who left a comment, a bookmark or a kudo. I really appreciate it! I'll see you at the next update! :)


	15. (Re)Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dragons are fascinating creatures, Tooru,” his father speaks to him while he tries desperately not to fall asleep. Even though it is dark and he is feeling sick and his father is sitting by his bed after he begged him for a story.
> 
> “Legend has it that every dragon bonds with a man or woman right after it is born.”

Wakatoshi and his father leave at some point, leaving Tooru to wander around the immense gardens surrounding the castle. Even though it is elevated on a side of a mountain, there is still so much space, he thinks, but what strikes him the most is the fact that every single gardener and servant greets him kindly. He is brought food and beverages whenever he is back at the keep.

Still, his mind keeps thinking about what happened with Wakatoshi's father. Ever since he invited them to stay over, the man has been stiffer than usual and he doesn't believe that to be a good sign, even though he tells himself it is just because of the fact that the two haven't spoken to each other in a long time.

They had said they would be paying a visit to Ancalagon, whom they have left by the waterfalls underneath the palace. Tooru really wanted to go too, but he decided against it when Wakatoshi told him to stay there with a look he has never been at the receiving end of and that he can't quite place.

He has a bad feeling about all this.

One of the handmaidens invites him to have a tea with her and he gladly accepts and as he waits for her at one of the tables, he sees a woman walking by. She is wearing a long, red dress and has her dark hair gathered up in an elegant bun. She seems to notice him but doesn't change direction and instead stays on her path until Tooru can't see her anymore.

When the chatty handmaiden returns, she brings the hot beverage with her and serves it to them both. She sits in front of him with a smile on her face and bright eyes. “So, Oikawa-kun, you are not from here,” she begins and Tooru is already afraid of the wrong question coming up.

“How do you like Shiratorizawa so far?”

It never does.

They talk about dragons, about the work in the fields. About the girl's work.

( _Never about Tooru's past._ )

A few hatchlings drop by and Tooru finds out that the people often leave plates filled with meat and bones they don't use for their cooking for the little dragons to eat.

The creatures come to play with them and Tooru gives in.

He looks at the giggling girl and asks her name.

“Reika.”

He takes a mental note with it and scratches the little dragon's belly as it rolls around on the wooden surface.

Soon enough, they part way because Reika must return to her duty. So Tooru decides to explore the gardens some more. He finds a path through the woods at the edge of the large field and heads into it.

It is rather tight, but still well-kept.

He moves the lowest branches away to keep them from hitting his face and is careful not to slip and fall, since he is definitely going downhill and in some points the descent is steep. He doesn't really have the sense of time going by, especially because the trees are now so thick he is surrounded by darkness in the middle of the day.

He honestly hopes he is not lost. Because with Wakatoshi gone and nobody else knowing where he is he could be causing serious trouble, while only hours before he had sworn to Wakatoshi's father that he would blend in and do his best not to cause any.

At some point, however, he hears the splashing of the water in the distance, so he follows the sound until a dragon's cry echoes in the distance. A cry he could recognize among millions by now.

Then, a strong wind blows for only a moment and then there is a loud thud. Tooru walks faster and smiles when he finds Ancalagon standing in front of him in the distance, sniffing around the bushes and trees. Immediately he is running towards it.

When the beast notices him, it walks towards him and stops only when its muzzle is nuzzling into Tooru's chest. The fallen prince gently pats it, but decides not to say anything. There is only one thing he is certain of, though: if Ancalagon is here, then Wakatoshi must be close by.

Ancalagon turns around and screeches at him, then leads him towards the end of the woods. When Tooru sees the light of the sun again, he can't help but feel at ease, but then he hears voices and immediately slows down.

“Father, please, do not ask this of him!”

Tooru halts.

Wakatoshi sounds in distress.

Ancalagon looks at him before he heads out in the opening beside the waterfall, but doesn't insist on bringing him out, so Tooru decides to hide behind a bush and wait.

It is wrong, yes. Of all the things he should be doing right now, eavesdropping is not one of them.

“Wakatoshi, I made myself clear. He is an outsider and to accept him in our kingdom, I need to make sure his promise of loyalty is sincere,” the King replies.

They are both standing by the water, facing each other.

This is the first time Tooru sees Wakatoshi arguing with someone.

“I understand that, but it has been two years now and Tooru has done nothing but help our people. I can guarantee you that he has no desire of ever leaving, let along ask us to join him and help him conquer back his lands.”

Tooru gasps. It all strikes him by surprise – has he not been convincing enough?

“You can not know that,” the King says then, crossing his arms.

Wakatoshi acknowledges Ancalagon when it approaches him to nuzzle into him, but he never falters from the discussion. “Had you not told him about the rebellion, he would have never known.”

Brown eyes widen. _Wakatoshi... knew?_ Since when? How? Countless questions pop in his head and the whole situation is becoming too overwhelming. Tooru was hoping that the whole situation would end the moment he was out of the throne room, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

“And what if he found out anyway?”

“He would not have. Because nobody talks about the outside world even though everyone knows everything. We gain nothing from that, but we do gain from having outsiders' blood strengthening ours.” Wakatoshi's speech makes Tooru's stomach drop, the blood in his veins freeze.

He doesn't understand.

“You have lost the right to these kinds of decisions on the day you renounced to your title and denied me a proper heir for our dynasty,” his father remarks, his voice cold and strict. Tooru collapses on his knees. Is he being used? “Besides, since you have decided to keep him to yourself, I do not see how he could be of any use to us.”

Tooru takes time to process what he hears and at some point, he feels like his head is about to explode. His heart feels like it is about to stop and his body feels like goo. There are more and more questions coming up and it takes every bit of restraint for him not to throw himself at them and demand answers.

“Seriously, Wakatoshi, what has gotten into you? Have you learned nothing from what happened to Shirabu?”

Now, this draws Tooru's attention to its maximum. Wakatoshi spoke that name only once, when Tooru had asked about his dead lover, and never again.

“Do not speak of him, father. It has been a long time.”

Ancalagon takes flight and the two stop and observe it for a moment. Then, the King sighs. “Do not be a fool, Wakatoshi. Ancalagon is going to burn down that boy as soon as it gets tired of him. It can only ever bond with one man and it chose you, and there is nothing you can do to change that.”

“Tooru offered him gems. Angalagon lets him ride him. That had never happened before with anyone.” Tooru feels the blood rushing to his cheeks. Wakatoshi has never told him this. “And that is why I find it absolutely unnecessary to test his loyalty and devotion to us any further.”

The older man seems to be taken aback by the last statement. He hums, then ponders over his son's words for a long time. Tooru is almost tempted to go back before they find out he is here, but his body doesn't listen. He needs to know.

He needs to know what the King wants him to do.

“Do you love him so much that you would put our kingdom's safety at risk for him?”

“I am not putting our kingdom's safety at risk. Tooru is not a threat.”

“Answer my question.”

Ancalagon lands behind Wakatoshi then, eyeing the man and blowing steam from its nose. Wakatoshi stands fiercely beside the dragon. “I do, and therefore I do not want to put him through any more pain. He has been through enough.”

Tooru clenches his fists until his nails are digging in his skin. Ancalagon seems to feel his distress, because it immediately turns to look at him. He takes a few steps back, hoping for them not to notice him. Fortunately, they don't.

With one last look to the two of them, Tooru turns on his heel and decides to head back. None of his questions have gotten answers, but he is certain Wakatoshi will give them to him if he only asked. Which he will, when they will be on their own again.

.

Dinner goes by quietly. Nobody talks much.

Tooru finally meets Wakatoshi's mother, but his try to approach her is pointless, as she barely even acknowledges his presence. She and the King talk to Wakatoshi, while Tooru eventually receives only a few questions.

He thought he would be at ease if they didn't ask anything about him, but he finds it incorrect. Being transparent makes him worry, but fortunately Wakatoshi looks at him every once in a while and it makes it all a little better.

“I shall have the girls prepare two rooms for you to spend the night,” the King says at some point and Tooru feels a lump in his throat that is way too hard to swallow.

.

His room is spacious and the bed he is lying on is softer than the furs in their sleeping place. Yet, Tooru finds sleep hard to come by. He tosses and turns among the bed sheets in the dark, until he finally groans and sits up.

The light clothes he was given stick to his body because of the sweat and it is not comfortable enough. So he decides to remove them all until he is naked and gives sleep another chance to come.

He misses his egg. Whenever he feels in distress, hugging it to his chest tends to make it easier to bear, just as running his own fingers through every single scale makes him able to isolate himself from the rest of the world and succumb into a peaceful daydream.

But now there is none of it.

He swears to himself he will never ever leave without it.

When he hears a knock on his door, he is tempted not to answer and pretend he is sleeping, but then he hears Wakatoshi's voice, deep and quiet, calling his name.

“Come in,” he says eventually.

The door opens quietly, and Wakatoshi comes in, still dressed with the clothes he wore during the day. But he smells of cleanliness, so Tooru guesses that he too must have taken a bath, although it must have been in a different place from his.

Instinctively, Tooru wraps the soft blanket around himself and makes himself comfortable against his pillow. He observes every movement of Wakatoshi's body as the man approaches the bed. His steps are so light, he thinks.

“Are you alright? You were quiet during dinner.”

Tooru feels Wakatoshi's weight sinking into the mattress and it makes his body slide a bit closer to it. As usual, Wakatoshi is nothing but warm. He hums. “I was utterly ignored, what was I supposed to say?”

Wakatoshi sighs. “I apologize for that. I have not seen my family in a long time. As you might have noticed, they do not approve the path I have chosen,” he explains. And Tooru understands it: after all, he is their only son, the only one who could carry the royal family forward, and yet, he decided to discard it all in order to live with a dragon.

Still, had not the King wanted that, he shouldn't have shown the beast to him when he was a child.

The moment when Wakatoshi's fingers start to play with his hair, Tooru closes his eyes. He thinks about the conversation he overheard and can't help but feel uneasy, perhaps for the first time, about Wakatoshi's presence.

He wonders whether he should say something, or just pretend like none of this ever happened.

Truth to be told, he wants to go back in their cave, where no one asks any questions, nor doubts his loyalty to the man who saved his life and his kingdom, where a dragon protects them with its treasure and there is peace.

“Will you stay here for the night?” Tooru asks after pondering over the situation for a while.

Wakatoshi nods and makes his way under the covers.

A callused hand soon finds Tooru's bare hip, where it rests as it pulls his body closer. The fallen prince buries his face in Wakatoshi's neck, gently rolling them over until the man is lying on his back and Tooru is on top of him.

He has always hated staying in the castle back at home. Because even though he appeared to be alone, there were always eyes and ears focused on him and whenever he breathed, everyone knew. Here, it should not be any different.

Yet, Wakatoshi decided to come to his room despite the fact that the King gave them two different rooms when he clearly knows about them. Maybe this too was a test, to see if Tooru knows his place.

He is glad Wakatoshi is the one to break the rules.

***

“Wakatoshi, how did you find me on that day?”

The weather is beautiful and the sea is bluer than Tooru has ever seen it. He steps into the water and sighs at the refreshing feeling that contrasts with the heat of the sun. He stretches the stiff muscles of his arms and back, wincing at the pain Wakatoshi's sword left during their training.

Wakatoshi sits behind him only a few steps away and he is not in the perfect shape either, if the blooming darkness on his shoulder is anything to believe; he is reading a book in silence, while the sun hits the skin of his torso. He stops as soon as Tooru pops the question.

“I saw you being chased from the sky,” Wakatoshi says. “It was quite an obvious sight: you were running and behind you there were a few hundreds of men on horses with hounds.”

Tooru figures he might have formulated the question wrong. So he turns around and meets gold eyes. His thoughts have been killing him lately, ever since they left the palace. Despite Wakatoshi's confession, he still wonders what the King wanted him to do as an ultimate test, but the most important thing is the fact that he wishes for Wakatoshi's explanation.

The one he was promised by the King himself.

“I meant, _why_ were you there?”

Wakatoshi motions him to come closer and Tooru obeys. He lowers on his knees, settling between Wakatoshi's legs, facing him with his back. The man gently massages his shoulders, brushing against the short hairs on his nape with his thumbs whenever he reaches his neck.

“Did your father tell you to ask me?”

“Does it matter?” Tooru replies almost instantly. He wants to know more. He _needs_ to know more.

Wakatoshi's hands lower on his shoulder blades. “I guess it does not.”

Tooru watches as Ancalagon emerges from the water with a small shark, throwing it in the air and then burning it before it falls in its mouth once again. “Then tell me everything.”

“As a dragon rider, I am obliged to travel across the nearby countries to collect information. We are an isolated country, but we have never been in a situation where we did not know everything there is to know about the Japanese continent.”

Tooru tenses slightly under his touch then, grunting when Wakatoshi's fingers press against an injured spot. “So you knew about my kingdom... When it happened...” he mutters, somehow disappointed. But then, he knows he should not be mad.

“I did.”

Tooru bites his lip.

“Nohebi was expanding its territories at the time. As much as we did not approve of it, our rule is never to intervene in other kingdoms' matters. We must always stay impartial and invisible.”

At that, Tooru's eyes widen. He swears he feels his heart skipping a bit and his blood slowing down. He turns around, gasping when he finds Wakatoshi's face close to his own, their lips almost touching. “But you flew on the ground to save me.”

Wakatoshi's gaze flickers only briefly to his lips, before it focuses on his. “I did.”

Tooru swallows all the saliva suddenly invading his mouth. “You broke the rule.”

Once again, “I did.”

That confession makes no sense. It is because of that that Tooru feels himself being hit right in the chest. “But... You are the King's son. You of all people-”

“I know,” Wakatoshi interrupts him and Tooru finds a weird expression on his face, similar to a frown but not quite so. He decides not to ask any questions anymore.

He doesn't need to know anything else.

After pressing a chaste kiss on the corner of the man's mouth, he buries his face in his neck, exhaling against warm skin.

“I love you,” he whispers, so lightly he doubts he was heard. He is afraid once again, standing in front of a world he doesn't know. But the moment he saw Wakatoshi begging his father not to hurt him and saying he would risk the safety of his kingdom by keeping him here made him understand that he can trust him.

He almost repeats his words, _almost_.

Wakatoshi kisses him gently, right above his ear and when Ancalagon walks out of the water, he holds Tooru tighter against himself. “I want to show you something.”

***

“ _Dragons are fascinating creatures, Tooru,” his father speaks to him while he tries desperately not to fall asleep. Even though it is dark and he is feeling sick and his father is sitting by his bed after he begged him for a story._

“ _Legend has it that every dragon bonds with a man or woman right after it is born.”_

_Tooru blinks away the sleepiness and clutches the covers with his small hands. “But how? They are beasts like any other,” he mutters._

_His father smiles at him, his large hands running over the heavy book covered in leather in his lap. “I am afraid it is not true. “Dragons recognize strength, and yet they are dominant and fierce creatures. They do not look for someone to tame or command them, but for someone to be their equal, someone who will belong with them, in whatever place on this earth.”_

_Tooru hums._

_His father chuckles and wipes away the sweat from his forehead. “And they know who the right person for them is, as soon as they are born. They just need to be lucky enough to meet them.”_

***

Tooru trembles with excitement when he approaches the dragon. He could not stop thinking about it for weeks. The beast as always nuzzles into him as soon as he is close enough and it lets him climb the pile of gold after Wakatoshi.

Tooru keeps observing him every time he puts on the saddle on Ancalagon's back and he waits for him to finish to hand him the few belongings they are bringing along.

“Your bag, Oikawa,” Wakatoshi says, offering him his hands.

Tooru shakes his head. “I'll carry this one, don't worry,” he replies with a smile.

Ancalagon screeches as they mount him and soon enough they are in the air.

To be honest, Tooru has never thought that the birth of dragons would be an important event to attend, especially since, during his stay, he found so many hatchlings everywhere they went. But apparently, they are born in cycles.

And when he is brought inside one of the largest underground cages he has ever seen, filled with water and rocky nests, he can't help but feel all of the excitement build in his abdomen.

Dragons gather around them, larger than Ancalagon is, larger than the ones Tooru has seen outside the villages. A giant red dragon stands on top of the tallest rock, immobile, as countless creatures gather around it.

Tooru feels like a fly among giants, small and helpless, an insignificant creature in an infinite world. He wonders how there can be a cave large enough to fit all of this, but a simple glance outside, at the river streaming out of the lake, makes everything feel a little less enveloped in the darkness.

The moment they reach the water, Tooru's legs start to tremble, but Wakatoshi urges him to step in, despite the fact that he is still carrying their belongings or is dressed up. It takes a while for Tooru to realize they are not the only human beings in that cave.

Countless adults and children are hidden behind the larger rocks. Tooru discovers a couple of pregnant ladies, with whom he supposes are their husbands. The children mostly keep their eyes on the eggs between the dragons' claws.

Tooru looks at Wakatoshi for explanation and finds him sitting with his back pressed against the edge of the pool. He motions Tooru to sit with him and when the latter does, he finds a peaceful expression on the man's face.

“Once a hatchling is born, it will bond with a man worthy of it.”

Wakatoshi says nothing more after that, and Tooru doesn't bother to ask. He doesn't know whether this is a test or just another wonder he is going to have the honor to witness. Still, he sits beside the man who saved his life and waits.

When the sun lowers and the sky outside turns orange, the red dragon roars and all the others take flight. Wakatoshi stands up and Tooru does as well. Then, there is screeching and roaring and-

And all Tooru can see then is fire.

This time though, there is no one pushing him away, and the fire is not only directed at him but is all around him. Tooru feels his skin burning and shuts his eyes. His legs give out and he falls in the water, letting out all the air in his lungs, not caring about having to survive under the surface.

When strong arms wrap themselves around him, he dares to look, and all he can see is red and a glimpse of gold, until Wakatoshi is pulling him close and burying his face in Tooru's neck.

Tooru watches the water burn and boil, eyes lost in countless shades of red, skin suffering from the heat, until his world turns black.

When his senses return, he finds out he is able to breathe and all he can see is fire consuming everything, dancing aggressively on the surface of the water. Wakatoshi is still holding onto him with a strong arm wrapped around his waist, holding him on his feet. The water is warm and when Tooru lets his gaze wander down his body, he finds out that there are no bruises or scars anywhere.

And yet, he swears he felt it all. And the fire is still clinging onto their bodies, on the tips of Tooru's fingers and on his arms. Wakatoshi is burning too, but doesn't even flinch.

The dragons are flying in and out of the cave, still spitting fire and enveloping the cave in heat and light. Tooru sees _everyone_ burning, and yet, there is no screaming or shouting or crying...

Wakatoshi looks at him before he is able to say a word, and his gaze is nothing like Tooru has ever seen it until now. It is dark and intense and Tooru doesn't know what it means.

But it is then that his blood rushes through his veins and he throws himself forward, kissing Wakatoshi with all his strength, letting the confusing mix of feelings take over until he can no longer breathe. It is all messy then, between his own shock and dizziness.

And yet, Wakatoshi is his anchor as always, despite his weak legs and the adrenaline pumping through his whole being. At some point, he gives in and pulls Wakatoshi underneath the surface for just a moment before the latter's hands find their place against his hips and bring him up until he calms down.

It is then that Tooru hears it.

A loud, high-pitched cry.

And another.

And then another.

They echo through the cave, the most beautiful song Tooru has ever heard. Tooru's jaw drops, and the next heatwave the dragons spit passes unnoticed by his skin. He sees himself burning, but his eyes are lost above, on top all of the rocks.

Brown eyes widen then, when countless little dragons raise into the air and take flight.

Tooru finds himself unable to care about the fire, and he steps forward and away from Wakatoshi's embrace. When he hears water splashing everywhere, he looks around and finds children, women and men stepping into the water and running towards the hatchlings, meeting them halfway and laughing.

And he has never seen anything more beautiful.

But when no creature flies towards Tooru, the latter finds himself wandering deeper into the water, until he is no longer standing but swimming instead. He finds himself reaching the rocks and climbs them quickly, wanting to reach the nests on top of them.

His muscles ache by the time he is on top, but when he catches a glimpse of something shiny, he finds his strength again and keeps going. Wakatoshi doesn't call for him, so he doesn't bother to look back. He can still feel the fire on his arms and upper body, but there is still no pain.

Yet, when he reaches the top, he feels his heart drop, and suddenly all the burning pain is there. He finds countless broken shells by his feet, but no hatchlings waiting for him, and even though he didn't even know this is what they came here for, he can't help but feel hurt and exhausted all of a sudden.

He looks around once more, now having the view of all the cave around himself, and realizes just how many people are here. He hears that beautiful song once more, but none of it is meant for him.

He lowers his head, rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, the blows away the fire off his forearm.

He still doesn't belong here after all.

Still, his awe grows and grows until he can't take it anymore.

Time goes by - he doesn't know exactly how much – and Tooru feels himself growing number with every second. At some point, he finds himself jumping into the water, and he doesn't make it in time to return to the surface, that Wakatoshi is already there, pulling him out and onto the shore.

Tooru feels his consciousness slipping away, but Wakatoshi doesn't allow him to close his eyes, so he doesn't. He keeps looking at the baby dragons flying all over the place as the larger dragons lie on the rocks and fall completely silent.

Ancalagon flies by them and lands a little bit further, careful not to stand on any of the people close to them. Wakatoshi gathers their burning belongings and Tooru finds it fascinating how everything remains preserved, intact.

“Are you alright, Tooru? You are pale.”

Tooru forces a small smile, then helps Wakatoshi soak their bags in the water until the fire dies out. Then, he stands and reaches their dragon, where he sets everything and then climbs onto the saddle. Wakatoshi sits behind him, ready to fly them away, and Tooru steals one last glance at the beasts they leave behind.

They don't speak for the whole ride to the cave, but once they are inside and comfortable, Tooru breaks. Wakatoshi is by his side when that happens and Tooru knows he doesn't understand.

“That was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.” It is true, never would he have believed such beauty existed in nature, and to witness it after listening to countless legends and after making himself think that none of it was real makes him content with his life.

If he died now, he would have no regrets. He has seen it all.

And yet...

Wakatoshi's hand runs through soft, brown locks, but Tooru is not able to stop his tears. Because he wants to fit in, he wants to be able to tell that this is his home, but if his determination and wishes weren't enough to attract any of those baby dragons towards him, maybe there is something wrong with him.

He doesn't understand – he survived the fire, he survived more horrible things than the fire. The King has accepted him, the Queen was reluctant, but she is not opposed to his presence in Shiratorizawa.

Wakatoshi claims he loves him.

Tooru knows he certainly loves Wakatoshi.

So why?

He meets Wakatoshi's gold eyes for the briefest of moments, before he finally lets himself rest against him. “But I don't belong here.” Wakatoshi stiffens beside him and Tooru lets his arms move forward until he is embracing him.

“Tooru-”

“I want to belong here. But every single being just keeps reminding me that I am a stranger, a foreign visitor who was brought here and is only meant to watch from afar. Just what am I supposed to do?” His voice is low and weak, just how he felt when none of those dragons chose him.

Wakatoshi exhales against him. “It takes time.”

Tooru sucks in a breath. “Does it?” He hardly believes it. He is trying his best, but it is not enough.

“It does. You need to be patient. Sooner or later, you will be chosen,” Wakatoshi promises and Tooru finds himself wondering whether this will be the first time he lets him down and is unable to maintain his word. Still, he forces himself to trust him, like he always does.

When he sits back, Wakatoshi stands up. “I shall go to the village to buy a few supplies.”

Tooru feels tired just by hearing it. His skin tingles in an odd way.

“You should rest, though,” the man continues. “You might not be in pain, but the fire took its toll on your body, and, being it your first time, you should try to regain some energy.”

Tooru nods without complaining and watches wordlessly as Wakatoshi mounts his dragon and they fly away from the cave, leaving him alone.

His skin tingles a bit harder now that he is on his own, able to focus on his body. He stands up and walks to his bag, with the intent to pull out an ointment, but the moment his eyes lie on it, he stops in his tracks, frozen.

He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands, because he must be so exhausted that he is hallucinating.

He must be hallucinating.

There is no other explanation.

But he swears it moved.

He swallows a hard limp in his throat and makes another step forward, but as soon as his heel touches the ground, the bag moves again.

And he remembers.

His egg.

He brought it along without telling Wakatoshi. Because he kept hoping, still _is_ hoping that the warmth he occasionally feels when holding it is real.

His blood begins to rush in his veins and his breathing turns erratic to the point his lungs threaten to explode. His heart beats against his chest painfully, and his skin feels like fire all over again.

All of a sudden, he hears a noise.

A weak, high-pitched cry, before he rushes himself to the bag and throws himself on his knees in front of it. In that moment, fire explodes and the fabric finally burns and is consumed. Tooru stops breathing and reaches into the flames, and this time it hurts. This time, when the flames lash out, they are devouring him, but he doesn't run away even though there is nothing here able to keep him on his feet, stable and safe.

When he tries to dig his hands into the burning leather, he meets the sharp scales of a broken egg, cutting into his skin, until there is blood pouring everywhere, and in that moment, the fire seems to freeze and the pain ceases to exist, this time, taking away everything but Tooru's senses.

He collapses on his side, holding shreds of stone in bloodied hands.

Another cry echoes through the space, this time louder and stronger, still high in pitch, but so much different than the cries he heard in that cave. He feels it in his every bone, in every muscle, in every hair... He feels it in every part of him and it is paralyzing.

He doesn't know how much time goes by, but all of a sudden, he feels something sharp clawing at his shoulder. Then a weight climbing on top of him, so subtle, but so persistent and real he finds himself unable to sit up. He does find the strength to turn his head to look up and when his eyes are able to focus, he meets blue eyes and white scales.

He blinks once.

He must be dreaming.

Once again, he finds himself witnessing the most beautiful sight in the world.

The baby dragon raises on its two rear legs and cries, louder and louder, ripping away the doubts and confusion, announcing its birth to the quiet world around them.

And Tooru cries too.

Because he was wrong.

Because this is for him.

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Ahh, I know this took WAY too long. I'm so sorry. :(
> 
> Unfortunately there have been so many things going on in my life lately - I'm doing my best to fight my depression and I managed to make some friends who are helping me through all of this by bringing me outside and distracting me in every way possible. It does help a lot but there are still terrible moments for me and when they do come, it is almost impossible to ignore them. Other than burying myself in countless activities, I don't know what else to do and in some moments I just end up exhausted and sick of everyone and everything.
> 
> I still haven't managed to look for a job, but I am way too broken to look for any kind of commitment even though I really need to try and earn some money. It's just so hard and I barely have any strength left to do anything.
> 
> Writing and art have been hard for me to work on, but after three months, here I am with a new chapter (which is way too short for the amount of time it took me to write - and as always, I'm not entirely satisfied with it).
> 
> At least I can finally reveal to you the [complete design of Ushijima](http://fav.me/dc9o0f3) \- that one I've had ready for a few months, sitting in my PC and waiting for me to finish the chapter because I wanted to add it in as an extra surprise. I really hope you check it out and enjoy it - I honestly hope it will also be enough for you to forgive me even a little for taking so long with the update.
> 
> Congratulations to everyone who guessed this chapter's events right! Here's your dragon dad Oikawa. :)
> 
> ***
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who is still reading this and to those who add this to their bookmarks, to those who leave kudos and a hug and a kiss to those who take their time to leave a comment. Know that, even though I sometimes take forever to reply, I always read everything you send me. 
> 
> I can't wait to start to work on the next chapter. I'l see you all on the next update!


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